Gigi: Hello dear listeners. It’s Gigi today, and it’s me alone, so we know what that means. That means ramble instead of structure. 

Makena and I are – I’m doing some traveling, and she was doing some traveling, so we’ve been doing different episodes on our own. And I know she just did a beautiful one on how to take care of yourself, and we just love her structure.

So, for some of you – I know it’s more difficult sometimes to listen to me because I’m a rambler – but the topic today, I think, is a really powerful topic. 

And first of all, I just want to say thank you so much for listening. It’s been really exciting. I think we’re at around a year of doing our podcast, and it is just awesome to hear the women that are listening. And we have no idea you’re listening, right? And we meet so many women that say they’re listening and really enjoying, and we so, so, so appreciate that and just love putting out good content for you.

So please, if you have topics or if you have a question about the information, you can send to me – gigi@wayofthemuse.com, and I’d love to answer your questions. 

Or if you have some interesting topics or some things that you want us to talk about. Some of our really best podcasts, I think, have been around topics that people have shared with us that they wanted us to chat about.

So today we’re going to talk about women stepping into really their feminine power. 

And I know there’s so much out there about femininity and masculinity, and when I go through this today, I want you to make sure that you make a distinction – that I’m not making one better than the other. I’m going to talk very frankly about the differences because it gives you a way of understanding it. We have to make those distinctions.

But also, I am going to touch into women that are a little bit too much in their feminine also. Because there are women that are in that, and it actually prevents them in business or in their own businesses to really be as successful as they want to be.

So I’m going to go through – I’m going to give you a lot of different examples. We call this Go Mode and Flow Mode. 

Go Mode is the more masculine style, and Flow Mode is the more feminine style. We need both. We have to have both. 

What I have found from way back in the early ’90s when I started working with women that had gone into corporations – then I saw that so many of them had taken on this kind of masculine persona. 

Because back at that time, you have to think of it that most of the industries were predominantly male. And so in order to survive and get promoted, that’s what they thought needed to happen. And at the time, a lot of times, it did.

So when they started working with me, I would show them how to take more of their feminine skills and their natural feminine ability, and still have that masculinity piece in business that we need. Because that’s absolutely what makes things happen. And to take both of those – but to tap back into their femininity – because that is the power we have as women. And I don’t mean flowy dresses and the right makeup and all that. All those things are great for femininity.

But I’ve met many women that are very beautiful and very well taken care of and very soft on the outside – but inside, they are a bit hard. And just that they have, like I said, practiced to go into business and be in business. And they kind of got stuck in that Go Mode.

And when that happens, what happens to a woman is that she really loses touch with her body. She loses touch with her intuition. And so I’m going to ramble – so get ready for a ramble.

But here’s the point: that when women stay rooted in their femininity – things like empathy, intuition, collaboration – you know, we have that natural emotional intelligence. And what happens is we often build inclusive and trust-based environments, and that can lead to stronger teams and loyal clients.

And I could go on and on in a lot of different directions on this because this has been my study for almost my thirty-nine years now. And so there’s a lot of different subtleties to this. So again, most of this is going to be generalizations, so we can’t take everything I say like it’s written law. It’s a way – I say it’s like art. It’s a way of looking at things. 

And when you listen to me and you go out and you view the world and you view things through this lens, you’ll start to see things differently, and I think it’ll be super valuable for you in business and just in your life.

So when we shift into more of that masculine mode, that’s more competitive. It’s that energy of making things happen. I always said it was more like management instead of leadership. For a long time, that was the masculine way of doing business. We told people what to do, and we basically controlled the system. And that’s a very masculine approach.

But I believe that when women came into business and came into companies, we started to bring in more of a leadership style. And leadership is when we show people what to do. Now, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t men out there who are incredible leaders. There are so many men out there that are amazing leaders. And many women have men mentors that teach them so much about business.

But what happens is, when a woman gets too stuck in that kind of energy, she can actually come off as harsh or maybe disconnected. So it’s not about, again, making one better than the other. It’s about this thing of balance and authenticity. How do we balance the two?

And I love to do that also in the year-long program I teach for Secrets of Power Couples. With couples, it’s how do they take their differences – because they so complement each other – they take those and they work together in such a way that they start appreciating their differences.

So I’m going to give you some examples.

First, imagine there’s a woman leading a team and there’s a crisis. And she leans into more of her femininity. And so what happens is she may gather her team up, she listens very deeply to what’s going on, she creates this kind of supportive space where people feel heard. And what that does, like I said earlier, is that starts to build trust. And it encourages creative problem-solving.

And this is a really big point, because often I will work with women that are senior VPs, and they have been so used to making it happen and being in more of that masculine role that they don’t have that collaboration with their team. And so the whole weight of everything is on their shoulders. When you step into more of that feminine approach at times – and certain times – then what happens is everyone starts collaborating, and there is much more of a creative problem-solving that happens.

Now, let’s think about if she switches over to a more masculine mode in the same situation of crisis. She might push for really quick results. She issues orders. She expects performance without much discussion. And the thing is, that works a lot of times. That is needed at certain times. And it may, in a situation like this, work for the short term, but over time it can cause burnout in people. And it can also cause a lot of resentment because people don’t feel heard.

It’s the same if you think about negotiation. A more feminine approach might involve more of a collaborative, asking questions, really listening, understanding the other side’s needs, and also often coming up with these kind of win-win outcomes. And the more masculine approach might be, “We gotta win this at all cost,” and, “We gotta close these deals.” And that’s okay, but a lot of times what happens is it burns bridges.

Now, are there times when we’ve got to get in there and close the deal and win – and in sports and things like that – that’s fantastic. You go for it with everything you’ve got. And in business, often we have to do that as well.

And if you think about it, around networking… a woman more in her feminine energy might build relationships. And she does this through curiosity and being deeply interested in people, and this kind of mutual support. And that often leads to deep, long-lasting partnerships. And these are things that I’ve taught for, like I said, almost forty years now.

And in teaching them, I’ve taught women how to tap back into those most feminine skills and use those when they are in a business, when they’re running their own companies. And these things are so natural to us. But again, they can be very foreign if a woman has been in that Go Mode for many, many years.

The opposite, again, is it could be if she was in a more masculine mode, networking might look more self-promotional. It might be a little bit more aggressive, trying to meet as many people as you can at the event or whatever. And sometimes that can be a little bit more transactional – let’s just get this done. And it’s less meaningful, right? There’s not so much connection there.

So really, feminine energy can be a major superpower in business. And this is one of my specialties, and I show women how to do this – and Makena too. And it is something that I’m really passionate about, because it just allows for a whole bigger spectrum to happen when you are a leader.

It’s just that sometimes what happens in certain cultures – and still in a lot of times, large corporations these days – it seems like the only way to win is by being kind of a little tough and detached.

So the question I have – women ask me sometimes – is, “How do you stay feminine and go into a company and be more feminine but also command respect?” You want to have the respect just like anybody else.

And so, one approach to do that is – it’s all about your presence and also your boundaries. Because when you have those boundaries, you won’t be a pushover, right?

When a woman speaks with this kind of calm certainty and listens deeply, what happens is, people take notice of her. Sometimes people think that talking a lot is the power, but often silence is the power. 

And I always give that example – you’ve got eight people at a boardroom. You have seven trying to get their way, and you have one person sitting back and listening. 

And when that person speaks, they have the power in the room. And the reason why is because they’ve collected information from the other seven people talking. They know what every person wants at that table. 

So when they speak, they can include everyone. They can say, “Jerry, I can see this is really important to you. Sue, I know you’re having challenges with this.” And so they become kind of like the conductor of this meeting. And that’s so much what the feminine ability allows for in business.

Also, when you know your values – it’s super important to know your values – because then you don’t have to try to prove anything. And also, in your communication, it will show. And in your actions, because what you’ll do is you’ll be consistent. So it’s like holding your word and showing up fully and leading with empathy. That builds so much respect over time.

The more a woman leads from that calm, grounded, feminine place and with consistency, the other thing is – people start to feel safe around her. And the reason why is that distinction between being reactive and being responsive. 

And those of you who are listening who’ve worked with me know that I always say, “Respond instead of react.” And we do this by being receptive. That’s by really sitting back and listening.

When we get triggered and we want to react, I say, “Count to ten.” Count to ten – one, two… that’s a long time, right? And then you respond instead of reacting. And what happens when you are like this over time – especially in your teams or in your business if you’re leading your business – is this predictability builds trust. Because people know, and they’re not scared you’re going to react some way.

And again, just going back to your values – it’s just so important to know those values and stick with them, because that integrity stands out. You’re not trying to prove yourself. You’re just doing, again, what you know in yourself is right.

And again, the feminine approach is really leading with empathy. And it’s very different than sympathy. Empathy is that being able to sit with someone, listen to them, and be present – really seeing people and getting what they say – and then responding. Instead of sympathy – listening to somebody and feeling sorry for them or going into that whole victim role and everything.

And what I find – and I know the women who’ve worked with me for years have found – is that when you run your business like this, your team members want to go that extra mile for you. And your clients stick around. They build loyalty because they know they can trust you. And your partnerships open up. Even in relationships – when you use these skills with your partner – you have much more deeper meaning and deeper connection.

So like I said, I’m talking about the feminine approach, but I also want to talk about how this works in the day-to-day leadership. And then I’m also going to talk about how it works if a woman is more in her masculine.

So if we’re in a more feminine-centered leader – same thing – if there comes a conflict, then what we do is we won’t rush to fix it or shut it down. Instead, a woman might pull her team together, she gives space for everyone to speak so everyone says something, she’s receptive – like we talked about – she really, really listens. 

But she listens in such a way not to agree, just to take in – like at the board table – what everybody’s saying. And that kind of leadership, what it does is again, it diffuses the tension. Because people feel heard.

And so much in life is – people just want to feel heard. It’s not even that they want somebody to agree with them. They just want to feel like they were able to say their piece, and no one resisted, and no one tried to tell them they were wrong.

So with decision-making, when we’re practicing more of a feminine approach to it, you gather the insights, and you trust your intuition. Women love to gather up. We like to gather up stuff. We like to gather up our insights and our intuition. And then when we have all the information and the real live practical things – when we’re using both sides like that – then we can make really powerful, informed decisions. And those decisions often can be directed toward the bigger vision in a company or whatever.

And even if it’s not a popular thing you choose, what happens is often a team will respect you because they still felt included. And they felt understood. And I cannot say how important that is – that people being heard makes them feel understood.

And same thing if she’s in one-on-ones with people and building relationship with them that way – a more feminine approach is you’re not just checking off the task, right? You’re really tuning in, you’re asking people really how are they doing, you’re offering guidance, you’re helping them grow. 

And that, I think, is such a beautiful thing with leadership, period – if it’s man or a woman – is that ability to really work with people in such a way to see what they want and to assist them through a more feminine approach to get what they want in a company or to get what they want in your environment or get what they want in your home.

And again, those small moments build a lot of commitment in a team.

So I’m going to give some examples that are of how kind of leadership compares to a more masculine approach in some of these situations – the same situations.

So if we go back to the team conflict, right? The feminine leader, we said, she brings people together, listens, creates that space, and she guides them to more understanding. So the masculine leader might jump in quickly and sometimes assign tasks right away – even, and this is not to make wrong – but sometimes maybe blame, right? And be more directive. Because they’re trying to move things forward quicker. Because this more collaborative way, in many ways, it takes more time, right?

And so it does feel like we’re wasting time or something.

The distinction here – and this is often when I work with men – is to show them that when we do both, we still have that “we gotta make it happen,” right? Because business – it’s all about – you do have to make it happen. And you can let it happen, as long as you’re making it happen.

Then, when they learn to listen to people and they learn to build that kind of relationship with their teams, even though it takes more time in the beginning, what happens is on the other end of it, it saves so much time. Because first of all, there’s less and less conflict in the company, there’s more trust, there’s more collaboration, people listen better.

And bottom line is this: people want to work somewhere where they feel good about themselves. If they always feel like they’re being directed and told what to do and nothing that they say matters, people get bored and they get complacent and they get resentful. And that shows up in their work.

So what happens more with the masculine style is, like I said, there are times for it, and it solves issues very quickly. But it can leave that resentment under the surface.

Or even with decision-making – while the feminine leader, she considers more of the collective stuff and more that long-term impact – a more masculine approach might be for, again, that speed, efficiency, and decision-making and hitting short-term goals. And they can be really effective. I mean, business ran like that for so long, right? But sometimes it misses that human side. And the human side is so powerful to take business to the next level.

When you do have that masculine push and the feminine collaboration and the connection with the people, then you really do have a whole business in the sense of – you can be so successful with both of those sides of things.

So both have value.

But when you lead from your feminine, you’re not sacrificing power – which a lot of times when we talk about femininity, and when I see things written about it online these days, it looks like that. It looks like being – flowy dresses sometimes, right?

You’re just creating a deeper, more lasting impact.

And so in that, that’s some of that. But I also want to talk about – sometimes it’s men’s way – the more masculine approach is also so, so, so important. And it’s so needed at certain times. 

So the masculine energy is absolutely essential. You know, it brings this clarity, direction, a sense of urgency when it’s needed. And truthfully, I have been in situations or seen companies where there’s not a lot of that. And often there’s not that energy again to make it happen.

And you have to have that. You can let it happen, but first, that foundation has to be built.

And like in high-stress situations too, where decisions have to be made really quickly, a strong masculine presence helps cut through the noise and take action without hesitation.

And I’m going to connect this with men. Something I love about men – that grounded approach of like, “No, let’s just do it this way.” It just brings in like, oh, okay – somebody’s going to make a decision, right?

It’s also so powerful for setting structure and holding those firm boundaries. And also, like I said, it drives results incredibly. And sometimes teams need that assertive, confident push to stay on track and to make a tough goal.

If I’m not being too soft, then a lot of times people just won’t listen. We need that like, “Hey, we have to go for this.” 

And then the collaborative part of, “How are we going to do this?” We can collaborate. Bottom line is – you’ve got to step up. You’ve got to be somebody you’ve never been before.

Strength is knowing when to lead with your feminine energy and when to lean into the masculine. Because truthfully, you have to have both in your toolbox or in your makeup kit. It’s not either/or.

It is about having that range and the wisdom, really, to know in those moment calls which one to use.

And so when women find this way to develop and balance those energies, it starts to create this beautiful self-awareness – really tuning into how they naturally show up and where they might lean too far in a direction. So when I’m talking about this, you might see, “Oh yeah, that’s me, I’m in Go Mode all the time.” Or you might see, “Oh no, I’m in that Flow Mode all the time. I’m constantly flowing, and I have no masculine energy.”

And it’s good – that self-awareness – to start to see that, so then you can play around with the different sides.

Building the feminine side means really embracing more softness without seeing this as a weakness – trusting your intuition and leading with empathy. There are so many great women leaders out there and women who I see that really lead from this place of embracing both of these. 

And they love men, and they work with men in such a way, but they still have very much of their feminine energy. And they have a way of navigating to where work is so much more fun for them, because they’re working on both sides and they’re more effective leaders.

And so strengthening the masculine side is about getting comfortable with that directness – setting those boundaries and taking decisive action. And it’s like a dance, really.

When I talk with my couples in Secrets of Power Couples, one of my taglines is The Dance of the Sexes – because honestly, when you start to learn and appreciate these two sides, especially in your relationship, and quit resisting them, it becomes this beautiful dance of energy.

And you might start a team conversation from a very feminine space. You can start it from listening and connecting. And then you can shift to something that’s much more masculine. You can go into clarifying your goals, making a firm decision. But you have that human side first.

And then it just… nobody has the blinders on. When we’re tapping into both sides, then we’re going to make, like I said, a much more informed decision – a much more powerful and right-on decision.

And I’m going to also show you how this works.

So let’s take leading a meeting again. Maybe you start with that more feminine space. You’re welcoming to everyone, you do a quick check-in and see how people are feeling. That sets the tone and the connection, and everybody feels heard, they feel seen. 

And then you shift to a more masculine energy by clearly outlining what’s the agenda for today and setting some time limits and keeping the group really super focused. And if things drift off topic, you bring it back with firmness – but not with force, right?

And then at the end, when you’re done with the agenda and going through whatever you had to set – the details, the goals, whatever – then you end up and you wrap back up into that feminine. Thanking everyone and maybe doing – for me, I always do acknowledgments, you all know – and acknowledging contributions and making people feel good about the experience they just had and about the conversation.

Because also, there are so many meetings people have in these companies. And I always think, oh my gosh, if I could go in – and I’ve taught a lot of companies, you know, when I went into JPMorgan Chase and Shell and companies like that – and I taught them how the women lead team meetings in such a way that we’re not just dragging down and sitting there for hours. 

And I created a bunch of – well, I say a bunch – several communication skills, like Get to the Point, Close the Loop, so people know how to communicate to be effective in meetings and keep the energy good, you know?

Because otherwise, they just drag out, right?

It flows back and forth. When we do this – feminine and masculine – there’s just much more of a flow. You can see that, and you can sense it when I talk about it, right? So when people walk away, they walk away feeling really seen and clear about what’s next. And they don’t have that resentment because maybe they didn’t feel heard.

And another example is if you’re launching, say, maybe a new product. And you’re tapping into more of your feminine energy – you bring the team together, you do the dream big process, you share ideas, you co-create the vision. You really do the masterminding and thinking, and you’re listening, encouraging, and making a space for everyone’s voice.

And then once you’ve got all your ideas, then we need to do something with this, right? So we have to put some kind of structure here. So then you shift to more of a masculine style, and you take that and you create the steps, you assign roles, you create deadlines, and you really set up how people are going to be accountable.

And you can see again – that’s such a beautiful approach.

Now, as a woman being feminine, I’m talking about these actions, but where you come from underneath is hugely important. Because remember in the beginning, I did say there are a lot of women – very feminine or look very feminine, very beautiful, gorgeous, soft, and their voices are even soft, but underneath the energy, there’s a push.

So part of this is when you do tap into the feminine energy, you are connecting more into your receptivity. And that’s the skill of women. It’s something that we do naturally. We do it with our children. We have the ability to sit back and really listen.

And if you’ve been in a company where everybody’s trying to get their way all the time, and you might’ve gotten into that too, then this will be uncomfortable to make that shift at first. But I promise you, if you start practicing it – you don’t just sit back and don’t say anything – but like I mentioned in the group, in the team, when there are seven people trying to get their way, you’re listening. Then you speak from a very informed place, right?

And so that’s just such a beautiful way to practice.

So I think that gives you some really good examples on how to navigate both of those energies in your business. And you can even do this in your home, in your friendships, in everywhere, right? And it’s so important not to resist either of these.

So the other thing I want to talk about is sometimes there – you might relate to this – there are women that are only in the Flow Mode. They’re very soft, they’re very receptive and intuitive, and they spend their life there. And they are in flow all the time.

And especially for women, it can sometimes turn into this avoiding structure, making decisions, or taking responsibility. And I have worked definitely with women like this before. And when they’re in their own business – and I’ve seen this several times in solopreneurs, maybe women that are starting out – they just want to feel their way through everything.

But here’s the thing about business: it has to have action, timelines, and clarity. There’s just no way around it. So when someone stays too much in the flow, projects can stall. 

And what happens is communication gets super vague, right? Nobody’s really saying the truth, and nobody’s really saying what’s real. And people around them might feel actually ungrounded and unsure because what happens is there’s a loss of direction. We don’t really know where we’re going.

And that’s the great thing about the more masculine approach – we know where we’re going. We’ve got our people – some people don’t like goals – but we have our vision, we have our game, we know what we’re doing.

So flow is super powerful for visioning. It’s powerful for creativity and connection. But without the container for structure and follow-through, it doesn’t go anywhere.

That’s the thing – it just stalls.

So how do we integrate the flow with structure in a healthy and empowered way? Because when – if you’re listening to this and you go, “Oh my gosh, I absolutely feel that because I’m constantly feeling my feelings” – but it’s like this emotional roller coaster, what I call it, because there’s never any grounding thing like, “This is what I’m going to do and I stick with it.”

So when a solopreneur leans too heavily, like I said, into that flow – especially early in her business – it can create a lot of inconsistency. And she might be following more inspiration – and people in my brand, you know, just follow your aliveness. So I’m saying, follow your inspiration. But what happens is if we do that too much and that’s all we do, then we might be starting ten different things, but we don’t finish anything.

Or she might be avoiding making tough decisions – you know, like I see this sometimes: setting the prices, creating clear boundaries in their business, marketing consistency – and this I say a lot, and also selling, right?

Because it doesn’t feel aligned at the moment. And so when we’re too much in flow, we actually make excuses for ourselves – “Well, that’s not in alignment with me.” And then the other thing is, it can be really avoiding structure, like I said.

So – no schedule, no clear goals, no accountability. And at first, the thing about this is – it feels super freeing. But over time, it actually – it’s counterintuitive – it leads to burnout and frustration because nothing really is moving forward in a focused way, and you just sit down and you don’t know what to do first.

And I know that as a creative – and I mean, I’m definitely not too much in flow anymore – but I remember a time where I was much more in flow.

So from the outside, it can also really confuse your clients and collaborators, because they might really – they love your energy, they love working with you – but if you’re always changing the direction or you’re not following through, then they won’t stick around.

So it’s important to see how to balance flow with more grounded leadership. And the key to that is just to create structure for your creativity. If you think about it – who thinks of that?

I always tell people when they tell me they want freedom, then I say, “Free schedule – schedule.” Create a schedule. And that creates freedom, because in your schedule, you can create lots of free time. But if you don’t have a schedule, and you’re just going to have free time, then people waste time.

So it’s so important to see – set a clear vision and non-negotiable goals, and then allow the freedom on how you want to get there. But you do have to have those goals, and you have to be accountable – so somewhere, right?

So you can do something like – you can plan your week from a space of really inspiration, but also with real goals, routines, something. If you have to sell your product or service – how many calls you’re going to make.

You’ve heard Makena talk about – she has the thing, the power hour – getting up and doing your power hour, which is outreach for your business every single day. And that starts to create a structure.

So Monday mornings, you could do something – you know, there’s also about blocking time, right? Monday mornings for strategy. And the afternoons are open to flow and then creation. And then you blend this, and it keeps this burnout from happening. And it also keeps the chaos from happening because you’re again working on both sides.

Because you have the structure, and then you also have the time for being more inspired or however you approach creating your business.

And then the last thing on this is there’s a flip side – when women lean, like I said, too far into masculine energy for too long.

And the bottom line to this – bringing it up – is it can really take a serious toll on your health.

Because you’re in Go Mode all the time – achieving, grinding – and what happens is when women are like this all the time, they disconnect from their bodies. And again, some of you that are listening probably can relate to this. They don’t really – they’re like, “Intuition? I don’t know my intuition. I only think from my head.” You know?

And they disconnect from their emotions, and they no longer feel or sense. And so what it does – it leads to this kind of fatigue or chronic stress, and also anxiety. And then a lot of the, I think, hormonal issues these days is women have just gone so far away from their bodies and their feeling – their bodies – and feeling sensual and feeling sexual.

And so in that, they lose that connection. And of course, in business, that energy – when we’re always being in Go Mode – starts to feel pretty transactional, and teams might feel the pressure, and it just doesn’t create inspiration.

So – and we talked a lot about that in the beginning of the podcast – and the bottom line, this is, it’s just not sustainable. 

I’ve worked with so many women, including Makena, who really burn themselves out this way. Even if they hit their goals, the cost is often just too high. There’s not really any enjoyment in that because they’re just working so hard. And then they make their goals, and it’s just like – and they have no pleasure or fun in their lives.

So, when a woman’s living in that kind of overdrive, you know, what can she do with the too-much masculine energy?

First is, when women come into our mastermind, they immediately start to see and sense how to step into more ease. Because, you know, I teach – a lot of our classes are around communication skills, around “What do you want?” – these things of having to stop and pause and look at you and reflect in you and just slow down and feel uncomfortable at first.

Because at first – here’s the truth – it’s so uncomfortable for women that have been in that Go Mode for so long. I can feel when I’m working with someone like that, they want to get to – like, get to the, get to the, get to – and I just slow it down. Because by slowing it down, what we’re going to do is all that discomfort’s going to come up. We’re going to move into a different energy where she can really start to see.

And that’s why women come into our retreats – because they have this week of stopping everything, reflecting, connecting with other women, and what great women – women that are like-minded – and all of a sudden, the vision they were trying to get, or the next idea, comes to them when they’re not trying to get it.

Yeah, and it’s so important when you’re in that Go Mode to have that time to reconnect with yourself and with your body and with that inner voice and listening to yourself. And again, that can look like just starting to, like I said, pause, take things slower, setting up boundaries for your time. Maybe saying no more often.

I see women are building their businesses and working so hard to be successful – and that’s so awesome – but then they just are drained because they have no, really, like I said, fun in their life.

And building into your life that rest is a non-negotiable. 

Because remember my quote: “When women deeply relax, they become wise.” We see what to do in our lives. We see how to take that next step. We see what to do about this person. We know what to do with our children.

So it’s not laziness – it’s actually where clarity and intuition come back to.

You can start to – if you’re in that Go Mode all the time – start to have a softer self-talk to yourself. Talk to yourself in a way like you would talk to your daughter. Allow for more creativity, and invite support. 

Whether that’s delegating – like we said – giving it to other people, allowing people to collaborate. When you allow people to collaborate, then you can really start delegating, because people want to help you. 

Or through getting it through mentorship. That’s how you can start to trust yourself more and shift from this hardness and strictness and everything to more flow.

So rebuilding trust with yourself – if you’ve been in Go Mode for many, many years – is keeping small promises to yourself. Because I do see women try this, and sometimes it takes a while. When I work with women, especially in the mastermind, we say, “Take the first 90 days and don’t be hard on yourself. You’re learning a new way of being, and it takes time.”

And when you do this, you can start to structure more about your time too and really say, instead of working on that project and then staying late at work, you say, “Hey, I’m allowing two to three hours today on this project. I’m going to get as much done as I can,” and you really keep your promise with yourself.

Then you’re going to go home and have dinner with your family.

So this is so important – to give yourself this permission for rest, for time off – and that consistency will… the strangest thing is you’ll start to feel like yourself again. Or maybe more like yourself than you ever have.

I have had women many times work with me and Makena and say, for the first time, they actually kind of – they feel like themselves. There’s not as much resistance. They’re connected to their bodies. They see what they want. They have more confidence.

And with other people, it’s just, like I said, showing up with more presence and transparency. And it’s no longer leading with that hard edge – softening the tone and listening more and being honest where you want to create connection, and really getting there.

And allowing people to be imperfect. Because that’s – often you’ll see a lot of perfectionism with the women that are in Go Mode. And instead, let people be real. And just be okay with where people are.

Even though I know it’s so difficult, because you see it could be done so much quicker and so much faster and so much better. And we talked about this on the mastermind this morning.

And also really take time to help people learn. That’s so important, because then your team can take on so much of the things that you are holding all the time when you’re in Go Mode.

And so what happens is, over time, from this really grounded authenticity, you’ll feel safe again. And what this does is it makes you more magnetic. It brings people in.

And this is… and I’ll just touch on this last point. 

Reconnecting with your femininity – it isn’t just emotional. And you know, like I’m talking about with the skills – it’s also physical, it’s visual, it’s energetic.

And when you’ve been in the grind too long, you might again have lost touch with your softness and your sensuality – how you carry your body and how you adorn yourself, how you make yourself pretty, right?

Tapping into that can – I mean, part of it, you know, always – I try to stay away… or, it’s definitely about the clothes too, but it’s more about how you feel beautiful. You know, what are the ways that you love to dress that just make you feel good and make you feel like yourself.

And it’s so important. This, for me too, is the movement of women. And finding places where you can move, like dance, walk slowly, and just be intentional with your touch and your presence. Then you will start to feel so different.

And a big thing is the slow down. When you start slowing down and really feeling yourself walk through a room, or feeling yourself when you go to work, then what happens is your awareness expands so much. And you will see so much more – how to run your business, or how to be better with your children, or how to be more connected with your husband.

Yeah, so I know this is a lot of information.

So the bottom line is this: it’s not about appearance alone. It’s not about just emotions. It’s about an inner shift. An inner shift of tapping into something that is so natural for you and something that’s really familiar. And through doing the things that I talked about earlier, you will start to feel that again.

Because true femininity – it’s felt. And it’s not just seen. 

People feel it when you walk into a room. They feel it when you talk to them. It’s in how relaxed your nervous system is and how open your heart is, and how present you are in a room and with people – how curious you are.

Because when you really tap into your feminine and you’re more feminine side of yourself, you’ll be deeply curious about people. Because people are fascinating. And again, our natural skill of being receptive and listening is such a beautiful skill.

And you can absolutely feel the difference.

So for a daily practice, here’s what to do:

Do things like pausing before reacting – right? So we respond. We can count to ten.

Letting someone help you without guilt. And this is one of the things I teach women – I call a game that women play, it’s called Jane Wayne, where they have to do everything themselves.

And, you know, I always tell women – let that man open that door for you.

When I was in Europe, I would always be carrying these big suitcases up and down the stairs. And a man would come and say, “Can I carry it?” And I would say, “Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I’m so happy there are still gentlemen around.” And he would love it, right?

Do something purely for pleasure with no outcome. Just go relax. Take time off. Climb in bed. Pamper yourself. Because those small moments retrain the nervous system to trust softness again.

And as a leader, you deserve it. And as a woman, you deserve it.

So thank you. Thank you, thank you. I know this was a long lot of me talking. I hope some of you can listen to it and get a little bit of value out of it.

And again, if you liked it, please go and rate us. And, you know, give us a comment. And I hope you take it out and practice it.

Thank you.