Makena: Hi, everyone.

Gigi: Hello, everyone. Hi, Makena.

Makena: Hi, Gigi. Great to be back with you all.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: And it’s November. Oh my gosh.

Gigi: I know, when you have a three-month-old…

Makena: Almost three months, yeah. We just put up our Christmas decorations. We’re big on the holidays around here. And I sent Gigi the picture of her in the Santa hat yesterday, in front of the tree. She’s so cute and pudgy. We love her. She’s amazing.

Gigi: She has extra cheeks.

Makena: Yep, she’s storing up for winter, even though we live in San Diego and we don’t really get winter.

Gigi: We love her. She’s beautiful. I can’t wait to hug her.

Makena: Yeah, it’s been super fun, and we are excited for today’s podcast episode, which is “How to Set Goals Without Pressure.” This is a topic that we often get asked about—not always in those exact words, but people have this experience with goal setting where they set a goal and then feel stressed about it. They set a goal and then feel pressured to get there, or feel like they’re falling behind or aren’t sure if it’s going to happen. 

So I wanted to talk to Gigi, and we wanted to share with you some things we share with our clients about how to approach this, and also what we do ourselves. How do we approach this differently? 

So if someone came to you and said, “I want to run this marathon, I have this goal, I need to train and do all these things, but I’m feeling stressed about it.” Or, “I have this financial goal, which is often the case for our clients—maybe I want to make $100,000 or $500,000 this year—but every time I set the goal, I start to feel really stressed and pressured.” 

What do you see around this when clients have this dynamic play out? What’s happening there?

Gigi: This is not everyone. It’s not all the time. Sometimes, it’s even things that are more dear to our hearts, or we want them more. What often happens is people create goals and then go into effort, they immediately go into this pressure. If you look behind that, there’s fear—fear that they’re not going to make the goal. 

First of all, the word “goal” has this kind of pressure with it. Almost like… You had said something, Makena, about…

Makena: I think it feels like pass-fail.

If I think about a goal in sports, it’s like you either make the goal or you don’t. You get the ball through the hoop or you don’t. Whereas I know you like the language of “game,” Gigi, and playing the game is a whole different thing. Of course, you want to win, but you’re also enjoying the game. It’s not just one part of the game where you either get the ball through the hoop or you’ve failed.

Gigi: Yeah, and so in this, what happens is people have all this history with the word, and then they go into pressure. With some clients, the minute they have a goal, they also have what? They have accountability. 

And that’s another thing to look at. It’s not true for everyone; people might disagree. But the truth is, with working with so many people, I’ve seen that they use the excuse: “I’m under so much pressure because I set this goal,” and then use that excuse to let themselves off the hook of actually going for it.

Makena: This is complex. I feel like we’ve got to slow it down. First, you said when they have a goal, they go into fear—like, “What if I fail? What if this doesn’t happen?” Then you said they have accountability. What do you mean by that?

Gigi: The minute I set a game or a goal—if I say, “I’m going to make $10,000,” or whatever that is, and I have a timeline on it—then I have accountability right there. Immediately, I’ve set something and said it to someone else. So all my fear kicks in: “What if I don’t make it?” And that goes back to the pass-fail thing. 

I watch people often spiral around this, which is interesting, and they’ll say, “This just creates too much pressure because I have this number,” and then, “I’m under so much pressure, so I can’t make my goal.” Or they’ll quit and say, “I don’t like games, I don’t like goals that have numbers.”

Makena: We’re saying “numbers,” but numbers could also be—often with clients, we’re talking business. That number could be running a marathon, that’s another physical example.

Gigi: Or…

Makena: Yeah, let’s use that one. It’s got a number in the sense that there’s a date attached to it, and a certain number of miles you have to run. When we say “number,” just extrapolate that to whatever your goal is, because that’s part of setting a goal, typically—it’s usually time-bound and has some sort of measure so you can know whether you achieved it or not. 

So what you’re saying, Gigi, is with that accountability—”Oh, wait, I’ve said this to someone, now I’m on the hook”—then people spiral or freak out and say, “I don’t actually want to do this, this is too much pressure.” It’s counterintuitive, but I see people do it all the time. It’s like they finally say, “I’m going to do it,” and then use that as the reason not to do it.

Gigi: Yeah. Again, that’s a big thing to look at, but it’s really beautiful when you dig deep and look into that, because then you see, if you see it, you say, “Oh, okay, this is my loop.” 

There’s a distinction to be made between pressure and what I call intent. Intent is intentional action. That is where you make a game—say, $10,000, again as an example. Instead of getting wound up and thinking, “Oh my gosh, how am I going to make that?” I go, “Okay, when I have those feelings, I say, ‘What actions can I take to move this forward?'”

Because if my game is $10,000 in 90 days, let’s say, and I’m taking action every day for a certain amount of time—like the Power Hour you have your clients do, Makena—it’s the intentional action of moving your goals forward daily. The probability of me making that number increases exponentially versus sitting, worrying, and being frustrated, trying to think how it may not happen. 

You see the difference? Intentional action gives you a place to put that energy; it’s a way to shift out of pressure into action. In action, there’s movement. You’re transforming the pressure into movement, with the intent of making your goal. Is that too much?

Makena: No, that makes sense. I think it’s nuanced, so I want to break it down a little. We have a whole podcast episode on the topic of intent, so I highly recommend you listen to that one if you’re interested. It’s one of our most popular episodes; we’ll link that in the show notes so you can go deep there. 

What you’re talking about, Gigi, is almost like this alchemizing of the pressure. I love that—I saw when you were speaking, there’s this energy and it’s pressure, it’s building up inside of you. And then the action gives it somewhere to go, it allows it to move so that it transforms, like you said, from pressure into, hopefully, results. When people do this, the pressure releases, usually, unless they continue to wind themselves up about it. 

The natural way of it, I think, is that when people go into action consistently, that energy shifts.

Gigi: Yep. Doesn’t mean the fear doesn’t come up, doesn’t mean you don’t have those moments, but you’ve made a choice to do something different. With intent—it’s almost like what I talk about: if it’s going to happen, it’s going to be me who makes it happen. I have intent that this is going to happen. I do that all the time; I use this with the weather and with everything. People think I’m crazy, but I feel in myself that I go into my core: “What’s my intent here?” That’s what I go for. I don’t think we can just—

Makena: Brush over the weather thing. You’ve got to explain what you’re talking about there. I know, but I think our guests need to know this about you, Gigi.

Gigi: Let’s tell them about the weather.

Makena: Yeah, what does that mean? Tell us how you do this.

Gigi: I don’t know why, but I have this thing with the weather. Me and God are connected on the weather, and I really have a sense that when the weather needs to change, I feel like I go in and—

Makena: You guys, I don’t know how she does it, but it works. We will have forecasted rain, all kinds of things, and she will be like, “Let me just get in there and talk to God,” and then we have a beautiful sunny day. So anyway, you were talking about intent.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: Having that aligned action, taking the action, transforms that pressure into results. But also, I think the other thing is, it becomes fun, right?

Gigi: Exactly. It should be a game.

Makena: Yes.

Gigi: You want this to happen, you intend for it to happen, you’re going to do everything in your power to make it happen. That’s where you can relax. If I sit back and go, “I don’t know how I’m going to do it.” Well, if you don’t know, you’ve got to spend some time—what are twenty ways I could make this happen? 

Make it a game so you go for it, with no excuses. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. I just watched a movie last night about a basketball team that wasn’t good at all. 

A coach came in, built their confidence, and one way he did that was by saying, “Act like you have a chip on your shoulder, get out there,” because they were all a little meek and mild. As he did that, they got stronger; as they played and started to win, in the playoffs he said, “Listen guys, get out there and have fun, go for it.” There was no pressure—”We’ve got to win this”—just, “You know what to do, you’re good at this.” They won. 

Part of it is intent, but also playfulness—take the pressure off.

Makena: It doesn’t serve you. Like you said, it becomes an excuse—the pressure, the pressure, and then they say it’s too much.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: They let themselves off the hook.

Gigi: They let themselves off the hook. Then they say, “I don’t like numbers.”

Makena: “I don’t like goals, I don’t like numbers. That doesn’t work for me. This is too much.” Yeah, these kinds of things. 

We had a client ask us recently, “What do you see in women who come into your programs and really excel or surpass their goals? What do they do differently?” I thought that was a beautiful question, and it ties into this, right, Gigi?

Gigi: Yeah. What I see is they do the hard things. When I see women really excel, they go after it, make it a game, and keep going no matter what. They have intent, and don’t get stuck. They have fear, but they go into action. 

Once you do that, you see there’s no other option—there’s not a “maybe I can,” it’s a strong commitment to doing it. It might not turn out exactly how you wanted, the number might not be exactly what you want, or the success might not be the exact place you want, but I guarantee you will have moved forward.

Makena: Absolutely.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: We’re talking a lot about action, and there’s also consistency—continuously moving forward. It doesn’t mean, like you said, that you don’t have fear or down days, or need to take a day off. 

How do you tell people to create consistency and really move their goals or games forward?

Gigi: Little actions every day. Commitment to action, doing the things that move the needle, and being absolutely consistent. It can’t be one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. It has to be, “I’m doing this no matter what.” Create space and time to do it. 

From my years of learning how to sell and build a business, I did that with my kids, traveling, on the phone, in airports, wherever—it didn’t have to be sitting down at a set moment; it was my intent that it was going to happen no matter what. No excuses. “I have children, I can’t, I don’t have time.” Those excuses have to go.

Makena: What you’re pointing to there is this energy—people make it hard work.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: You’re saying the women who reach and surpass their goals do the hard things, but don’t necessarily make it hard work.

Gigi: Yeah, right.

Makena: That’s the pressure part. “I’ve got to sit down and do this every day. If I don’t do it, I’ve failed.” It’s about keeping the energy and fitting it in however and wherever you can. People hear “consistency” and think boring, same thing day in and day out, but it’s more about continuous action.

Gigi: Continuous action, yeah.

Makena: Keep the energy moving forward, and don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Gigi: Yeah. If you’re an entrepreneur and make it pressure, what’s the fun in having your business? Of course, there are times when there’s pressure, but we love what we do, so even if sometimes we feel like quitting, we still move forward because we love it. 

Our approach is, “I love what I do, and I make my business a game.” I’m always setting up, “I have to move this forward. There’s nobody else to do this except me or Makena.” If we don’t do it, nothing happens. You have to love that. If you don’t, it’s worth considering whether having a job might be better, and there’s nothing wrong with that either. You can create games and goals at a job too, but maybe your bills are paid and things are handled differently. Both ways work.

Makena: I feel like we have to share this quote you love—your favorite one, right? “Until one is committed…”

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: Can I read it?

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: This is Gigi’s favorite quote, and it’s a little long but powerful and fits perfectly.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. 

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. 

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.'”

That’s William Hutchinson Murray; that last part is Goethe. He credits Goethe there. It’s a powerful quote—when you really commit and go for it, all kinds of things open up.

Gigi: We’ve seen that happen time after time. I’ve had that experience so many times in my career: when I decided I wanted to write a book, somehow—like magic—it came to me. 

Someone came to me wanting to write a book with me. Things spiral because I was committed. I knew I was going to do it somehow; I didn’t know how. You don’t always need to know how, but when you’re internally committed, that’s powerful. That’s the inner work.

I might sit on an airplane and meet a publisher—those synchronicities, those “God winks.” Everything you wanted can appear because you know what you want, and you’re internally committed to making it happen.

Makena: We hear this all the time from clients. Someone close to me recently said, “Wow, this opportunity came out of nowhere.” I said, “Not really, you’ve been consistently in action and moving forward. 

Even though it seemed like it was out of left field, it wasn’t. It’s intent and energy.” That’s what the quote is speaking to—it won’t always come directly from the exact action, person, or outreach, but there’s something about being in consistent action. 

The way the world seems to operate is, when you’re moving from that place—making it a fun game instead of stress and pressure—then synchronicities and God winks show up, and opportunities appear out of nowhere. That’s why you want to set goals without pressure.

Gigi: It’s so much fun. Yes, it’s tough and hard sometimes, but it’s also fun. Things open up in a way that’s almost like a snowball effect. It’s getting over that hurdle, and working with people for so long, you see some can make that shift easily, and for others it’s harder. 

If you dig in, often those who struggle aren’t 100% committed or really don’t want to grow, or aren’t willing to do the inner work. They have the brakes on to some degree.

Makena: It’s something they think they should do, or they’re convincing themselves, but don’t really want it—or they’re just not fully committed, like you said. So that’s important: you’ve got to be all in, fully committed. What are some ways, Gigi, that we share to make it more of a game? If someone’s going for a business or income goal, what’s a way? You love games, right? 

In our World Changer quiz, you’re victory motivated. If you’ve never taken that, it’s a fun, free, and insightful quiz at www.worldchangerquiz.com. It tells your number one talent and success motivator. Gigi’s is victory, all about winning the game. 

The joke we always make is, with the GPS—whenever we’re driving somewhere—you want to beat the GPS time. I have images of you on road trips, saying, “It says we’ll get there at 10:57, but we’re going to get there at 10:30.” I’m revealing all of Gigi’s secrets today.

Gigi: Even in traffic, I’m always figuring out how to get around, and I do, all the time.

Makena: That’s part of your makeup, your genius, making things a game. What are a couple ways, for business or an income goal, to do that?

Gigi: The one we’ve talked about before, which I did early in my career and was so much fun, is to put a piece of paper on the wall. If I’m going for a numbers game, I write down every dollar that comes in—every cent. Doing that daily is fun, and seeing it visually inspires you. Another way: if you have a new business or idea, ask one hundred people to work with you or buy from you—if they all say no, you’re probably in the wrong business quickly, especially for a project. 

Make a game out of how many people you can ask or get in front of, how many speeches you can book—like going for ten speeches in the next ninety days. Not necessarily delivered, but booked. If you’re dating, make a game of three dates per week for the next ninety days, then reflect on what worked, what didn’t, what you loved, what didn’t work so well. That energy builds, giving you more clarity and intent. 

With games, there’s intensity—consistency, going for something. The courage and confidence build over time; you get stronger as you go for it.

Makena: I can’t count how many people I’ve heard come back about tracking every dollar that comes in. Over the years, you’ve shared that, and people come back and say, “My numbers started to grow, my money expanded,” and sometimes they’re making more than they thought or less, but it brings awareness. What you put your attention on expands. That’s a really fun one. 

Another example: some people create games around going for as many no’s as possible. If you make the game to get forty no’s, you’re bound to get some yeses! It makes it fun, because you can say, “Oh, got another no! Moving forward.” That’s a fun way to approach it.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: For a fitness goal—which is another common area to set goals—it could be fifteen minutes per day on whatever that fitness goal is. Didn’t you have a client do this recently, and it was huge for them?

Gigi: Oh, yes, a client started back in April or May, doing fifteen minutes a day. Her body completely changed—she’s on a weightlifting program, just fifteen minutes daily. She’s changed completely. So again, it’s consistency—choosing what it is and sticking with it. Those are the success practices. 

People don’t realize it’s just so hard to get this across, especially when they’re starting out. Consistency really does build to something. Often, people think, “It’s not going anywhere,” so they want to change, and sometimes it’s good to tweak, but from my experience, it’s best to use a time frame. That way you can reflect and decide if a shift is needed. Without commitment, people keep changing and shifting, and nothing sticks.

Makena: Great point. So often it feels like nothing is happening for a certain time, and if people give up too soon, they miss the result. We always say—and Gigi, you taught me this—it’s at least ninety days. 

There’s something magical about a ninety-day window. In my Simplified Business Bootcamp program, I teach this, and people come back and say, “I wasn’t getting results, and then just before the ninety days was up, I suddenly got three clients,” or whatever it was. 

So many people who didn’t make it to ninety days come back saying, “It doesn’t work, I’m frustrated.” So minimum—ninety days of consistency moving towards your goal or game, and something usually starts to happen by then.

Gigi: Yep.

Makena: I think another great time frame for bigger games is eighteen months. A year isn’t always enough; eighteen months gives you more time.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: For making a quantum leap, you’d be amazed at what can happen in eighteen months.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: Last but not least, there’s an app called Everyday—Everyday App—it’s a tracker where you check off daily actions, with pretty visuals and colors. That’s a great resource for daily action. 

Another is the book “The Slight Edge” that we recommend all the time by Jeff Olson. It’s all about the power of micro actions on a consistent basis. 

We’ve shared a lot—Power of Intent episode, World Changer Quiz at www.worldchangerquiz.com (your unique gift and how to make your difference in the world), and those other resources. 

We’ll link everything in the show notes. Thank you, Gigi, for your brilliance.

Gigi: Thank you, Makena. Thank you, everyone.

Makena: Next time! Okay, bye bye.

Makena: Hello, everyone.

Gigi: Hi, everyone. Hi, Makena. Good to see everybody.

Makena: Yeah, we are back in the flow of recording these episodes as we go here after some pre-recorded ones have been going out for a little while. So, super excited. And today we’re going to talk about the art of letting go. 

So, Gigi, you just led a retreat on this topic in Germany.

Gigi: Yes, yes, yes. So much fun. Really, really powerful. It’s such a powerful topic. When do we have time to set aside and have space to reflect enough to spend that time for letting go? It’s very rare. That’s why I love going to the retreats, and I know the ladies that were there, why they loved it so much. It’s just such an amazing place to have this spaciousness outside of your world. It was extremely powerful for the women.

Makena: Well, before we get into the topic, just tell us about the place. Where were you?

Gigi: Oh my god.

Makena: Like, where were you?

Gigi: We were in the fairy tale world. Yes, we were in Oberstorf. Oberstorf—I never say it right.

Makena: Right?

Gigi: In Germany. Yes, Oberstorf in Germany. And it was in the foothills of the Alps. It’s just gorgeous. I mean, it was storybook. It was so incredibly beautiful. If you saw pictures, it doesn’t even look real when you see the pictures. It was a spa hotel, so there were amazing saunas, pools, and cows.

Makena: Very. I was home with my baby, which I love. But yes, I was like, oh, I… Wish I could do both.

Gigi: Yes, yes. So we missed you.

Makena: Well, it looked gorgeous. And you guys were there for seven days.

Gigi: Yes, seven days. We had amazing food and just super fun. And the other thing is, I have to say, the women made it. They were just amazing ladies.

Makena: Awesome. So this was our annual retreat, and we thought, you spent so long preparing for the retreat and developing the content, and the women had such powerful experiences that we wanted to take the topic and share a little bit here on the podcast with you all. 

So for people who are listening, what do you mean by letting go? What are we talking about here?

Gigi: Well, I think there are a lot of different ways that you can let go. In life, sometimes people say, just let that go. Well, this was really focused on letting go not only of the things they’ve been holding for a long time—maybe resentments, hurts, past disappointments—but the focus really went to also about themselves. Where were they hard on themselves or upset, or resented choices they’d made or things they’d been harboring and holding for a long, long time? 

Like I said, we have experiences, and a lot of times we have these things in us and they sit inside our bodies, and we don’t process them through. That was so much the first part of the retreat—doing our releasing ritual first. I sent them out to do that in a short time, where we normally tell people to take at least a day, and here they got three hours. But in that, they were able to get out there and really write and write and just dump out anything that was preventing them from moving forward. That is that letting go of those burdens. 

Like I said to them, we store all those things in our bodies—the pressures, disappointments, anger. Everything, all these trauma things are sitting inside, and we don’t have a chance to release. In the retreat, in seven days, it was a lot of release that happened, and through that, we open up to what’s next. So, yes, I’ll speak to that a little bit.

Makena: No, I think to just set the context—speaking to, why do the letting go?

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: Why is that important? Because a lot of people think, this is a lot, I don’t know if I want to excavate all that.

Right. Well, why do that?

Gigi: Because it creates space—space for you to see what you want to bring in, or what you want, I would say, more to evolve into. We’re not letting go, creating space, and then picking something else to put back in. You go, who am I without this? Without all these things in me? We’re all happy babies, right? 

It’s getting back to that part of yourself that you know and love, that lighter space, and then seeing what’s the next evolution. It’s a little bit like your thing, Makena, the woman you’re stepping into, right? What’s the next phase, who do you want to become and be in your life?

Makena: What’s the alternative if someone doesn’t do the letting go first and they’re trying to get clear on what’s next, or they’re setting goals… then what happens?

Gigi: Yes. They’re seeing through a lens of the pain, the lens of the things that have been there for a long time, and it’s hard to fully embrace, like I said, what your heart desires because maybe your heart is covered up with a lot of emotion. Of course, we didn’t let go of everything, but it was so powerful. With everything that we added into the retreat, there was a huge, I think, reawakening for all the women. 

Everybody said so in such a way that they remembered themselves. I think in life, often we forget who we are because of the pressures and things we’ve been through. So to answer your question, what happens is, you go through life, you’re a little bit cloudy, and, like you said, you don’t really know what you want because you’re harboring grief or pain, and that sits on top of your desires.

Makena: I heard it said one time that disappointment is one of the biggest things for women that holds them back because they hold old disappointments. I remember when I first heard that, I thought it didn’t really apply to me at that time. Then, when I started to look, I saw there were a lot of old things I was holding on to. 

When I allowed that to move through, it really created, like you said, space for looking to see what’s next without coming from, like you’re saying, the lens of disappointment—well, that’s not going to work because this didn’t work, or however that was playing out for me unconsciously at the time.

Gigi: Yes. Disappointment and guilt, that’s another big one for women. We named that person, we went into, who was she and how did she serve—not to make her wrong. She served us all up till this point.

Makena: Right.

Gigi: We want to honor her. We want to give her space in terms of that.

Makena: Thank you.

Gigi: Thank you. I am who I am today because of these things, and I don’t have to carry that along.

Makena: So, to be clear, when you say we named this person, you’re saying you named the version of them…

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: The version of each woman who had the hurts or disappointments or the guilt or who went through those things, who, when they look in, they go, oh, that version of me is holding me back. But you’re saying instead of making that wrong, because I think that’s what a lot of people do—they get frustrated or want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak—you honored that version of them.

Gigi: Yes, we honored her. We even wrote a eulogy for her. Not for your life—we wrote it for her, that part of themselves that was gone, and had her be celebrated and also clearly let go of.

Makena: So in terms of the context here with the art of letting go, it’s again, creating space so that you can see what’s next. Or you said, so that you can really evolve into the version of you, remember who you really are, and evolve into the next version of you. I think that’s good in terms of setting context. I also did want to mention—you talked about the releasing ritual, which we’ve talked about on the podcast before. 

If you guys want to do that process, we actually have it as a free giveaway, and that URL is wayofthemuse.com/lettinggo. 

Lettinggo is the URL—wayofthemuse.com/lettinggo. 

You can actually do that process for yourself; it’s a really powerful one, very in-depth, gets deep.

So what else do you want to share, Gigi, for our listeners about what you guys went through, or how they can approach this for themselves, apart from, you know, that’s a really powerful exercise they can do?

Gigi: Yes. I think the other thing is when you look at letting go, it’s also grieving the part of you that you’re letting go of. I think often we don’t take time to grieve. For example, as we get older, or as you transition into different parts of your life, often we don’t take that time to go, wow, this is a big transition. You just had a baby, right? There’s a certain letting go in that, and there’s absolutely grieving—a life in terms of that. Now you have this person that you’re responsible for for the rest of your life. 

There’s a lot of grieving, and I think that allowance—in the retreat we did, we went into that—the grieving, really immersing yourself in, wow, this part of myself I loved, I had so many great experiences, and that’s passed, that’s done. I think that’s so important as well, to spend some time on that and really see what is the grief you feel there, so you allow yourself to fully emote, to fully feel those feelings.

Makena: It’s interesting. Sunny, my husband, always says that I’m the only person he knows who grieves things in advance, and it’s because I have this awareness which probably comes from you, sharing these things over my lifetime—of those different seasons and cycles and how things are shifting. I zoom out and I go, like you were saying—and not just with motherhood, but that’s a good example because it’s a recent one, but I’ve done this many times in my life—when I know a big transition like that is coming, I start to grieve and process it in advance. You could do it before or after, but for me I start early, and it might just come up in tears, or in talking to Sunny, or journaling, or meditating, or prayer. 

I start to reflect on grieving as an interesting one, because I start to reflect on the things I’m really grateful for—for one thing, like you were saying, that version of me—but also, what is it about the chapter of life that I am maybe concluding? You could call it my pre-motherhood chapter, in this case, or they call it the maiden. What is it about that time that was so beautiful? What did I really appreciate? There’s a kind of grieving that happens there, because you’re honoring it and letting it go, and then, what are my fears, my feelings about what’s coming? That’s something I don’t think a lot of people stop or slow down enough to do, but I feel like it’s a really important thing, really healthy. Is that what you’re talking about here?

Gigi: Absolutely. It’s feel the feelings. We resist the feelings—okay, that’s done, or, oh, sad, but no big deal. Truth is, feel the feelings. Those feelings are there for a reason. I ended the retreat with a part about self-compassion through a book by Christine Neff, I think is her name. The book is “Self-Compassion.” 

I talked about her idea—love your pain because the pain is there, and if you resist it, it sticks. If you love it, you embrace it. You embrace it in such a way that it’s part of you. The more you embrace it, it doesn’t mean that it’ll completely go away, but it does mean it becomes part of you in such a way that it’s fluid. Maybe it does go away, but if you try to get rid of it by resisting or ignoring it, it’s just going to get bigger. The point is, love your pain, love your grief, immerse yourself in it, allow it to go through. When you do that, then you come out the other side so much faster.

Makena: Yeah. When you were talking, I was just reflecting on that—when someone doesn’t want to go in and feel or love their pain, experience it, then, like you’re saying, it often gets stuck in them, or gets bigger…

Gigi: And bigger, more stories happen.

Makena: It seems counterintuitive, though, because people would think by going into it, it would get bigger. I think there are some subtle distinctions we could make here, because there’s a difference between going in and feeling the feelings and loving the pain and allowing things to move through versus what you often call “processing” or sort of recycling in a story over and over again. What is that distinction? I think it’s a really important one.

Gigi: Well, in her book, the next step to that is loving the pain. We even did a process where you close your eyes and feel into your body, feel where you do have pain, and you go into that area. She has something called “soften, soothe,” and I can’t remember the third—allow. When you think about that, if you have physical pain, you go in and soften around the edges, then you soothe it and say, it’s okay, it’s all right. If you have a lower back that’s hurting, it’s okay, I know you carry a lot, it’s all right to feel that. Then you allow the feeling. In that, you embrace it. It’s like you would do to your child or somebody who’s in pain. 

Processing is where we go in and talk about our pain, keep processing and processing. We’re always trying to talk our way through how to get ourselves out of it, and normally it is filled with stories. So it’s not just about the pain.

Makena: Right.

Gigi: I feel this sadness, then I’m going to make up a big story about it, instead of just, I feel sadness. The truth is, when people let go, especially in the process, like our releasing process, they’re letting go of sadness, they have no idea why they’re writing all this stuff down. We don’t know where that little pocket of sadness came from. That could have been from ten years ago, that could have been from three days ago, but we know we’re feeling sadness. When we address it, we allow that. When we process, we start putting a lot of stories to it.

Makena: It’s a really subtle distinction because something like the releasing ritual, you are going to go in and write down a lot of things, a lot of reasons why or whatever. But again, you’re writing it down with the intention to move it through you and to let it go, versus maybe analyze it or understand it or change something. I think that’s a key distinction. You’re not going and talking to a whole bunch of people about it, it’s really a very personal process.

Gigi: So it’s…

Makena: I think there’s something in the intention there, and, like you’re saying, not just recycling through the reasons why or the story. If people do the opposite, if they sit there and process and recycle through, what happens?

Gigi: They build more and more stories. That’s the main thing—people get caught up in a loop with their stories. You know me, I’m all about personal responsibility. I just said that to the mastermind yesterday. I do so many reflective processes with women, and that’s basically all the retreat was. We can look outside ourselves and say everybody’s doing everything to us. But I think the inner work always has to be done first, to see what part we play in everything.

Makena: That’s all right. We were just saying what happens if people do process instead of…

Gigi: So, process—a lot of times what I see is, there’s no personal responsibility. Of course, sometimes processing is important. I just talked to somebody recently and said, with therapy, I agree people need to have time to talk through things and process in that way—walking through. That’s a certain kind of way. What we’re talking about is something very different. We’re not talking about talking, I’m not talking to people about what’s going on or why it’s there or anything. We’re more doing, like you said, the inner work.

Makena: Yeah, yeah. It’s a different kind—they serve different purposes, I guess.

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: Therapy, processing, things like that have value, but this is almost maybe if you don’t feel like you need that, or you’ve already done that, or you know what I’m saying, this is more, you’re at the stage or point of, I’m really ready to let this go, I’m ready to move on and move forward in my life. This is maybe the path to that. Whereas if people stay stuck in the processing, then that can become a loop and they have trouble moving forward. It’s just maybe a different stage of healing or integrating. Again, this is really, at that point of, I’m ready to move forward, to move into what’s next, to create space for that, to evolve. So…

Gigi: Yes, yes. That’s the way the retreats are designed, too. People are showing up, are ready for that, they know that.

Makena: Absolutely. So what else do you want to share?

Gigi: Yes, also, which we did and I think is so important, is being able to move that energy through your body, often through dance or movement. We brought in an amazing yoga teacher, and she also did sound baths and a lot of movement and release—dancing, yelling, all kinds of things. That too was powerful. Then breathwork was added to it. There were a lot of different ways that the women were able to move through that energy, without stories, just allowing that to move through them. That was so powerful.

Makena: Yes. Sometimes doing it just on the mental or emotional level is only one piece. There’s, like, you—I think it’s, who is it, Gabor Mate, that talks about the physical or physiological. Or also, like the book “The Body Keeps the Score.” There’s a physical component to trauma and things that we hold. Energy and emotions manifest in our bodies in different ways. While you can get to some of it through processes or through feeling and moving emotions, one of the most powerful ways is through the body. That’s really a key point. People can look into, like you’re saying, different approaches and see what fits for them—breathwork, yoga, making sounds or yelling. When women come to the retreats, they find a new entry point for themselves, right?

Gigi: Yes, yes. So that was very exciting. We also had foot reflexology—like, no free foot reflexology I’ve ever had before in my life.

Makena: What was different?

Gigi: It was powerful. I won’t tell her secrets, but yes, it was powerful for all of us. So it was also a letting go, definitely. Then, of course, we moved into—with this new space—who are you creating? Looking into who is the person that’s evolving when this is gone—not what do I want to put inside, add and fill all up, but who am I now? Who is this being that’s awakened, feels lighter and brighter, centering from that place? I have a lot of processes and ways that I shared with the women to do this. 

We called it “relaxed resonance,” which is that state of being in your body, being yourself, feeling completely yourself. Then that ability to go out and make things happen still, walk back into your life and be in this state of flow. All the women would tell you that came back, they have this sense of feeling so powerful in themselves with all the effort out of it. I call it easeful intention. We still want that “make it happen” intention, but we want it from this easeful place. I make that joke of, I can get up in the morning and say, oh my god, I’ve got a lot to do, and… that was the sound.

Makena: A little animated there, Gigi.

Gigi: Or I can get up and say, I’ve got a lot to do today; let me get my list down here and start tackling my list. My approach—everything, that’s what I call easeful intention. I want this, I want to make this happen, but I’m going to do it from a place of ease instead of effort. So a lot was talked about there and a lot done there.

Makena: What’s the connection between those two, or is there a connection? Does doing the letting go, if someone’s listening and thinking about doing these processes—whether that’s the releasing ritual, things to move it through the body, just sitting and loving the pain or grieving—some of these different things we’ve talked about, does that inform or support that state of easeful intention? What’s the connection there?

Gigi: Well, like I said, when you let go like that, you choose your way of being. That’s where—just like they chose the person they might have been letting go of, the people pleaser or the control freak or whatever it was, we all named them. Then we look and go, OK, this new person—the perception and the way she steps out—is from a place of ease.

Makena: That’s right.

Gigi: That’s what I share with all women. That’s one of my main things—first in the mastermind, shifting women to that. Effort is awesome; ease is incredible, still with intention. They go together beautifully because you’re not burdened and pulled down by all the resentment, pressures, whatever was in there. Now you have this opportunity to not only see through a different perspective but also energetically act in a different way, tune into your body. You’ve done a lot of release; now don’t put a bunch of stuff in. 

Now you just go, OK, I’m going to approach life with more ease. If I tell you that, everybody knows what that means. They feel that immediately in their body—OK, if I walk across the room, if I approach that in a more easeful way, how would I walk? We all know what that feels like.

Makena: Yes. There’s so much we could talk about here. I don’t want to go down too many rabbit holes because it’s a whole other topic, but it is this piece of not going too much to flow—we call it go mode and flow mode. Not going too much into the flow, because I think a lot of times when people start to tap into more their femininity, or the flow, they sort of get into the state and nothing really happens, either. It’s hard to move things forward in their life. What you’re talking about with easeful intention is keeping an energy that moves forward, but doing it from a place of ease.

Gigi: Yes, and there is a slight distinction there, because effort is “I’m going to go do this and do it well,” and easeful intention is—I think of it like this, since the way I described it to the women—the intention is there, I’m going to get this done, and there’s a certain kind of inner resonance and commitment, and I’m going to do it in an easeful way. It’s actually stronger than effort.

Makena: I think it’s one of your hallmarks or big pieces of your legacy, is that, because it is the transformation that happened in me, hugely, in terms of your mentorship of me and our work together over the years—going from that effort all the time, all day, every day, to more of that easeful approach. I have different chapters and stages in my life, but definitely throughout our years of working together, still going for moving things in the world, doing business, moving things forward. That’s so much of what we see in our clients, right, like you’re saying, that go through our mastermind, for example, the Wealthy World Changers, which this year is called Fierce Femme.

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: So much of what we see with the women over the years is that transition to unwinding and letting go of so much, like you’re talking about, and then stepping into easeful intention, where they are getting results in their lives and businesses, moving their dreams forward, but also doing it from a very different place than they ever did before—more ease, more flow, more relaxation.

Gigi: Yes, absolutely.

Makena: OK. Well, that’s a little preview of where all this would be heading if you’re going to do some of this letting go in your own life, or maybe you’re already doing it. Anything else you want to share, Gigi, or is that pretty much summed up for today?

Gigi: No, I think from today, it’s just to share the experience, and I think to our listeners, just look at what pieces resonate for you. Like Makena said, if you are holding on to a lot, I highly, highly, highly recommend you do the releasing ritual. We have a video with it, right, Makena?

Makena: Yes.

Gigi: That walks you through it and it’s so powerful. Always be looking to see who you are evolving into. We get to recreate ourselves constantly—I’m trying to do it all the time. It’s what keeps me young, always looking at what’s the next thing that will surprise people. We get to reinvent ourselves all the time, and it allows us not to get stuck and believe that we are this way or get a story that this is our life or our way. You do have to let go of some baggage, otherwise you’re carrying a lot of stuff around.

Makena: That’s one last point that I wanted to touch on—there’s something in the art of letting go around letting go of the stories of who you think you are, too. When you are letting go of, maybe disappointments or things you might be mad at yourself or other people for, for me, so much of my journey and just you mentoring me over the years was I had certain ideas about who I was—I was serious, I was structured, whatever. Those had truth to them, but I had to really let go of those views of myself in order to evolve. 

As you’re going through some of these processes, some of that stuff might come up. You’ve got to give yourself room to evolve and not box yourself in and say, I am this way, and believe that you’re always going to be that way. As human beings, we have this incredible capacity to evolve, to become—maybe not about becoming something you’re not, like you always say, it’s becoming more of who you really are, but not the version you’ve thought you are. It’s some other version that wants to emerge. As I was reflecting on some of the things you’re sharing and my own experience with that, that was really key for me.

Gigi: Yes, yes. That’s a really good point. It’s true, when you let go of that, then you were able to open up to your creativity, the bold side of yourself, all those different aspects that are really you.

Makena: Where before I would have said, “I’m not creative at all,” or “I am this way, I’m not this way.” If you hear yourself saying those kinds of statements about yourself, that’s where to pause and go, wait a second, what if I got curious instead—how am I creative?

Gigi: Yes, there’s lots of creativity.

Makena: Or how do I want to be? Just opening up to the evolution of yourself.

Gigi: So…

Makena: All right, everyone, that is our rambly podcast, but those are some of my favorites today, and we look forward to seeing you all in the next episode. 

Please share, as always, if there’s someone in your life that you feel would enjoy this or get value from this, please share it with them. We’re on all the major podcast platforms, and as always, we love when you review, give us a positive review or rate us—that helps us get the podcast out to more people. Thank you, Gigi.

Gigi: Thank you.

Makena: See you all next time.

Gigi:
 Hello, friends, and welcome back. Today we’re going to be diving into something that I know many of us crave. It’s not just more freedom, but a life that actually feels like us, right? A lifestyle that actually reflects our passions and our deepest desires. 

Honestly, for me, that lifestyle has always included travel. Those of you who know me well know that. It’s not just vacations—I mean really going on travel adventures: soul-opening, deeply connected experiences. I love going to places I’ve never been to and meeting people who are new and interesting.

The great thing about my life is that I was able to incorporate that with my work. That’s the place where I really come alive. I’ve spent 40 years doing it—and will do it probably until I can’t get on a plane any longer. For me, that’s been such a huge part of my lifestyle.

So, for you, I want to ask a few questions to get you thinking, because I’m going to share in this podcast today the way I’ve created my lifestyle. As we’ve talked about on other podcasts, there are different seasons in life, so we have different ways of creating our lifestyle at different times. One question to start asking yourself as you listen is: What do I really, really want? And—so importantly—how do I want to live? What is that perfect lifestyle for me?

The truth is, we all have this lifestyle living inside of us. If you’re not fully immersed in yours, it’s like a vision, a dream. It’s something sitting inside us, this feeling that there is actually a rhythm that fits who we are. But what happens, I’ve found in working with tens of thousands of people over my career, is that we try to silence that desire because we convince ourselves maybe it’s too much, or it’s impractical. 

Often, I hear from people that it’s selfish—which, honestly, I think it’s more selfish not to go for what you want. The truth is, your dream lifestyle is your dream for a reason. It’s something that’s in you, and it’s trying to show you something. It’s trying to push you into the life you’re supposed to be living, the way you’re supposed to be living, the place that is in alignment for you.

As we go through this, I’m going to share different kinds of lifestyles, and maybe one of them resonates, or maybe you take bits and pieces from several. The first one is the adventure lifestyle. That is driven by movement, by discovery. It’s when you really use your curiosity, and it’s kind of that thrill of the unknown. 

It’s for the person who always has that bag half-packed—I think that’s me. Some dream of trekking through Patagonia, hiking, climbing mountains, living out of a van. That’s not me, those aren’t my dreams, but that’s for the person who’s more nature-focused and feels more at home in nature.

Again, whatever lifestyles we talk about here, you can absolutely take pieces of different ones and create your own. Then there would be the cultural traveler—not just about movement, but also about meaning. Meaning is important to them. Maybe they want to live in Paris for three months, or study the Japanese tea ceremony in Kyoto. I’d like to do that one, actually. Or learn Italian by living in a Tuscan village. It’s travel, but depth and education is what they really long for.

You can see, just from those two examples, you can start to really think about what’s something for you that you’d love to incorporate into your life and your lifestyle. For me, that dream has always involved travel and having unusual experiences. I’ve had a lot of different experiences in my life. I can feel myself lighting up as I talk about meeting interesting people, having clients I work with and friendships from around the world. That has been fun for me. I even went and lived in Europe for five years, in Amsterdam, and in many ways that life and that lifestyle resonated so deeply with me. It’s always hard for me in the US because I love having access to a city, the foot traffic, not having to get in a car, riding my bicycle everywhere. But again, there are different seasons in our lives, and there are times when we change.

I’ve been getting on planes since, goodness gracious, the early 1980s, and I’ve been flying for my business for 40 years now. Like I said earlier, I’ll probably do it until I just cannot do it anymore. When that day comes, I always say, hopefully, I’ll get myself a dog, and that dog will walk me and I’ll create a completely different lifestyle. That will be a different season in my life.

For you, it’s so important to see what are the elements of things that you love. Sometimes you see that through people you respect or people you know. Sometimes we see it through celebrities and think, “I’d love to live their life.” Often people think, “I can’t do that.” One of the main things people tell me is they want to travel. I hear that more than anything. 

Often, I’ve heard from people, “But it’s just so expensive.” Yes, it can be very expensive if you’re going to fly first class and stay in a five-star hotel every time. If you don’t have the means to do that, travel will feel out of reach. But there are so many different ways to travel.

Often, I loved going to cities, and for many years, people would bring me to a city—let’s say Munich, Germany, which is a place where I’ve done a lot of work and have many friendships and clients—and through my career I would stay with different people. Someone would introduce me, or if I was leading a workshop, someone would invite me to stay in their home. I wasn’t staying at a five-star hotel. Honestly, a lot of times, a coach ticket over to Europe—especially back in the day—can be almost less expensive than flying around the US. I think people just don’t think like that. They think of travel as vacationing. For me, honestly, I probably should have settled down more over the years, and some of my kids would definitely say so, but by design I chose a life of traveling and working in places I’d love to vacation in.

So, now it’s your turn. I want to give you some questions to start asking yourself: What really inspires you? I’m inspired by going to new and different places, not staying in the nicest hotel or a resort the whole time. That’s not what I want to do—I want to experience it. I want to get out and feel the people, the culture, and be part of the experience. It’s important for you to look at what inspires you. Maybe it is that you love five-star hotels—and I do love a good five-star hotel, don’t get me wrong—but it’s just not the way I would choose to travel all the time.

Another question is: What do you stand for? What’s important to you? What kind of people do you want to be around? How do you want to feel every day when you wake up? I think that’s a really important one because it’s about seeing what’s really important. Amsterdam really resonated with me because the water was there; I lived on a canal, I had the North Sea behind me, was up in a penthouse with a beautiful view. That was so important to me at that time in my life.

You have to see for yourself what you want life to look like. The most important thing is, like I said, how do you want life to feel? Here’s the bottom line: you get to choose, you get to design it. 

For years, people would ask me, “How did you design this life?” Back when my children were young, we would travel with them to Europe; they were homeschooled, so we’d spend three months in Europe, two months in Hawaii, and the rest of the time in Austin, Texas. People were shocked: “How do you do that?” It didn’t happen overnight. It happened by design, by planning, by looking at what we wanted at that time and how we could create it with our life and work.

This isn’t something that’s trendy or a new phase—it’s about really living that felt experience and having that day-to-day life experience that you love, or at least having aspects of it. Another example could be a very luxurious or elegant lifestyle. This is someone who feels very alive in a gown, walking into candlelit galas, sipping champagne with purpose-driven people, staying at beautiful hotels, hosting dinner parties, and living life like it’s an art. I like that one, too.

Then there are those who want a lifestyle that’s more rooted: to stay in one place, live more slowly, maybe grow their own food, have chickens in the yard, wake up in the mountains, watch the sunrise, be close to nature, and be very grounded and nourished, often with a focus on spirituality. That’s a very different kind of lifestyle. It’s really about how you wake up in the morning, what you see, what you hear, and even what you want to wear. Do you want to walk barefoot in the grass with your coffee, or sit in a café in a busy city?

I remember a woman I worked with a long time ago. She changed her lifestyle drastically—from being a city girl and very business-driven, she decided to have kids later in life, found some land, built a home, and had her kids there. She completely changed her life and her kids grew up in the country. She went back to her roots. So don’t get something in your mind that you can’t do it. If it’s something you’re longing for and it’s in you, it’s possible.

We often stop ourselves, but the truth is, if you ask yourself, “What does my soul want now?” or “What is it longing for now?” and also “What season am I in?” you may find opportunities. Do you have the flexibility to move to the country, to Paris, to change everything? Sometimes this can happen gradually. What kind of life will help you grow? 

For me, my path has been about growth and learning, and that’s why I love travel—because when I travel, I bring home those experiences.

There’s a passage I’ll read you from a book called Why Travel Matters by Craig Storti, which says it perfectly:

Tourism is largely to escape from, whereas true travel is arriving at.
Tourism is mainly recreational, while travel is primarily educational.
Tourists want to relax; travelers want to be stimulated.
The goal of tourism is to see the sights; the goal of travel is to add to understanding.

That distinction is everything. Travel for me is not about escaping—it’s about learning. I always learn so much and it makes me expand. I become a better person when I travel and have these experiences. He makes the distinction that real travel is not in your own country; it’s going to a foreign country, setting yourself up to be uncomfortable, experiencing a different culture, and sometimes being really humbled.

Not that I go to other cultures and pity them—I go with deep respect because so much of the time, I learn from them. I learn so much about their way of life, their food, their simplicity. It makes me a person with more depth.

If you love the more touristy way, that’s completely fine. That’s a choice. Travel brings me home to myself because I come back changed.

A few more ideas about lifestyles: a creative studio lifestyle—where someone’s life is around their art. They might have a loft, canvases, books, photography, and their days are spent expressing themselves and making art. Or it could be a spiritual or sacred lifestyle, with everything built around healing and stillness. Think about going to Bali: there are so many temples, morning meditations, yoga retreats, deep spiritual study, and creating a home that’s a peaceful sanctuary.

You probably hear things that sound interesting to you. 

Another thing I’d like to point out is that many clients have asked me through the years how I traveled so much with my kids and what’s a good way to do that. I love sharing this: when you want to travel with your kids, you can make travel part of your family culture. Choose a destination together, and give each child a role if they’re old enough. Someone can research the food, another the history, another the adventures. Suddenly, the family isn’t just on vacation—it’s a co-creative experience. Your kids aren’t just being entertained, they’re involved, interested, learning, seeing how to connect with the world. It’s a powerful way to have real experiences instead of just vacations.

You can have a family freedom lifestyle—maybe focused on quality time, conscious parenting, education through real life, homeschooling on the road, living abroad as a family. We lived in Amsterdam and also in Germany for several months because at that time, we really wanted to travel with our children, not just for work but to be there long enough to rent a place, experience life. Some of my kids would tell you: Mariah learned to ride her bike in Amsterdam at Vondelpark, and we were all on bikes. So many fun things.

I recently read the book Die with Zero, I don’t have the author’s name here. One thing that stuck with me is how he constantly talks about experiences. I have to tell you, I’m an experience junkie and that’s part of my lifestyle choice. The bottom line is: when we die, all we have to take with us are our memories. We can’t take our stuff, but in our later years, if we’ve used our time well—had experiences with our family and friends—we carry that with us. It shapes our identity, brings us joy, perspective, and meaning.

When you talk about designing your lifestyle, you also talk about designing the memories you want to make. What memories do you want to have? What feelings do you want to have later when you think about those memories?

My invitation for you today is to sit down and take a deep breath. Ask yourself: What do you really, really want? Where do you want to live? What kind of mornings do you want? What kind of people do you want around you? What experiences light up your soul? How do you want to feel every day? When you design your lifestyle from your heart, everything else—your business, your relationships, your purpose—will come alive because you are putting yourself in there. 

Maybe you want to wear silk robes every day. I was watching this 60s movie the other day, and Makena and I were laughing because the mother was in these feathery silk robes every day. We were laughing about how fun it would be to have those. But again, that’s a lifestyle choice.

Designing your life doesn’t mean you have to flip everything upside down tomorrow. It’s not about burning everything down, leaving your life, making some dramatic leap. It’s about starting to be aware and reconnecting with the truth of what you really want. As I said in the beginning: What is the lifestyle that sits in you? What’s the life you feel nudging at you, that you know you’re supposed to be living, but maybe you’ve lost yourself? All it takes is adding one little piece at a time, doing things that bring that out in you.

It can be as simple as planning a short trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit, or maybe a place that really calls your spirit. 

Maybe it’s creating a vision board or journaling your ideal day if you don’t know what your lifestyle is. That’s what I recommend: start journaling every day, asking, “If I could live any kind of life, what would I do?” Prompt yourself with little questions each day and write, stream of consciousness—don’t edit yourself. Sometimes all it takes is booking a retreat, saying yes to an opportunity you’ve been hesitating about. Every little choice you make begins to create your lifestyle.

Here’s an interesting thing: Sometimes we think, “Oh, I want this life,” and as soon as we allow ourselves to try it out, we may see it’s actually not for us. That’s the powerful thing about starting to explore your lifestyle. Once you make aligned choices, it ripples through every part of your life. Your creativity will come back, your business will become more magnetic, your relationships will shift, and your nervous system will settle down the more that you have what’s right for you in your life.

For me, my lifestyle has been about travel and belonging on the road, not just in a place but to the world. I’m so blessed to have had the opportunity to travel so much and meet so many incredible people. I always say I belong to the world; I belong not just to my children, but to all children in the world. If I can be in service to people around the world, my contribution touches the lives of people everywhere. When I touch an adult, I naturally touch a child. 

That’s the truth that I live. I’m a bit of a gypsy—I say I carry that from my Czech heritage, from the roots in Moravia, from that gypsy soul—the good kind of gypsy, the one that seeks and sees and brings people together. That’s really what I’ve done through my life and career.

Again, maybe that’s not your path at all. Whatever your version is, claim it. Claim the lifestyle that matches you, because the world really needs more people out there living their lives, not more people doing a checklist. We need more people who are awake and in their purpose. When you do that, when you’re living the right life for you, you make a contribution just by being a role model.

A couple more lifestyles before I close. One could be the jet-set entrepreneur: she runs a business everywhere, bounces between cities, works out of coworking spaces. One week she’s in Lisbon, the other week in Cape Town, always meeting new people, scaling her business, with a trendy and flexible style.

Another is the community and connection lifestyle, built around shared living, intentional communities—you see more of that these days. Maybe a co-housing setup where there are regular dinner circles. It’s all about belonging, being part of a community, supporting each other, and collective growth. The blue zones—if you’ve seen or heard about the documentary—they studied all the blue zones around the world. It’s fascinating because they’re creating blue zones in the US now; there’s one outside Tucson, Arizona. That’s a lifestyle choice—communities designed a certain way, with specific eating habits, ways of moving, and connection.

Those are a lot of different ideas! 

So your takeaway today is to start asking those deeper questions and be honest about what lights you up. Stop apologizing for your dreams. Start designing a life that reflects your soul because you deserve it. More than that, the world needs you lit up. More lit-up people are going to do better things and heal this world.

Until we meet again, go live it, go dream it, go do it, and start your dream lifestyle now. Thank you so much for being here. Please share this if you know someone who is feeling a little down or doesn’t know what to do—maybe this can be an inspiration for them. Thank you, thank you.