Makena: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Way of the Muse. I am Makena Sage, and this will be my last solo episode for a little while. I’ve been doing a little series here. 

Gigi’s been traveling, and she will actually be on with you next week doing a couple of solo episodes of her own. So, very excited about that.

I am going to share on a very different topic this week. 

We’ve been doing a little business series, which has been super fun, leading up to my Focus and Flow class, which I’m leading this weekend.

As we’re wrapping up that chapter right now, I want to talk about something very different, which is finding friends. 

Specifically, I’m really going to share a lot about my personal story of overcoming insecurity, which… I was very insecure when I was young, and navigating mean-girl situations that were very, very challenging.

Then, ultimately, finally finding my people. This is something that so many people that I talk to struggle with, and I have struggled with.

So, I want to share my story to let you know if there’s something you relate to, that you’re not alone in that. Then also want to share some of what’s really worked for me over the years and how I’ve been able to grow through certain situations and really find friends that share values and I feel deeply connected to. 

It’s one of, really, the richest parts of my life at this stage. So, my relationship, absolutely. And, of course, my business, and my family, and then my friendships. 

So really, it all comes down, I guess, to relationships. So, I’m very blessed, and I feel very rich in relationships.

Just to start out, I am a former homeschooled kid. Some of you may know that some of you don’t. I was homeschooled K through 12, so I never went to school until college. 

Most of my siblings were homeschooled as well, but I was the only one who was all the way through because of where I fell in the lineup, so to speak. Some of my siblings went to school until a certain time and then were homeschooled. Some were homeschooled up until a certain time and then started going to school. But I was… all the way through. 

We traveled a lot during my childhood, which was a really incredible experience. We would do long-term travel for two or three months at a time, often a couple of times a year. And in order to facilitate that, we were homeschooled and it really allowed us to have these incredible cultural experiences and learn languages. 

My mom was leading her seminars all over the world, and so we were getting to know kids through the seminars because we would host kids’ camps. I mean, we wouldn’t host them, but our parents would and our nanny at the time. 

And… so I want to paint that picture because I had a very unconventional upbringing where a lot of kids are in school and they meet their friends that way. I didn’t really have that. 

I had some friends, of course, but I really had to figure out the friendship thing. And it wasn’t just sort of there as finding friends that I went to school with. Now, it’s not to say everybody who goes to school makes great friends. I know that people struggle with all kinds of things at that. But I do want to share that I came to this from a unique place.

And by the time I was in high school, we were a little more settled, and my younger two siblings started going to school. They decided they wanted to finish out and actually go to school. At that point, I was home alone a lot more. Before, I had my siblings around all the time, and I really started to feel the need and the desire to have more consistent friendships.

At the same time, I was very insecure. I had a lot of insecurity because, again, a homeschooled kid living this unconventional lifestyle–when I was around other people my age, I just felt like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t really understand the dynamics. 

At the same time, I was an extrovert, though. I really love people. That’s true to this day. And so, I had this kind of two opposing forces. I had this deep insecurity and self-consciousness, but I also had this extroverted side that really wanted to get out with people, meet people, and know people. 

So, I had to get creative. And for a while, I met people through my siblings’ school. I would get to know people in their class and then through that, get to know people in other classes. I started getting invited here and there to parties or gatherings and meeting some different people. 

So, I had some good times in those days, enjoyed myself, and made friends.

But at the same time, especially looking back, I definitely didn’t feel like I found my people, so to speak. I still really felt like the odd one out. I didn’t 100% relate or didn’t feel like some people who just click with their friends when they’re in school or whatever. 

And some people don’t – I was really in that category of, I didn’t 100%, right? It was great to have people to hang out with, but there was something where we didn’t fully relate to or resonate with each other.

So, fast forward to – I’m about 20 years old; I took a gap year between high school and college and then finally decided to go to a four-year university in Rhode Island. I was living in Texas then, so I went to a very cold Rhode Island and studied international business.

And this was my first time ever in a school dynamic. So, as you can imagine–and I was also a little bit older than some of the other kids that were attending–it was a culture shock, not only because New England was a very different culture but also because I hadn’t dealt with those kinds of social dynamics.

So, there were… I mean, everything from mean-girl situations–and I use the word “mean girls” because a lot of people relate to that–but really, it was just drama with other women where they didn’t like me, or we didn’t get along, or whatever it might be. And there were sort of cliquey dynamics, and I didn’t really understand cliquey dynamics.

I was just very upfront and wanted to say it like you mean it. And I had to really learn and experience that not everybody was that way. And I’m sure I made my fair share of mistakes. I’m definitely not saying I was an angel by any means, that I was never malicious or anything like that, but I’m sure in terms of… I made plenty of faux pas in the social dynamics.

But that was really challenging. I really struggled with that. 

And the other side was dating, really starting to date, which I didn’t start to do until my late teens. And then, getting into college, I was dating more, and then there was all the drama around that–if you had a breakup, and just how to navigate that.

These are things that most people learn when they’re younger, I would say, but for me, it was a much later experience, which, in some ways, I’m grateful for. I feel like I sort of delayed some of the trauma, so to speak, but also, it was hard to navigate that as an adult and figure those things out.

So, I struggled a lot in those years with the social aspect of things. I was doing really well academically and excelling in that side of things, but personally, I was having a much harder time.

So, again, I made some friends and had some great times, but all in all, it was really challenging.

So, fast forward, I’m almost 24 when I graduate, and I end up moving out to San Diego–or actually to San Clemente, a little bit north of San Diego–because I took a job for about six months out of college. I was coming into the office, which was based in Southern California, to train, and then I was virtual.

So, I was living part-time in Southern California, and I met a guy and ended up moving down to San Diego by the end of that year. 

And at first, I was super isolated. I didn’t have a car. I didn’t have any kind of friends or support system here other than my boyfriend at the time.

And I was starting my first business–that was when I started my first business in December of that year. So, I was home alone, working a lot, and fairly isolated. 

At first, in terms of friendships, it was just, again, like, “Okay, well, who does my boyfriend know, or who can I kind of meet through people that I’m meeting? And it was very… what would you say? It wasn’t so intentional. It was just kind of like, who’s around?

And I feel like that kind of characterizes my friendships up to that point–it was just a matter of, like, who do I have access to? 

People who went to my siblings’ school, people who went to my university. In this case, friends of my boyfriend. And so, there wasn’t…

Maybe I didn’t have enough time freedom or, independence in terms of driving around and going to different things. Or maybe I just didn’t know how to really make friendships yet at that point with people that I really related to or connected to in a deeper way.

So, this was the season where it really started to change. 

I would say that 2013, 2014, in kind of that year after graduation, is when I started to connect with some other people. 

So, one friend, my closest friend, Amy, I met by chance through that friend group, and I had no idea we would become so close, but over the years, we really have. She’s still a dear, dear friend and lives close to me. Sunny and I both are very connected to her and her husband.

So, that was a huge blessing. 

And then I started putting myself out there. This is where the intentionality piece started coming in. 

I’ll share a few of the things that I did that worked. 

I went on “friend dates.” So literally, I would–I mean, I wasn’t using an app at the time; those didn’t really exist for that back then, so now there’s Bumble BFF and things like that, so that’s kind of cool. 

But at the time, I would just ask people, like, who do you know that you think I should meet? Or I might meet someone in passing and then ask if they wanted to get together, go for a walk, go for a coffee. So, I started going on these kind of like “friend dates.” 

And just like with dating, I had to date a lot of people to find the people that I really connected with.

The other thing that I started doing was pursuing more of my interests. So, I was really interested in personal development. It’s something I grew up around, and it’s always been a value of mine. And so, I started to attend different kinds of events and workshops and retreats around the topic of personal development and personal growth.

Some of you have heard this story. I shared it on a previous episode where I signed up for a personal development retreat–I believe it was the fall of 2013–and I had a strong intuition that I wanted to be there and needed to be there. It was in Northern California; I was living in Southern California in San Diego.

So, I went to this personal development retreat and just met the most amazing women. I was like, wow, these are the kinds of people that I want to be connected with. But none of them were from San Diego–they were from all over, other places, other parts of California.

And so, there was a point at the end of the retreat where we were given the opportunity to stand up and make an ask of the group, like share something that we wanted support with or resources, and then people could kind of come up to you and share if they had something for you. 

I stood up in front of 40 women, and I said, “I’ve had such an amazing time this weekend, and I would love to meet people like this–women like you–but I live in San Diego. Does anybody know anyone in San Diego you could connect me with?”

I got connected to three different people, and I went on kind of blind friend dates with those three different people, and two of them I’m connected to, to this day. One of them is a little less so, but she’s still in my extended community and was a wonderful connection for some time. And then another one that’s a very dear, dear friend.

That really showed me something: the power of being bold, the power of making an ask. 

And again, it is important to do things that you enjoy, like we always talk about on this podcast–following your aliveness and curiosity. So, for me, that was around personal growth and people who valued that. 

So, I did that, and I was bold, and I got up and asked, and then I followed through on those connections. And it led to some beautiful places.

In fact, the one that I’m not as connected with now, but she’s still in my extended community–she ended up inviting me to an event that she was hosting with another young woman about my age. I went and I attended–it was a little kind of day or weekend retreat type of thing. And that woman, the younger woman that I connected with through her, then started inviting me to different kinds of parties and gatherings that were being held in a different part of San Diego–it’s called North County, San Diego.

And so, through this grapevine, I started to meet really interesting people. I started to meet people that felt like, “Oh, these could be really close friends. These are people that have shared values and shared interests.”

And I met one other dear friend around that time through my sisters. They were in town, met him in passing, we went and had coffee, and we talked for hours. And he became one of my closest friends and is still one of my closest friends to this day.

So, this all started to sort of snowball, and it was this really beautiful experience because you have to imagine–I’m 25 years old at this point and have never had really close friends. 

I’ve had connections, I’ve had friendships, but never really had people that I was like, “Oh, they get me, and I get them, and I have such a blast with them, and they just accept me for who I am.” 

And that started to happen.

Interestingly enough, through these different avenues–the guy I met through my sisters, and then the parties and events I was going to–more people started to pop up. Then it started to sort of coalesce into this kind of closer-knit group and then a larger community. And that is a version of the community that I’m a part of to this day.

And there were some interruptions a little bit in that, which I’ll talk about in a moment, but that was all12 years ago. 

So, it’s been many, many years, and these are still some of my closest people in the world. I call them soul family, and it’s such a huge, huge blessing in my life.

So, some of the things I did in that time–again, pursuing my interests, being bold. 

And then the other thing I did was I started saying yes to everything for a while. 

This was something that Gigi actually told me to do. I’ll never forget it because I was very isolated, as mentioned, working all the time and just not really getting out there.

And Gigi–I remember talking to her, my mom, and saying, like, “Hey, I don’t know what to do.” 

And she said, “Why don’t you just say yes to every invitation for a while and just try it? You’ll end up at different things that you probably don’t really want to be at or don’t really feel like a fit, but you’ll also–it’ll lead you to some new experiences.”

And so, I did that. And I think if you’re in a season of really wanting to expand friendships and community, then you need to be willing to say yes to everything for a while if you can–or at least a lot more than you are now–and just try things because you never know where you will meet someone.

Speaking of kind of how all the threads come together, my dear friend Amy, whom I mentioned, came through a totally different path. Years later, I invited her up to kind of a yoga gathering that was happening in North County–we were both living down in San Diego at the time. And at that gathering, she met her now-husband, Peter. They’ve been together for about 10 years. They have a little baby.

And so, just all these beautiful interweavings, right? Now, she’s deeply a part of this community and these friendships that I have in Northern San Diego. 

So many beautiful synchronicities and connections.

Then, in 2018, I got the call–the internal, intuitive call–to leave San Diego, and Sunny and I decided to move to Austin, which is where I’m originally from. 

We were basically starting over there. After a few months, we started to meet some people. We thought, “Oh, these people feel like they have some shared values, and we connect with them.” And so, we started to build what we thought was our new community there. 

For about a year, it was a really fun, beautiful thing. We enjoyed connecting with them and started to grow. We kept in touch with our friends in San Diego, but we were really in this place of wanting a fresh start.

Fast forward to COVID times–basically 2020–and some dynamics started to shift in those friendships. They started to feel very cliquey. There was kind of this feeling that there was like… people were talking behind our backs, and we were being left out of things, and it was uncomfortable.

Eventually, in the fall of that year, we had a weekly girls’ night we were doing with the girls in Austin. And I decided to bring it up. I decided to confront it head-on and just say, “Hey, you know, I so value our friendships, and I so appreciate you all. And, you know, I’d love to know if there’s something going on so we could just really address that head-on.”

And they proceeded to–there was a circle of girls, and with the exception of a couple of them, they all proceeded to go around and tell me everything they didn’t like about me or didn’t resonate with about me. And, little things–nothing huge–but little things that had, with me, irritated them or upset them at some point that they just never even told me or brought up, so it really festered, and there was never the chance for repair.

And it’s hard to describe the experience. Still, it was basically all my worst fears come true–of being the outsider, of not fitting in, of not being liked, all of those things–and in a very visceral, real experience of this circle where they’re all just sharing this with me.

And there wasn’t any room for repair or for, “Hey, you know, maybe if you did this, we could, you know, whatever.” 

So, by the end of that circle, I was hysterically crying. It was extremely challenging and traumatic, frankly.

And in the weeks that followed, I tried to follow up with people and understand more and see if there was any room to fix things, but they really didn’t give me any room to do that. 

And so, I went through a really hard time.

And this is something that’s vulnerable to share about openly, but really important to me. It took me a long time before I started sharing about it because I wanted to make sure I had healed from it and I was coming from a balanced place and not making anybody wrong. 

I never shared who the people were–that’s all far in the past, and I’ve forgiven. But it was a really difficult experience.

We were basically pushed out of that friend group. And, I really started to see that there were a lot of just, again, cliquey dynamics and different things going on there.

I will say there were certain things they brought up that I was like, “Oh, okay, that’s something I can work on.” And I looked deeply into those things. 

So, I took the learning opportunity and the self-reflection opportunity from that. And I’m very grateful for it all now. I’m actually very grateful for the whole experience now. But it was extremely difficult at the time.

It was COVID, too, so we were all basically at home–and I just went deep inside myself. And I would say I was pretty depressed for a while, and I couldn’t really talk about the experience. I shared it with a couple of people, but I could barely talk about the experience without crying for a full year. It took a year before I started to feel like, “Okay, I can sort of navigate this a little bit more and talk about this.”

So, I share this because I decided about a year later to write a post on social media about it–again, not naming any names and taking what I felt was a really balanced approach–but just sharing that I’d had this experience and how difficult it was, and that I wanted to bring these kinds of things to light because so many women go through it, and we just don’t talk about it.

And I’m saying women, but I’m sure men have their own versions. I just happen to see it  more often with women.

And when I wrote this post, it struck a chord. I had hundreds of comments on it and women just sharing their own experiences, and it really, like, touched on something for people. 

So, I realized this is something I want to share openly, and it’s also a really big value of mine not to have people have those experiences.

Inclusivity and respect have always been a big value of my mom’s and also myself–but it really cemented there that I was like we need to treat each other better and be more abundant with each other and create room for repair and not have these sort of cliquey dynamics or gossip behind people’s backs and things like that.

And so, that was really a big driver. I was already in my coaching business at the time, but it became an even bigger driver for me and what we do and the kinds of groups and communities that we create. 

So, in our programs, like our mastermind or our online programs, when we lead them, or retreats, we are very committed. My mom has always been very committed to fostering deeper connections with women and creating a safe space where people don’t feel left out and where people are open with each other.

So, that’s something that women comment on when they come and work with us, or they come to a retreat. They’re like, “Wow, just the level of connection and depth and acceptance is unlike anything I’ve experienced anywhere else.” 

And that’s a lot of the women in our mastermind, too. It’s one of the things they comment on or share with us the most. It’s like, “It’s so great to have a community like this where I can show up, where I can get real and get vulnerable about not just what’s going on in business but what’s going on in my personal life.”

So, I share that because, yeah, just because it’s become a really big value of mine, even more so than it was before.

The other aspect of this is that when I went through this, it brought up some of my deepest insecurities and some of my biggest fears–of being an outsider, of not fitting in, which I know is not just me–many people have this fear or this kind of trigger, I had to really face into that.

There was a time where I really didn’t like myself for a while. I really kind of took on everything they said and sort of believed it and went deep, deep into some dark places. 

But the amazing thing–and I really credit the tools that I have access to, and my mom’s support, and my family’s support, and Sunny’s support, and lots of coaching and lots of support to navigate this–is that I ended up coming out the other side of that experience so strong. So strong in myself with so much self-love, interestingly enough. 

It’s like I went to the depths of self-loathing, and I went through it, and then on the other side, I came to just deep self-acceptance. 

Like, “Okay, I know myself. I know my flaws. I know where I mess up. And I also know my heart’s in the right place. And I’m a great person, and the right people know that and see that. And I’m committed to finding those people.”

So, with that, and with that level of healing, I eventually started to make some great friends in Austin. 

And then, we were there for another, I’d say, two years or something like that. And then the call started to happen–the inner pull again–that it was time to leave and to make a transition.

And we felt called to come back to San Diego, which I had not thought would happen. And we found our way back. And fortunately, those amazing friendships that we made here that felt like family, many of them were still here. Most of them were still here, and that community had grown and ebbed and flowed and shifted a bit, but we were welcomed back in with open arms, and it was like we’d never left.

And now, many of our friends are having kids and raising families of their own, and we just have this really rich experience here where there’s no cliqueyness about it. It’s very open. Other people kind of come in and out. We have, of course, kind of the core closer group, but there’s just so much love, respect, and showing up for each other.

And as mentioned, it’s one of the great joys of my life.

So, in all of this, I just want to share. I mostly told my story today, but I just want to share, again, a few of the things that I feel have made the biggest difference and what I’ve learned about friendship in all of this so that you can hopefully take a nugget or two if you are in the place of maybe you have a couple of close friends, but you’d love more, or you’re really struggling in the friendship department–wherever you sit with that right now.

Again, pursue your interests and follow your aliveness. That will really lead you to people that–this is true for dating too–are more aligned and right and who share similar interests or curiosities.

You may have a season of saying yes to everything for a while or saying yes to as many things as you can.

Find people with shared values. This is really big. I realized shared interests are different than shared values. Our friends in Austin had a lot of shared interests. We appeared on the surface level to have shared values, but when we dug a little bit deeper, our true core values were quite different.

And so, that was something really important to me moving forward, was to really gauge if someone was going to be a close friend–do we share certain values in the way we feel about friendship, in the way we feel about people and respecting people or showing up for people? Like, you want to have people that align with you there as much as possible.

I believe in having a variety of different kinds of friendships too. I like to really have that core group, and then I love to get out and meet different kinds of people. 

So, I’m not saying it all just needs to be the sort of one couple of close friends or this core group. You can have all kinds of people in your life–people who share different views and different values. I think that’s really important and really great, because it challenges you, it stretches you–that’s awesome.

And in your close, close friendships, it’s just an easier thing, I would say. There’s more ease, there’s more flow when you do have some shared values there.

If there are cliquey dynamics–this is my personal belief now, or my personal stance–I run the other direction, basically. And I’m saying that jokingly, but really, I don’t–I’m not a stand for that. I’m not about that. If I start to feel that dynamic, I’m just like, this probably isn’t really for me, or I can be loosely connected to people who have that, but it’s just not really the dynamic that works for me.

Another thing I’ve really learned over the years is to bring stuff up. So, don’t let things fester. If you start to feel like something’s off, just bring it up with a friend. It’s uncomfortable; it can be difficult. But I have one friend here in San Diego–I admire her so much about this. She just, like, says the thing if something’s going on with one of our friends, she just approaches them. She’s like, “Hey, what’s going on with this? Like, let’s talk about it.” And she just goes for it.

And there’s something about that–she’s not really charged about it–that it frees everybody up. It’s like it brings it to light. So, that’s a really great one: don’t let things fester. Have the courage to bring them up because it will lead to a deepening of the friendship, if it’s the right friendship and meant to be. 

Whereas, if you don’t, then things just build up over time, and they’re under the surface, and that just gets very gunky and weird.

Another thing is that building great friendships and community takes time. And this is something that I think some people struggle with because, especially if you grew up in school and friends were just there, or you made friends through your work, and maybe you’re in a season where you don’t have that as easily accessible–some people, I think, just think it should be easy and it should just be there, that friendships should just happen.

But the truth is, it takes time. It takes investing time. It takes showing up for people as the kind of friend you would want to have. Deepening over time–you do want to put that effort in. It’s not always going to be as effortless as maybe it was when you just had people around that you were seeing day to day.

And there are also seasons in life. So, I see this–I’ve seen it with myself; I’ve seen it with other clients, friends, family–that there may be times when you’re a little less connected. And it doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. If you really want more friendships, then you want to put the effort in–that’s great–but maybe there are times when that’s not as high on your priority list.

And those are great times to deepen your relationship with yourself or your family or stay connected to those friends you’ve known for a long time. And even if you talk on the phone once a week or something like that, you can set up regular connection points so you’re not isolated.

Because isolation is one of the worst possible things for our health. If we isolate ourselves for too long, it’s one of the biggest predictors of longevity–is having connection and community. So, I wouldn’t say put it off for too long, but know that if you are in a season where that’s just a lower priority or not possible and you’re really focused on something else, whether that’s building your business, raising a family, then that’s okay. Make peace with that if that’s what you’re choosing, and then just know that there can be another season that comes.

And then the final thing I want to say is that the desire to be loved and accepted by others is, from what I can tell, a part of the human condition. It’s built into us on, I’ve got to say, like, a genetic level or something like that. It is something that is so intrinsic to what it is to be human–and not just human. I mean, many animals and creatures, right? We want to be connected. We want to be in the sort of tribe, so to speak.

So, really knowing that if you’re feeling that way, you’re not alone in that. And if you’re feeling, again, isolated, or you feel like an outsider, you’re not the only one who experiences that and goes through that. 

And even the people who appear to have it all together and have all the friendships and the community and whatever, everybody’s got their insecurities. Everybody’s got their stuff.

So, there’s something to having that connection, absolutely. And there’s also something to the inner game, so to speak–to really looking at where things come up for you and coming to a place of self-love and self-acceptance and the willingness to, even if you’re not accepted by others, to love yourself anyway.

And that is so much easier said than done–I know, I’ve been there. But it is something to keep in mind, and to take baby steps and get the support that you need. 

Get therapy, get coaching, get whatever it is that supports you to really continue to foster that deeper and deeper level of self-love and self-acceptance so that, then, the friendships add to that. They add richness to your life, but it’s not like trying to fill something–a hole in yourself. It’s really, again, adding to that.

And it’s the same thing for dating and relationships, right? As much as possible–it’s not always going to be 100% possible–but we want to really love into ourselves, and then that person can come and add to the experience.

So, those are my words of wisdom–hard-earned wisdom–for you today. Or at least, my experience and what I’ve seen has worked for me. So, hopefully, you took a nugget away, something you can apply.

And we’d love to hear what that is. You can always write to us at support@wayofthemuse.com. If this were helpful for you, we’d love to hear that and hear from you. 

And if you have any questions, feel free to write those in as well, or any topics you want us to cover on a future episode.

So, I will see you very soon. Have a wonderful weekend and week, and I’ll see you next time.

Makena: Hello everyone, and welcome to our third episode in the mini business series that we’re running right now. 

A couple of weeks ago, we talked about The Simplified Six-Figure Business Strategy For Heart-Centered Entrepreneurs. 

Last week, we discussed The Multiple Six-Figure Roadmap–How To Break Through Your Income Plateau So You Can Really Grow.

And this week, we’re going to get a little more specific. We’re going to get dialed into how do you find clients. 

This is one of the top questions we get from clients during business coaching: How do I find clients without posting 24/7 on social media or without running paid ads?

Now, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with either of those strategies if they work for you. But many of the people who work with us either don’t necessarily want to do that, or they’ve tried it, and it hasn’t worked for them. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

I want to start by saying that my mom and I–Gigi, who’s my cohost on this podcast–love helping women grow successful businesses. Many of our clients are also in careers, but the majority are entrepreneurs. This is really a passion of ours, and it’s a big part of my purpose because I believe that the more money women make, the more good they do in the world.

This is something I’ve seen again and again. Of course, it’s a generalization, but I’ve noticed that when women start earning at a higher level and have more financial and time freedom, they pour back into their families and loved ones. They ignite their own creativity and innovation. They get excited. They donate to causes they believe in. Ultimately, they make the world a better place.

So, in my book, money in the hands of women is a very, very good thing.

The problem, though, is that about 95% of the women entrepreneurs–or aspiring entrepreneurs–that I talk to are confused and overwhelmed. 

So, why is that? Well, they’re bombarded, as we all are, by a million different messages about how to grow their business, about what it takes, about what strategy they should be using. And they also might have a lot of ideas of their own, but then they’re not sure where to start. 

So, enter: confusion and overwhelm.

So, today’s episode is really–I want to talk about some things that I’ve learned in my 12 years plus as an entrepreneur now. I’ve run two successful businesses in that time and helped a lot of other people build their own businesses. 

So, I want to share a little bit about what, in my experience, you don’t need to find clients and to grow your business.

And then, as a direct result of that, we’ll talk about what you do need, or what I’ve found to be really, really effective.

Now, what I’m talking about is more for early, earlier-stage businesses. I would say, as you grow, then you might diversify into some of these areas. So, what I’m going to share here is a little bit more geared toward earlier-stage businesses.

But I will say that a lot of these are true even as you’re scaling. So, I really thought, at one point–I remember, I was making six figures plus for many, many years. And then I started slowly to grow when I stepped into coaching and then got to multiple six figures.

And I got to this certain point of multiple six figures plus where I was like, “Okay, I feel like I’ve reached the point that I can reach with the way that I’ve approached it. And I must need more fancy marketing at this point, right? It’s like, how do I add fuel to the fire?”

And so, I went out there and hired ads experts, and I tried a whole bunch of different marketing strategies and poured a lot of money into that type of marketing. And it’s not that it didn’t work at all. We did get some clients that way, but in the end, when I looked at it all after a couple of years, I really saw that maybe we had broken even or something like that. And it was a lot of time, and a lot of work, and a lot of energy. 

Now, I’m not saying that’s everyone’s story. But I will say that when we started to grow again, it came from doubling down on the things we’re really good at.

And so, it didn’t come from a whole bunch of fancy new things. 

Now, there are exceptions to this. There are times when you need or want to learn a new strategy. 

But the most important thing here is that you put everything through the filter of: Is this really a fit for you? Is this a fit for you? what you’re curious about? what brings you alive and makes you magnetic?

And it’s not that everything you do in your business is going to bring you alive and make you magnetic, but we are all unique snowflakes, as Gigi puts it. She says, “We’re all unique snowflakes.” 

And so, in that, there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all.

So, even everything I share with you today, I want you to feel into it, right? Run it through your own filter–not so much from your mind, but from your heart, your soul, your deeper knowing, your intuition–whatever you want to call that.

So feel into: Okay, does this resonate for me? Does this fit for me? And that’s such a valuable skill as a business owner. 

Because how do you start to cut through the confusion and overwhelm? You learn to listen inward, and you learn to run something through your own checks, right?

So, when I see something online, someone says, “This is the way to do something, or, I believe this, then I can feel into that and go, Does that feel true for me?”

And sometimes something might trigger me, and then I realize, like, “Ooh, maybe there’s room for me to grow here. Maybe there’s room for me to expand my perspective.”

But in general, though, I can fairly quickly now see, like, “Oh, does that strategy or that approach or that coach resonate with me, or does it really not feel like the right fit intuitively?”

So, that’s a whole lot to share as kind of a precursor, but I do want you to keep some of these things in mind as we go through today.

It’s also why we don’t teach a whole lot of strategy in the coaching that we do. We teach–it depends on the stage of business. I would say for the earlier stage of business, we do teach some skills. There are some really important business skills for you to learn.

And then really, we support people to come to their own clarity, right? To see what’s really right for them. Then take these skills–and maybe there are some different strategies we teach or other people teach–and then to really find what’s the right one and to go for it.

And so much of this is about your own clarity, your own focus and determination, your excitement for what you do, and really putting yourself out there.

So, here’s what you don’t need to find clients and grow your business. I’m going to tell you 10 things, and I actually came up with this while writing an email that’s going out to our list soon. So maybe a small number of you have heard this already, but we’re going to go deeper here.

First, you don’t need paid ads to grow your business or to find clients. 

It’s not to say, again, that there aren’t people for whom this works great. There are many people who use paid advertising, especially at a certain stage in business–which is quite large.

When you’re in the seven- to multiple-seven-figure range, then at that point, we’re talking about real scale, and that’s where things like paid ads can often start to make more sense. There are people who are smaller and who are successful with paid ads, but it’s a whole rabbit hole.

And for most people who work with us, it’s not the strategy they lean into. The main point I want to make here is that you don’t need paid ads. You don’t need them to build a six-figure, a multiple-six-figure business, or even a seven-figure business.

Many of our clients have seven-figure businesses without paid advertising. 

That’s number one.

Number two: You don’t need a social media manager. 

Now, there may come a point at which you choose to hire one. But a lot of people think they need this way before they actually do. And that can be a huge expense.

When we really look at how many clients are coming in from social media, oftentimes, that number is fairly low. So, you don’t need somebody that you pay to manage your social media. You can keep your social media pretty simple.

In fact, that leads me to number three, which is that you don’t need to post daily on social media necessarily. There’s so much content out there these days. You’re going to have a hard time standing out just by volume–just by posting a lot on social media. But a lot of times, that’s what people think they need to do.

Now, of course, the algorithms do like it if you post more often. But again, you need to take this in the larger context of your strategy and go, Is social media a big part of the strategy that I feel fits for me?

If it is, then you might want to align yourself behind it and really go for it. And social media is a broad term. If that’s true for you, you probably want to pick a particular platform and really double down on that–really learn that platform.

There are definitely people out there, again, that are doing this, that are building the large majority of their business through social media. But many of the people who end up coming to us, it’s not their primary desire. And many people are building very successful businesses with little to no social media.

So, I just want you to know that that’s possible, if that’s the right fit for you.

Okay, number four: You don’t need a fancy branding photoshoot. 

Now, I am the queen of photoshoots, as some of you know. I love, love, love to do creative, professional photoshoots. I’ve been doing them for many, many years, starting way back when I would just trade or do different things to be able to afford them.

And over the years, I’ve progressed to being able to invest in those photoshoots. But I love them. I do multiple shoots a year.

But I don’t need them to grow my business. It’s something I do because it’s something I’m passionate about and it’s fun. And sure, it gets attention. People take notice, and they think it’s beautiful or creative or whatever they think. But it’s not the thing that really drives my business or moves it forward.

So, you can totally have a successful business without any fancy paid photoshoots. You could do videos that you make yourself. You could go out with a friend and get some pictures done. Or again, you don’t even need social media at all.

Just keep in mind that this is not a necessity in order to grow.

Number five: You don’t need an expensive website. 

For that matter, you may not even need a website at all. And a lot of people balk at this one when I first say it.

But the truth is, a website is like a business card for most entrepreneurs. It’s something that’s nice to have, and it’s great to have a place that people can go to find out a little bit more about you and how to contact you. So having something there can be good.

But it really doesn’t need to be fancy. It really doesn’t need to be that until a later stage of business. And then, if you want to do that–if you want to invest the time, money, and energy into that–great.

Most people put way too much attention and money and energy into their branding, their website, their photos, early on in their business when the truth is, they’re just not there yet. It’s just not time for that yet.

And when the time comes, you’ll know it. You’ll have an abundance of clients. You’ll have a lot of business coming in, and you’ll feel like, “Ooh, the simple page I have up doesn’t match with the brand or the business I’m running anymore.”

These days, you can do something so simple with a template. You don’t need to have something professionally designed. You can go on Squarespace or any of these build-it-yourself website platforms, find a template you like, and put up a simple page with an “About Me,” a little bit about your offerings, and a “Contact Me.”

It’s very, very easy, and you don’t need to spend a lot of time on it.

All right, number six: You don’t need, quote-unquote, “passive online programs” to find more clients and grow your business. 

This is something that, when people tell me, I want to build passive income through my online programs, I just have to pause because I’ve been in this industry my entire career–all 12 years.

I was on the marketing side of things first, and then I came over to the coaching side. So, in those years, I have been behind the scenes of lots of different businesses ranging from early stage to multiple seven figures and beyond. And I’ve run my own business for many years now in this space.

And what I’ve seen is this: Online programs are not passive. They can bring in money while you sleep–that’s true. But the engine that it takes to bring clients in who are purchasing those programs on a continuous basis is far from passive. In fact, it takes a lot of time, a lot of energy, and sometimes a lot of team, depending on how you do it.

There’s really not much that’s passive about it, other than the fact that when that credit card goes through–cha-ching!–you might be in bed at that particular moment. But during the day, you’re probably working pretty hard at filling those programs.

So yes, if you don’t want to do a lot of actual coaching or fulfillment or working with people, it’s something you may want to consider as you get further along in your business. Once you have enough clients, it might save you time.

For example, we do have online programs now that are self-study, or a mix–where people can go through the program on their own, but they can also get some hours of coaching with me or with us. That works really well.

But just keep in mind, you don’t need passive online programs to grow. And in fact, most people who try to do this too early in their business don’t find it to be the most effective way to grow.

All right, number seven: You don’t need a huge audience to find clients or to grow a successful business. You really don’t. 

Of course, that’s one path, but I know many people who build huge audiences and then don’t have paying clients.

These are audiences that are used to free content, let’s say. A large audience does not necessarily mean someone is making good money. So in terms of having a sustainable business, the two don’t always go hand in hand.

Now, of course, it’s helpful if you have a larger audience, especially if it’s the right kind of audience, and they’re trained to purchase and invest with you. That’s a whole other conversation. 

But just know that you don’t need a huge audience to create a six-figure, multiple-six-figure, or even seven-figure business.

Number eight: You do not need a pushy sales process. 

So, when I tell people they need to learn sales in order to have a successful business–especially for early-stage businesses–a lot of people balk.

And they balk because they think about pushy sales tactics. They think about the used-car-salesman kind of cliché or other experiences they’ve had that have been negative sales experiences. 

But I want you to think about this: Have you ever had a really great sales experience?

Have you ever truly enjoyed buying something or being assisted by a salesperson to purchase something? I hope you have because there are some amazing salespeople out there, and it can be a really beautiful experience.

Think about it: Have you ever had an experience where someone truly understood what you needed and helped you find a solution? Maybe they supported you in moving through your fears, and you were happy to make the investment. And later, you were even happier that you did.

I hope you’ve had that kind of experience. If you haven’t, then there may be some rewiring to do here. But just know: You do not need a pushy sales process.

There’s a way to sell that’s heart-centered, authentic, and never pushy or salesy.

Number nine: You don’t need a mile-long to-do list in order to find clients and grow your business. 

In fact, simplification is the key here. It’s the key to growth.

So many people are just busy–so busy–with a lot of things that aren’t actually getting them results. This is one of the top things I support people with: narrowing down, zooming in on what really, really works for you.

What is going to move the needle?

So, you don’t need to have a million things on your to-do list. Or if you do, you get to them later–once you’re bringing in a lot of business, once you have a lot of clients coming through.

It’s a trick that our mind plays on us. It says, Oh, I’m already so tired and so busy, I don’t have time to do more. But the truth is, it’s not about doing more–it’s about doing the right things.

And finally, number ten: You don’t need to fully overcome your fear and self-doubt. 

This one might surprise some of you.

With women entrepreneurs especially, I see this is a huge stumbling block: fear, self-doubt. 

Thinking, I don’t know if I have what it takes. Why would anyone listen to me? Why would people invest at that level? Will they invest at that level? Can I provide value?

So many different versions of this. Or, I don’t really want to put myself out there.

So, if fear and self-doubt come up for you, here’s the perspective shift I want to share: It’s normal, and it’s not going to go away.

Of course, it will diminish over time. It will reduce. The more practice you get at something, and the more you put yourself out there, the less fear and self-doubt you’ll have. 

But so many people are sitting around waiting for their fear and self-doubt to magically disappear before they take action. And it just doesn’t work that way.

You take the action. You walk with your fear. And over time, the fear starts to diminish. Over time, the self-doubt starts to lessen. And one day, you wake up and think, Oh, I feel pretty confident at this!

But then, you grow in some other area, and all that fear and self-doubt comes up again. Because whenever we’re going outside of our comfort zones, fear and self-doubt are a part of the process.

Okay, so we’ve covered a lot in a short period of time here, but I did want to give that high-level overview because even though there is a time and a place for some of these–and every business is different, like we talked about–the truth is, there is a much simpler path to the growth and financial freedom that you want.

And so, I’m going to share what that is now–kind of my high-level overview. I’ve touched on some pieces of it, and this is really–you know, I’m making this broader about growing your business, but it is also about finding clients.

So, I’m going to break down for you: What do you really need to do to find clients without posting on social media 24/7 and without–what was the other one?–oh, paid ads.

All right, so number one: Eliminate distractions and busy work. 

This is where you really want to zero in on what is really going to move the needle to get you results. Then you want to focus 80% of your time and energy there–whatever time and energy you have available to work on your business–and then watch the magic happen.

What do I mean by this? Most people are spending 80% of their time doing things that are bringing in maybe 20% of their results. 

This is the 80/20 principle–I believe it’s called the Pareto principle.

That doesn’t work that well, but it’s what we get caught up in doing. We don’t take a step back to really ask, What really moves the needle here? Or, What is going to move the needle?

And you might have to test some things and try some things to see. But you want to eliminate as many distractions as possible.

When I was really stepping into coaching–and Gigi, my mentor and business partner, started mentoring me–she had to work with me so much on this because I was the kind of person who was all about the to-do list.

It’s not that I loved my to-do list; it’s just that I wanted to check everything off. I wanted to have all my ducks in a row, have everything organized, everything beautiful, everything perfect. 

I was definitely a perfectionist.

And in that, I would spend so much time on all these things that weren’t actually moving my business forward. And Gigi said to me, “You have to get out there and focus 80 percent of your time on getting out in front of people, talking to people, and doing activities that are actively going to bring in business.”

And then, you’ll start making money to a point where you can hire support and get a team, and a lot of things become possible when your business is growing and money is moving.

That was a big wake-up call for me, and it took me a long time to learn this lesson. I still have to remind myself sometimes. 

But anytime I have a to-do list, I flip it and I go, What are the income-generating activities? What are the things that are going to get me connected to people? And those are the most important things. Everything else comes secondary.

I want to say that I’ve had very successful clients–clients who have built very successful businesses–starting with just 10 to 15 hours a week.

Sometimes, people say to me, “I don’t know how I’m ever going to do this. I’m working a full-time job.” And yeah, it’s going to be a lot when you’re working a full-time job to put in that 10 hours or whatever it might be for you each week.

But that’s the starting point. You do that for a while, and you start to build up your results. Then, maybe you’re in a position to go part-time or to move out of that job and into something else that’s part-time and then eventually transition completely. 

Or maybe it even happens faster than that.

So, just know that eliminating distractions and busy work is going to save you time. And also, you can build your business–or at least get the first stage of it off the ground and running–and it doesn’t need to be a full-time thing.

Number two: Once you’ve eliminated distractions and busy work, you want to create your client cultivation flow.

So, what is a client cultivation flow? 

This is what I call the process that you take people through–from meeting someone, let’s say, at a party or a networking event or even online, or somebody introducing you to them–to actually enrolling them as a client.

There is a flow to this, and there should be a flow to this. In the sense that, it’s very rarely just going to happen instantly. And it can, especially as you grow and have more of a reputation, but in the beginning, and for most businesses at those early to medium stages, there needs to be a process in place where you’re warming people up.

Where you’re getting to know them, they’re getting to know, like, and trust you, and you’re taking them through a process. 

It’s not just willy-nilly, kind of made up in the moment.

This is one of the big things we teach our clients–how to create that client cultivation flow so you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re not floundering. You’re not losing people.

Here’s the analogy I always use: Imagine a bucket. 

This is the bucket where your clients and money are going to come into. You’ve got this beautiful bucket, and you’re so excited. Hopefully, you didn’t spend too much time on the website for the bucket, but it’s beautiful; you’re ready, and you’ve got your services and offerings.

You go out there, and you think, “I need to get in front of more people.” 

So you go to networking events, or you use whatever strategy you’re using, and lots of people are coming into this bucket in the sense that you’re meeting people, and you think, “Oh, these would be great clients.”

But somehow, you’re not actually getting clients or making money. And you’re like, This is so weird. I need to meet more people. So you do–more and more people are coming into your bucket. 

And occasionally, you get a client, but mostly you’re not.

And you’re like, “What is going on here?”

In this story, you look at the bottom of the bucket, and you notice there are holes in it. 

This is what happens when you don’t have a client cultivation flow in place.

You’re bringing a lot of people in, potentially–and hopefully, you are–you’re getting in front of people, and you might even have opportunities to have conversations with them. 

But because you don’t have this flow in place, they’re leaking out the bottom of the bucket.

When you have a client cultivation flow in place, you know how to guide people through this process. Some people will still leave because it’s not a fit for them or it’s not the right time, but many more will stay in the bucket and have a beautiful experience working with you.

Okay, so that’s a little bit about what that’s all about. 

You want to eliminate distractions and busy work, and then you want to have a clear process in place–a client cultivation flow that really works. It’s something that’s proven but also customized to fit you, your personality, and your industry.

Then–Only then, once you have the leaks filled in your bucket, do you go out and start looking for clients.

And here is where I want to say: you start by focusing on your network and your extended network first. 

So, what does that mean? This doesn’t mean you have to go sell to your close family and friends. That’s not what I’m talking about. But think about it–you probably know a lot of people who are not your closest people.

If you drew circles on a piece of paper, you have your inner circle–your very, very close friends or family. And then you have a circle outside of that, which would be, let’s say, more extended friends. And then, you have a circle outside of that, which would include, I don’t know, people you went to college with but aren’t in touch with anymore.

People from other jobs. People you met that one time at a party. So, you have a bigger network than you probably think. If you went through your social media accounts, your phone, all these different places, you’d be like, “Oh, I actually know a fair number of people.” Maybe not well, maybe you haven’t talked in a while–and that’s where the client cultivation flow comes in.

This is where you can use different ways of approaching people to spark a connection again and see if it’s going to go anywhere. But there is so much opportunity waiting in the wings of your network.

In fact, I usually tell people–and this is absolutely true in my experience for most people I work with–let’s say, eight out of ten people I work with have at least six figures to multiple six figures of revenue sitting in their warm network. And that might even be a very low estimate.

But I would say they could build a six-figure to a multiple six-figure business purely through their warm network–at least six figures, at least for a time.

Because then, through that, they’re going to be working with those people. And then those people are going to refer others. So, it grows.

You don’t need to get out there and do a ton of stuff just to get in front of a ton of new people. Instead, it’s about doing things like having catch-up calls or coffees with people, maybe hosting small gatherings or events, making lists of people, and being really strategic about connecting with them.

But not connecting with them to try to sell everyone something, because nobody wants that. Nobody wants to come to your gathering and then feel like you’re trying to sell them your program, right? 

Sometimes, that might be appropriate, but most of the time, you need that client cultivation flow.

You need a process that you take people through so they can sort of self-select into the next step, every step of the way.

And this is what most people are missing. 

From there, once you really feel like, “Okay, I’m tapping into my extended network. I’m doing a lot with that. I’m talking to people. I’m reaching out. I’m hosting gatherings,” whatever that looks like for you–only then would I say to start casting a wider net.

And you want to do this in a way that works for you. My recommendation is to keep this really simple. Don’t go out and try ten different strategies because you’re going to halfway do every strategy, and you’re just going to be frustrated and overwhelmed.

Instead, you want to pick one strategy to start. So, outside of your core network–and this is what we teach a lot of our clients to do–start there.

Outside of that, pick one other strategy, and that’s it. For a while, you test it out. This could be something like: “I’m going to attend events where my ideal client would be hanging out. I’m going to attend lots of events, and I’m going to continue working with my network while meeting the people I connect with at these events.”

Or it could be: “I really want to go for getting booked on podcasts.” So, you make that your strategy. You test it out for three to six months, really get great at it, speak on a lot of podcasts that your ideal clients listen to, and see if it works.

Or it could be speaking–getting out in front of other people’s audiences. This is different from hosting your own events. It’s more like saying, “I want to get in front of other people’s groups and share my message.”

And again, there needs to be an invitation process and a client cultivation flow to take those people through–to guide them to the next step so they can get to know, like, and trust you even more. 

Then, hopefully, they’ll say yes to working with you.

So, whatever you choose here with this wider net, you want to pick something that fits with your aliveness. You want to pick something that really works for you.

People used to come to me when I was in online marketing, and they would say, “I think I need to do a video series.”

And I’d ask, “Okay, do you have a curiosity about being on video? Do you like being on video?”

And they’d be like, “Oh my god, no, I hate it. I have no interest.”

And I’d say, “Hmm, okay, something’s not quite lining up here.”

And they’d respond, “But everybody’s doing it. And they say that’s what you really need.”

And I’d say, “Well, yes, it can be effective, but if you hate it–if you absolutely hate it, and it’s not just fear holding you back but a total lack of interest–then it’s probably not the best direction for you, right? It’s probably not the thing we want to focus on.”

There are so many different things you could be doing. And so, I say the same thing to you: What are you curious about? Even if it scares you–because a lot of things are going to scare you in the earlier stages of your business–what are you really curious to explore?

What would be a way for you to put yourself out there more?

So, those are the four steps that we’re going to really focus on today in terms of attracting more clients, finding more clients, and then actually enrolling them to grow your business: 

eliminating distractions and busy work, 

creating your client cultivation flow, 

focusing on your network and your extended network first, 

and then casting a wider net with one strategy to start.

Now, if you’d like to go deeper–because I know we covered a lot today, but we weren’t able to dive deeply into some of these areas, like, What is a client cultivation flow? or, How do I eliminate distractions when it feels like everything is something I have to do?–I do have a class coming up.

It’s happening in just a few days or about a week from the time of this recording. It’s called Focus and Flow. It’s a two-day, live online business training where we’re going to go through all of these pieces in more detail.

What is the 20 percent of your efforts that gets you 80 percent of your results?

How do you move through overwhelm to really see what to focus on?

What are your financial goals, and what’s the plan to actually reach them?

We’ll also dive into heart-centered, authentic sales–teaching specific things around that and even practicing it.

It’s going to be a really powerful weekend. It’s structured as two half-days, so it’s not overwhelming, and we’ll take breaks throughout.

If you can’t attend all the sessions live, I still recommend signing up because you’ll get the replays. But I encourage you to come to as many sessions as you can live–it makes a big difference to be there in real-time.

The class is happening on January 25th and 26th, and you can learn more and register at wayofthemuse.com/focus.

I also have a special for our podcast listeners: a promo code just for you. When you go to sign up, you’ll see a box that says “Have a coupon code?” on the signup page. Make sure you look for it–it’s on the bottom right if you’re on your computer or at the bottom of the page if you’re on your phone.

Type in the word PODCAST (in all caps), and you’ll get 50% off whatever the current pricing is.

The pricing is tiered, so it starts out low and goes up every few days. Be sure to check it out soon so you don’t miss the lower pricing.

I would love to see you there, and I’d also love to hear any questions you have about today’s episode.

If you come to the class, you’ll have the opportunity to ask those questions live, and I’ll coach you through them. 

If you can’t make it to the class, feel free to email us at support@wayofthemuse.com. Send us your questions, your feedback, or any “aha” moments you had. We’d love to hear from you.

All right. Thank you so much, everyone. We’ll see you next week.

Makena: Hello, everyone. I’m Makena Sage, and I’m here with the second episode in our business series this January. 

So we had, last week, an episode about a simplified path to creating six figures or more as an entrepreneur. And now, a lot of you listening are probably past that point, right? You may be at six figures, or you’re far past it, and you’re really looking to make an income leap.

So maybe you are wanting to go from six to multiple six, or you’re in the low multiple six-figure, and you’re wanting to double or triple that number. 

And so that’s really what this episode today is about. And even if you’re not at that stage yet, and you happen to be listening to this, feel free to go ahead and listen in.

You will learn a lot, but I do recommend going back as well and listening to last week’s episode because what it takes to grow at each different stage of entrepreneurship is very different. 

So what it takes to go from just starting out to kind of getting your first clients, or from there to six figures, is very different than what we’re going to be talking about in the episode today, which is, already, you have some foundation under you. You have an established business. You have kind of a track record. 

And so, again, all of it’s valuable information, it’s great to be educating yourself. So I want to really acknowledge you for that. And just know that that’s really what we’re going to be covering today. 

So I just realized as I was kind of working on some of the posts and everything for last week’s episode that I’ve just reached 11 years in a row of making six figures or more and five years in a row of making multiple six figures or more.

It’s so super exciting. That’s an amazing milestone and really cool to just be able to look back on. 

And so I wanted to share that because I’m not going to go deeply into my story in this episode. I talked a lot about my story last week and in many other episodes, but I’m not going to share a whole lot of background or a whole lot of credibility. But hopefully, that gives you at least a snapshot view that I do know what I’m talking about.

And I’ve also supported hundreds of entrepreneurs. My mom and I both do business coaching, among other types of coaching, but the majority of our clients are entrepreneurs or career women who are really looking to grow their businesses and their incomes and their impact. 

And, of course, then we work with them in other areas of life as well. 

So, we have a very holistic approach, but many people come to us for business primarily. And so it’s really fun to be doing these episodes here.

And so, personally, I’ve helped support hundreds of entrepreneurs all over the world to grow their businesses at many different stages. Anywhere from just starting out to multiple seven figures in annual revenue. 

And the large majority of our, or my clients, at least in the kind of private space. And then many of the clients in our mastermind are in the six to multiple six-figure range.

We do have clients far beyond that and clients that aren’t yet there. 

And really, there’s no judgment here. There’s no anything like that. 

Wherever you are is incredible; it’s perfect, and everybody’s been at different stages at different times. 

So this episode, though, is really geared towards those who are in that range, which is where many of the clients we work with happen to be.

I love working with women at this stage because, again, at that point, you have a certain established track record. 

You have the confidence to some degree, at least. 

You’re no longer in survival mode, hopefully, if you’ve reached at least six figures. And there are different challenges that present themselves at this point.

So, I’m going to share just a few of those, and that’s what we’re going to take as a jumping-off point today for this episode. 

So, as you listen, just notice what’s going on. Which one of these do you resonate with? What really feels like it maybe connects with where you are right now?

So, a lot of women at this stage feel like they have capped out their current business model. So, what that means is, in order to, let’s say, double their income, they would have to work maybe double as hard, which really isn’t sustainable. And many times, they’re like, “I don’t have any more energy to work any harder, so how would I ever grow beyond where I am?”

So, that’s number one. That’s one of the challenges that we see. 

Another one is that women at this stage in business often feel tired because they’ve been going, going, going, right? They’ve been building their businesses. A lot of times, they have families, they have a lot going on in their lives, and partnerships, and they’re still doing everything in their business. 

Or maybe they have a little bit of support, but typically not much at this point.

So, they don’t have the team or the systems in place to start to really free them up to get into their sweet spot. 

And I want to define what I mean by this because some people know what “sweet spot” means; some have no idea.

So, your sweet spot is really those areas in business, those areas within what you do, where you are lit up, you love them, you’re great at them, and they move the needle. They bring in revenue, or they create–maybe you’re the creative force in your business. 

And so, your sweet spot is where you’re getting results.

And it’s also what you really enjoy. 

It’s what lights you up, what brings you alive. 

So, that’s what we define as your sweet spot. 

You may have other skills, you may have other things that you bring to the business that are very important and help move the business forward. And that’s great.

You’re going to need that at this stage still until you build a team that can take a lot of those things off your plate. 

Eventually, the goal is to spend as much time in your sweet spot as possible, right? If you could spend 80 percent of your time in your sweet spot and only 20 percent of your time doing the things that maybe aren’t as much what you love, what brings you alive, think how your life would be different.

Now, that’s a lofty goal for a lot of people who are maybe only 5 percent in their sweet spot or 10 percent right now. 

So, wherever you are, it’s okay. 

But just know that, like, that’s a huge part of this process and this transition as you continue to grow your income–to move you more and more into alignment with what really fits for you that also moves the business forward.

So, in that, you may right now be in that place where you’re still doing everything. And so, we want to really start to have you make that shift. Now, sometimes, if you’ve been, let’s say, at a plateau of some kind for a while–like you’ve been making the same kind of income for a while–if you’ve been running the same business for a while, many of our clients have been doing what they do for 5, 10, 15 plus years.

And when they come to us, they feel tired, certainly, but also a little bored.

And many of them are wondering, “Is this still really what I want to be doing? Should I be doing something different? Should I be thinking about making a change?” 

But then again, on the other hand, they’re saying, “Well, I don’t want to give up the success. I’ve worked so hard for it, right? I’ve put a lot of time into this. I’ve built a reputation.”

So, if you resonate with that, we’re going to talk about that as well. 

And I just want to say that I’ve gone through all of these challenges at some point or another. And I want to address this last one first.

There may be times, and there are situations in which someone truly needs or wants to make a pivot to step into something new. 

And I actually did this. 

This was my story, which many of you know, which in very brief is that I was in a different business making six figures plus for many years. And then I was having anxiety, having panic attacks, having a lot of signs and symptoms of burnout that I really needed to make a change.

Now, that’s not to say that everyone who’s having those symptoms needs to make a change. We have many clients–some of whose stories I’ll share with you today–who were in a similar situation, and it ended up that they didn’t want to make a change in the end. 

So, it’s not one size fits all.

But what we do find, I will say, is that in about 90 percent of cases, when we work with women who are feeling this way, in the end, after we go through this process I’m going to share with you today, they realize that it’s not the work that they’re doing that’s not a fit anymore–it’s actually the way they’re working.

I’m going to say that again. It’s not the work they’re doing that’s not a fit anymore–it’s the way they’re working. 

And I went through this myself at one point, even after I’d stepped into coaching, which is truly work that I love. I’m great at it. It’s in my sweet spot. I feel like I’m of service. It feels like what I’m here to do, or at least a big part of it.

And even within that, I still, for a long time, was burning myself out and burning the candle at both ends, and pressuring and stressing myself out, and not getting enough support, and struggling with a lot of these things we’re talking about today. 

And it wasn’t until I realized this–that it was not the work I was doing in this case, I didn’t need to make another pivot–it was the way I was working.

So, I wouldn’t make any snap judgments about this right now. 

Just know that you may be one or the other, but about 90 percent of the cases that we do see, women do end up falling back in love with their work when we start to clean up energy leaks–which I’m going to talk about–and they get support in their businesses or in their personal lives. 

And they start making a lot more money in a lot less time, and they fall back in love with their work again.

So, just know, we may not know what the answer is for you now. We do have a podcast episode on this topic called Bored With Your Business: Should You Leave or Grow? And we will link that in the show notes. 

So, if you want to go deeper into this topic, then you can listen to that episode.

But let’s assume for now that you are in the 90 percent of business owners who are going to fall back in love with your business once you get more into your sweet spot. 

Or maybe none of this really applies to you, and you love what you do, and it’s not even a factor. You’re just like, “I just want to grow. How do I grow without working harder?”

So, the first thing we do when we are coaching someone who wants to double or triple their income is do a high-level analysis of where they are now. 

So, let’s say they come into private coaching, or they come into our mastermind–our Wealthy World Changers mastermind with my mom and mentor, Gigi, and myself–or they come in and do a VIP day. 

We do VIP weekends where we work with people immersively for one to two days, and we really support them with all of this, everything we’re talking about today, and often go into other areas as well, personal, which we’ll talk about in a little while here, why that’s important.

So, wherever we happen to be–if we’re in person, if we’re on a coaching session–it’s a deep dive, let’s say, a 90-minute or two-hour session when somebody’s first starting with us. 

So, we really do a high-level analysis, and we go, “What are you offering? What do you have available? What are your rates?” 

And these are just examples of some of the questions we might look at.

“How are you spending your time? Do you have support? And what really moves the needle to bring in business for you?” 

And then, “How much of your time is going to those activities versus how much of your time is being spent on busy work or tasks that could easily be taken on by someone else if they were trained?”

So, we’re doing this kind of analysis. 

We’re looking at where you are now, taking a snapshot of your business. And then we also look at personal. What’s going on in your personal life? 

And then we really identify what I call energy leaks–energy leaks in your business as well as in your personal life.

So, what are the biggest drains on this person’s time, on their money, and on their energy and vitality? 

For example, if they’re fighting with their spouse on a regular basis, that’s an energy leak, right? This is where personal starts to impact business. If you are having arguments with someone on a regular basis, and there’s a recurring conflict or different kinds of conflicts, then that’s going to drain your energy. That’s going to distract you. That’s going to pull your attention. And so, it’s something we need to address.

This is why we coach holistically because every area of your life impacts every other area, right? 

We can’t just focus on the business and ignore everything else. 

If your health is really suffering, that’s going to be an energy leak. That’s going to be a drain. If you’re tired all the time, you’re not getting enough sleep, then it’s going to be hard to put into your business what you need to, to really have it grow.

So, those are a couple of personal examples of energy leaks. 

You could have, let’s say, some people have piles of unpaid bills that they just haven’t gotten to, right? Or paperwork that’s been sitting there that they need to handle. Or–this happens also–sometimes people have tons of invoices open with their clients that haven’t been paid yet.

I just had a client last year who had $10,000 or something, or $15,000 in open invoices with her clients, and she didn’t have a system in place to be following up with those clients and getting those paid. So, pretty quickly, within a month or two of us working together, she got all those handled. That was a huge return on investment right there, right? Because those were just dragging out and dragging out. And then on top of that, she really went for growing her income.

So, we see this a lot–just having open invoices – let’s say.

There could be things like repetitive problems that keep coming up in your business or just little things that keep frustrating you that need to get handled. 

So, start to pay attention. Start to take an inventory. Where are the energy leaks for you? You can make a long, big list.

And then, if you’re spending a ton of time again doing things that are not in your sweet spot and aren’t moving the needle to bring in new business, then that’s a huge leak too. And this is one of the blind spots for a lot of people. 

You can make your list, but sometimes it’s hard to see these things for yourself.

This is why people come in and coach with us–because very quickly, we can identify, right, all of these areas and even blind spots for them. And a lot of times, this is one of them, where you’re spending tons of time posting on social media. 

But we really look at, “How many clients have come in through social media in the last year?” And often, the answer is little to none. 

Or they are, let’s see, I’m trying to think of another thing–doing tons of admin or working on these projects that they think are necessary, but when we really look, it’s not really moving the needle to move their business forward.

So, these energy leaks could also be other open loops–anything that distracts you or keeps you awake at night. 

Even things like not taking care of yourself, like we said–not getting enough sleep, feeling wound up all the time–those are all examples of energy leaks. 

So, it’s a very broad category, but it’s really important that you do an assessment of this and really see what are those energy leaks for you.

We can start, step by step, systematically, to clean those up–to kind of plug those leaks so that all that energy is no longer going out, and you’re keeping more of that energy to really pour back into your business.

So, how do we do this when we work with people? 

We–and again, these are all things that I did for myself as well, and Gigi really supported me. She really mentored me through this process because I was the classic do-it-all-myself solopreneur. 

I did not think that anybody could do it as well as I could. I did not think I could hire support. I kind of tried a couple of times and dabbled, and it just felt like it was more work than it was worth.

So, I was completely in a similar kind of position. I did not have systems in place. Gigi had to hound me, basically, and keep telling me, like, “You know, clean that up. Delegate that. Get some…” putting systems in place, getting support. 

And over the years, she trained me, and I trained our team–and she trained our team as well–to really create a flow here where we can be in our sweet spots the large majority of the time, which is such a great feeling.

I can’t even describe it to you–to really be able to be in the things that you love to do and that you’re great at, and know that you have people to support you to do the rest. 

So, putting systems in place… We always say, “Every pressure needs a system.” And I believe we have an episode on this as well that we will link to in the transcript and in the show notes.

So, if you’re curious about more of what we mean by that–every pressure needs a system. Hiring a team is really, really big. And most people think that they can’t do this, they can’t afford it, it’s not going to work for them. 

And I will just say that, yes, you can do this a lot sooner than you think you can.

And this could be something as simple as hiring somebody to clean your house every other week or something if that’s really a drain on your energy and time that you could be putting into your business. 

So, it could be personal support–help with your kids–or it could be support in your business, which for many of our clients it is.

And, there are all kinds of options these days in terms of hiring somebody part-time as a contractor, or hiring overseas VAs. We have a team of three full-time VAs who have been with us for many years now, and they’re incredible. 

We started with one, and we built from there. And it was a lot more affordable than you might have thought, right? 

Because they have differences in what their expenses are in their country. They’re making great incomes, they can pay for childcare for their kids, they get holidays. We take great care of them.

And it’s very different than hiring somebody here in the States. That’s just one example. There are many ways that you can approach this. 

So, those are a couple of things in terms of cleaning up the energy leaks. Learning communication skills–I know that doesn’t seem like it’s related, but let’s say you are having conflict in your relationship, then communication skills may be the thing to clean up that energy leak.

This is one of Gigi’s real areas of genius, and she just put out a whole program about this called The Way of Growing Love, which we can also link to in the show notes. And just really how to communicate more effectively with other people–your partner or with anyone of the opposite sex, let’s say. But communication skills are huge in your personal and in your professional relationships.

A couple of other examples of closing energy leaks is creating a better rhythm for their days and their weeks so they can get more done. So, really looking at how you are spending your time. Most people are just in reaction mode in the way that they live their lives and run their businesses. They’re just booking things all over the place, reacting to what comes in, and they’re not strategically looking at how they want to be spending their time.

What’s the rhythm for their days? Are there certain days where they’re taking calls, certain days where they’re working on projects, certain days where they’re taking off–whatever that might be? How do you create a rhythm that really works for you and allows you to be far, far more effective?

And then, also putting those kinds of systems and rhythms in place in your personal life. So, do you have a regular date night with your partner? Are you spending time with your kids? Are you taking care of yourself, sleeping, exercising? So, it seems like these things would take away from your work, but actually, as long as you are kind of navigating both at the same time, it’s really powerful to address both at once–to be really caring for your personal life, which is super important, and then also caring for your business.

So, that’s really number one: clearing out these energy leaks, closing them up. 

If you have a boat and it’s leaking all over the place, you’re not going to stay afloat for very long. When you start to close these all up, then you can start to paddle. Then you can start to really move and get somewhere.

The next thing is really looking at someone’s business model. So, can the rates that they are charging get them to where they want to go? Right? 

If you look at what you’re charging right now and you think, “Okay, what’s my goal?” and you work backwards–how many more clients do you need to enroll? How much more do you need to sell to get to your goal? And is that doable? Is it actually sustainable, or is it going to put you into stress and strain and overwhelm?

And for most people, that’s what they find–it’s just going to put them in stress and strain and overwhelm. And that’s why they haven’t grown beyond where they are. That’s why they’re plateaued. 

So then, we start to look at, “Okay, well, how can this be shifted? Can you offer higher-value packages to maybe your current clients or new clients? Where is there so-called low-hanging fruit that can really support you to get to where you want to go?”

So, I want to give you a couple of real examples of this with clients that we’ve worked with, because often small tweaks can lead to huge income leaps.

One of our clients, who’s a tax preparer as well as a bookkeeper–when she started working with us, we really did this whole process we’re talking about now. We looked at her whole life and business, we did the analysis, we looked at the leaks. And, by the way, this takes time. It’s not like this happens like that. We could do the overview and the plan in, let’s say, a weekend, like when somebody comes in and works with us intensively. But most of the time, people work with us over a longer term, at least six to twelve months, and then often come back year after year because they keep growing.

And the reason that it takes six to twelve months for a lot of people to really make a leap like this is because you’ve got to tackle one thing at a time. You can’t do 25 things at once.

So, for this client, we were doing the analysis, we looked at the leaks, we were starting to clean those up, and simultaneously we were looking at her business model. We saw that she was charging really relatively very low rates for her tax preparation. And when she looked at her competitors, her rates were much, much lower.

Now, she didn’t want to jump a lot, but she said, “What if we went up by $10 or $20 a person, right?” So, she had something like 200 tax clients when she started with us–200 in the year. And so, 200 times $20, that’s another $4,000 in the year, right? One small tweak that increased her income by a few thousand dollars.

Now, I don’t remember if these were the exact numbers; this is just an example. Some of her clients were business clients. So, let’s say their taxes went up by $50 and she had, I don’t know, 50 of those clients–then another $2,500 there. So, these little tweaks started to add up. She also started charging for consultations. Before, she would do consultations for free. She would end up spending a lot of her time, and she started just charging a little something. That really created a boost in her income as well.

Another thing with her was, she was one of those clients who had lots of invoices out and people not paying on time. So, we put systems in place there to have clients pay ahead of time before she did the services for them. So, we did a lot of different things, and over the course of the first year that we worked together, she went from working 60-plus hours a week–60 to 80 hours a week, especially during tax season–to working, I don’t know if it was half in that first year, but she’s working about 30 hours a week now.

She says it’s been a few years now, but I think she decreased hugely in that first year in terms of how much time she was working. And she increased her income by 1.5x. So, she went from the number she was at and then 1.5x’d her income in that first year. Since then, she’s actually tripled her business tripled her client base, and she continues to grow at a really rapid rate year after year.

And we have systematically, with her, followed this process that we’re talking about today. So, that’s one example. Another example is a client of mine who is in the, let’s say, consulting space for sales. And we really broke it down and saw maybe that’s not it. 

I’m actually just going to read a little quote from her after we worked together because I think she says it better than I can.

She came in with an idea of how she thought she needed to grow. And this is often the case–people think, “Well, this is what I need to do to grow.” Maybe everybody else in my industry is doing it, and this is what’s going to make the most sense. And we really broke it down and saw maybe that’s not it.

So, she said to me after we worked together: “I will admit that the strategy we developed was not where I thought we were going to go. We started by going back to the clients I was already working with. A couple of them doubled their investment with me without adding more work to my plate.”

And this was true. We really looked at her enterprise clients, her consulting clients, and we found ways to add more value without more of her time. So, they doubled their investment, but her time stayed the same. So, she essentially halved the time she was working for double the money.

She said, “I shifted my offerings and raised my rates. Then I brought some new clients in at those new rates.” So, here we go again–we’re already doubling here, decreasing the time we’re working, or at least keeping it the same while the income’s gone up. And then new clients start coming in at these new rates and the new amount of hours being worked.

So, as a result, she said, “We nearly doubled our revenues from where we were less than a year ago before we started working with you. My non-monetary goal is to get to where I’m only working three days per week, and I’m already down to three and a half to four days a week.” So, she hadn’t quite gotten to her time goal yet, but she was well on her way when she shared this with me.

So again, this has to do with the business model. This has to do with how you’re approaching it–how can you add more value for less time and tweak your offerings in such a way that maybe your current clients shift things or they upgrade, or maybe new clients come in?

So, these are some of the things we’re thinking about when someone is at the six-to-multiple-six-figure level. She was around, I think, $500,000 or $600,000, if I’m quoting that right, when we started working together, and she wanted to double. So, she was on her way to a million and beyond.

So, what happens when these changes take effect? Well, first, let me just recap kind of what the three main areas are that we talked about.

First is addressing energy leaks–really putting systems in place, getting support. And again, we have a whole episode on systems, but a system could be as simple as a standard operating procedure, an SOP, and bringing someone in who can then act on that thing.

So, if you invoice clients the same way every time, creating a simple procedure around that and handing it off to an assistant is an example. A system could also be something like, instead of paying your bills throughout the month and it being a big distraction–things falling through the cracks–you do them on the first and the fifteenth of every month. You set aside a little time on your calendar, and that’s it. You don’t think about it outside of that.

There are many, many different kinds of systems you can put in place, and getting support is a big part of eliminating distractions as well as clearing out energy leaks and getting you more into your sweet spot.

The second thing I touched on is taking care of yourself. You are the batteries of your business. If you’re a solopreneur or have a small business, your energy and vitality are so important. Of course, you have to do what needs to get done in the business, but one of the biggest skills I’ve learned that helped me grow from six to multiple six figures is knowing when to take breaks.

Sometimes, when you get overwhelmed, it’s okay to quit for the afternoon or take the rest of the day off and come back to it the next day with much more clarity and energy.

And finally, the third area is reevaluating your business model–looking at your offerings, your overall structure, and seeing what needs to be tweaked or overhauled to get you to where you want to go.

So, what happens when you do all of this? What happens when someone starts to make these changes?

First of all, their income grows, of course, while they’re working a lot less. I’ve shared a couple of stories about that. This is what people mean when they say, “I want to work smarter, not harder.” And I hear that a lot. People say it, but I don’t think they know exactly what it means. They just know they’re overwhelmed, and that sounds good.

To me, that means making more money while working less time, having more support, and being more in your sweet spot. That’s really the biggest change that happens.

Also, people have a lot more energy and inspiration. Where they might have been feeling bored or drained before by their business, they start to have vitality again. New ideas start to come online. As a result, they’re happier, more fulfilled, and their relationships improve.

When you’re happier and more fulfilled, that energy naturally spills over into your relationships–both personal and professional. We also hear a lot that women feel more supported. They don’t feel like they’re in it alone anymore. That’s because they’ve hired a team or found other forms of support.

Some of our clients even have their kids start helping in their businesses in some way. Others feel supported by us, their coaches, or by the other women in our programs. However that support shows up, feeling supported is huge–it shifts everything.

Another thing that happens is new opportunities show up seemingly out of nowhere. And I say “out of nowhere” in air quotes because this is all part of the process. It’s not random. When you align your energy, get your vitality back, focus on what you love, and free up time and energy, you start attracting synchronicities and opportunities.

People feel your energy, and they want to be a part of what you’re doing. We had another client–actually, I think I mentioned this last week–who said, “When I started shifting and clearing up these energy leaks, and I started approaching my business differently, we had people wanting to work with us left and right. It was such a change.”

So, that’s an example of how new opportunities show up.

So, there’s a lot more I could go into on all of these topics, but hopefully, that at least gives you a high-level overview or starting point for where to begin to make your next big income leap.

And if you’re curious about working with us, getting support to do this, these are the kinds of things we do, as I mentioned, in our private coaching, in our Wealthy World Changers mastermind, as well as in VIP coaching weekends. So, if you’re curious about that at all, you can just email us at support@wayofthemuse.com.

That’s support@wayofthemuse.com.

Just send us an email and say, “Hey, here’s a little bit about me. I’m curious about how you could support me. What would be some options?” And we can jump on a no-obligation call and just chat through what we have to offer and how we might be able to support you.

The other thing I do have coming up that I wanted to mention–I talked about it last week–is a class called Focus and Flow. This is a two-day or two-half-day online live training, and it’s at the end of January–January 25th and 26th, 2025. And this is really a course that is for people whether you’re in the early stages of your business or you’re further along.

It’s really for people at all of those stages because we’re going to go through how to take your business to the next level without, again, just overloading yourself. You’re already overwhelmed. You’re already busy. So, how do you sort of streamline and cut through the overwhelm, eliminate the distractions that aren’t actually getting you results, and focus on what really moves the needle, getting you more and more into your sweet spot, right?

And then, other things we’re going to do in this weekend include looking at some business strategy. We’re going to look at what different approaches you could be taking. I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all, but what are some of the things that could really move your business forward in a profound way with less work?

We’ll also talk about client enrollment strategies–different processes that are heart-centered, that feel authentic, and are authentic–so that more people say yes to working with you. Because if you can increase the percentage of people that you talk to who say yes, that’s one of the lowest-hanging fruits, right? Improving these skills at any stage of business is really, really powerful.

And then, we’re going to create what I call your Money Magnet Roadmap. This is really your step-by-step plan to reach your 2025 financial goals, whatever those are. So, we’ll really work that plan like we talked about today but with the support to do it in a group setting.

That’s a little of what we’re going to be covering. You can learn more about it at wayofthemuse.com/focus.

That’s wayofthemuse.com/focus.

This is a very entry-level kind of course with me. Again, it is live, which I love–a live format. And in terms of investment, right now the investment is $147. It’s going to be going up to $197 after January 15th.

I made an offer on the podcast last week, which I’ll do again here, just to reward our listeners. I’m going to give you a discount code for $50 off. So, right now, if you use that discount code, it’ll give you the entire weekend training for just $97. And once the price has gone up, then it would be $147. So, you’re going to get $50 off whatever the current rate is.

And that code is PODCAST.

So, you’ll go to wayofthemuse.com/focus, go to the signup page, and where it says, “Have a coupon code?” you’re going to enter the code PODCAST to get the $50 off.

This is a great weekend to inspire you, to learn, to get in there with other people, to ask your questions, and also to get a sense of our coaching. If you’re curious about hiring a business coach this year or you want to get a feel for what it’s like to work with me or with us, this is a great opportunity to come in and have a little experience of that.

So, I hope to see you there. And I hope that you’ve gotten something incredible out of today. Even if you just take the steps I talked about and you workshop this yourself, it’s going to make a huge difference.

Taking that time for reflection, taking that time to really zoom out, right? That’s what working with a coach often does–it gives you a perspective. You’re investing in someone to help you reflect and be a sounding board, to give you that outside view. But even just taking the time to sit down and look at all these things when you’re so caught up in the day-to-day of your business can be really powerful.

The course, Focus and Flow will be great for that, or you can do this on your own, right? Set aside the time and really work the process I talked about today.

So, I’ll see you on the podcast next week. Our episode is going to be about how to find clients without paid ads or posting 24/7 on social media.

 This is something we’ll go much deeper into in Focus and Flow, but I’m going to give you as much as I can in the podcast episode next week. So, I will see you there, and happy January!