Makena: Hello, everyone, and welcome back. Hi, Gigi.

Gigi: Hello, Makena.

Makena: We are recording two back to back episodes, so we’re wearing clothes. Good to see you again. Yeah. If any of you are watching this on YouTube, you’re gonna be like, yeah, yeah. This was recorded at the same time. You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes when you listen, right?

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: So we just talk. Talked in the last episode about power couples and what that really is and the impact on your financial reality and your success over time, but also your family and your legacy. And something we kind of anticipate as people, you know, wanting to go a little deeper here. 

And also just talking about, you know, something I really wanted to touch on is that this idea that relationships, you know, should just work or something or, you know, this kind of concept you often talk about Gigi, which is like, we weren’t really taught about relationships in school, right? Yeah. 

So I’ve been blessed to have you as my mom and a mentor to really educate me about how can you have not just a great relationship, but even what we’re calling a power couple dynamic, which, as we talked about in the last episode, is really this relationship that’s like a battery pack for you. It’s this relationship where you’re so aligned, you’re on each other’s team, you help each other grow and creating more success and more fulfillment. 

Last week was a little bit more the theory, and this week will be theory as well, but also a bit more practical about what this isn’t. And then what it is, I guess. 

So we’re calling this like the cost of a relationship on autopilot because so much of what we see is people in relationship who are a little bit on autopilot. Can you tell us what that actually means, Gigi? Like, what do you mean by relationship autopilot for couples?

Gigi: Just that they are in their lives, they’re busy, they’re going for it. And it’s always that we’re so busy, we don’t have time for, you know, spend time together. We’re pass each other like ships in the night or whatever. And so we have our kids, if they have children, just their lives are just so incredibly busy. 

And so it’s always, yeah, we have a great relationship, but there’s not the attentiveness or the intentionality that we talked about, you know, in the previous episode that’s so important to really building a great relationship and one that does become a power couple. And what happens is you Know, we just kind of assume, oh, my partner, they know, they. I love them because, you know, we’re building this life together and we’re all so busy together. But in reality, you know, maybe one of the partners is really checked out a bit or really hurting or really feel is longing for more connection and more time together.

Makena: Yeah. And a lot of times you. Like we touched on in the last episode also, is that people focus a lot on their careers and businesses or their families. Right?

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re actually taught to build our career, careers, our wealth, but relationships are left to chance. You know, like you said, it’s. Nobody gave us that manual on how to have a great relationship. And so we think they’re just supposed to work out. You just. You go through the motions and you do everything. You figure it out as you go. And you can do that to one degree. 

But, you know, just think about that. True success happens from also, of course, trial and error, but also from getting in there and finding the things that work and putting time and attention into it. And we do that so much in our businesses. You know, the check the boxes mentally of house kids, business success, you know, that equals relationship success. But it’s not true. It’s not true. Yeah. And so what happens is we start pouring everything into the external things around us while our actual foundation weakens.

Makena: Yeah. And I feel like you see this in couples a lot where from the outside you go, oh, they have a great relationship, and then five, 10, 15, 20 years down the road, they divorce or they separate and you’re like, wait a second, how did that happen? 

Yeah, it seemed like they had so much going for them, but it is this thing a lot of the time of the relationship got put somehow on autopilot, on the back burner. They were so focused on their careers and. And raising their kids and everything else. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I think what you’re just pointing to here is that you can do both. It may feel really difficult from where you sit, but with some intentionality, it is possible to really continue to grow and foster depth and connection and meaning and shared vision and all these things that we talked a lot about in the previous episode. Right.

Gigi: Yeah. And I’m going to bring this up just because it’s been all over the media. You know, if you look at somebody like Michelle and Barack Obama. Right. Who everybody would say is. Is a power couple. Right. And then all of this stuff has come out and about that, you know, they’re having challenges, and these challenges have been going on for a long time. And of course, I don’t know all of the story, but what has been said and who knows how accurate this is, But I think bits and pieces of it are accurate. Accurate. And I think even Michelle Obama kind of talked about it on a podcast she does with her brother. But the thing was that there were times where I think she just didn’t feel attended to, whatever. And they were so busy. And so in that. Now all of this is coming up. And so there you have it right there. I think part of the issue there was the relationship was kind of an autopilot. Everything else was important. And again, somehow the systems weren’t put into place to create that. That sense of connectedness. Even though, of course, I mean, he had one of the biggest jobs in. In the world. Right. But in that there. There still was, you know, could be a way that the relationship was tended to, and they. They really could have put that in there to go, hey, this is the most important thing in the world.

Makena: Yeah, I love that. You always know. I didn’t even know any of this was going on out there. Gigi always knows all the relationship gossip.

Gigi: Let’s call it negative bias.

Makena: She reads People magazine, but not just because she likes to read it. I’m outing you here. But because she comes and then she tells me all of the celebrities relationship dynamics. She’s like this person.

Gigi: And that person is really happening behind the scenes. Yeah. Because I watch and I’m like, I can see also.

Makena: So fascinating. So I’m getting all my latest.

Gigi:

People magazine does not come out weekly anymore. I don’t know if you know about.

Makena:

That, so I do not know about that. Oh, my goodness. There’s a deficit in our lives here. So you mentioned systems. And so can you just briefly touch on that? 

Like, what do you mean by systems? Because you said they could have put systems in place. And how is that different from what most people. Because again, and I think a lot of people listening to this episode, some people will be in the place of, like, maybe they are having some challenges, but a lot of people are going to be in that place where they think things are pretty good. Right. But we’re talking about, like, hey, how intentional are you really being here? You know, are you just assuming it’s kind of working and going to continue to work, or are you being intentional about really building the quality of your relationship over time? 

So what would be maybe even if you just give one example of a system?

Gigi: That system is a weekly meeting about your relationship. You know, about Your personal life, about what’s going on with you and what’s going on in your connection together, and, you know, what’s working and what’s not working and where do you need support. And those conversations, and those have to be consistent. They have to be regular when things come up. They could be talked through there. And then if there isn’t enough time, then what’s the solution to creating the time? And so you don’t. What happens is people just get so busy, they don’t make this little bit of time on a weekly basis. And then things just pile up and pile up. And we all know once things pile up to a certain degree, we’ve. When we start talking about it or arguing about it, it has nothing to do with the real issue anymore because so many different things have come into place. Right. But that navigating and the intentionality of having a weekly meeting where you are able to really talk. 

And you and Sunny have developed something beautiful. I think you developed it. Which is called what’s on your heart. Right. Which you do.

Makena: Yeah. We haven’t. We have a process. We do. This is less so about us talking about the relationship specifically. It’s more just in general, but it is a kind of a sharing process, and it’s called what’s on your heart. We do have a freebie around this. I’ll have to find the URL and I’ll share it in just a minute for those of you listening. That really walks you through it. But it is an intentional sharing practice that gives us an opportunity to really go deep with each other. And we usually do it weekly, a couple times a month, something like that. And yeah, we always feel so much more connected because even though we spend a lot of time together, we both work from home, we’re busy, you know, we have a lot going on. And it’s a different quality of conversation than just chit chatting about, how was your day today? Right.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: So I love that example of a system. And we won’t go deeply into all these, but I know that you work with couples around systems around their intimacy and systems around their families and around their, you know, financial success and a lot of different areas. So that’s really a core concept, I think, that I just wanted to. To highlight there. 

What about energy leaks, like. Or just leaks in relationships? Because I know that’s something you talk about. What are couples who are on autopilot? What are they, let’s say, losing out on or. Yeah, what. What do you mean when you talk about drains or leaks in a relationship.

Gigi: Yeah, it’s those unspoken tensions, you know, the things that we don’t have time to talk about because there’s no no again system put in place to talk about them. And these lingering conflicts, maybe something that came up, never got worked through, and what happens is they steal your mental bandwidth. Oh, sorry, close. Just protecting the house right now. So those things, those are drains on the energy and we, we touched on those in the previous podcast. And those really, those cost you, boy. Because they go into everything like I talked about before, you know, it’s disagreements about how to do things. It’s maybe somebody’s not pulling their weight in a certain area and you never get talk it through. So then what you do is you build up this resentment and these things in you, and then that creates a certain kind of perspective and you start to see your partner through this lens of these energy drains, these unspoken tensions. And so it triggers different things that normally wouldn’t bother you. And then there’s also a lot in.

Makena: People in long term relationships at this point. Yeah, I just feel like this is, it’s been normalized almost, you know, like people, it’s normalized for it to be like, oh, just sweep that under the rug. And people go, oh, it’s not that big a deal. But then what happens, I see this all the time. I’m sure you do too, is that these resentments build and these things fester and that is a huge strain on the quality of the relationship and can lead to, again, a lot of bigger issues as time goes on.

Gigi: Absolutely. And it, it, people don’t realize it started from something so simple. You know, I led workshops around the world for 15 years for women on the topic of relationship. And when it got down to it, there was usually one fight that people were having and it was then mirrored through all these different arguments they were having. But underneath there was one issue, like we talked about sex, and then the. On top of that, it would be all this other stuff, you know, and so it’s where it starts. And people know, I mean, it’s, I hate to say it’s a serious thing, you know, in my world of working with people and to watch that their, their relationships, you know, have deteriorated to a certain point to where a lot of times people can’t get it back or, you know, they felt so unseen and so unappreciated that then they started having an affair. And these are all real things, you know, Real things. And that’s why for me, I’m so passionate about this is how do you. How do you just put some intention out, intentionality, and some. Some awareness into this? Stop and make this important before things get out of hand.

Makena: Yeah. Because everybody thinks it wouldn’t happen to me. We have this great relationship, and it’s not to put fear into things, but it is to put awareness in that awareness. Those things fester if they’re not addressed. And you don’t want to just sweep things under the rug. I think that’s one of the core things that Sunny and I have been committed to in our relationship, largely because of what you’ve taught me. But we just made a commitment early on. We do not sweep things under the rug. Like, if something comes up, we may not be able to talk about it right in that moment, but we’re going to talk about it. You know, it’s going to get addressed in a reasonable time frame because we would rather have that uncomfortable conversation or, you know, series of uncomfortable conversations sometimes, then let something foster.

Gigi: Oh, yeah, yeah. And another way is it shows up in business. You know, if. If you are stressed in your relationship, you’re feeling resentful in your relationship again, being present completely in your work and your job and everything, there’s a piece of you that is going to see life through that filter of resentment. It’s going to color the way you make decisions is going to color how you are as a leader. Is it colors how you are as a parent? Completely.

Makena:

You know, it’s just distracting.

Gigi:

Yeah, it’s distracting. Yeah. And then, of course, there’s the intimacy that, you know, gets less and less, and then we just don’t have time. And then there’s excuses. And like you said, it’s normalized. You know, everybody. Everybody’s like this. It’s been together this long, and. And it takes a toll on the relationship and on the couple because that’s their place to. To reconnect, to re. Energize, to, you know, understand each other again at a different level than talking and a place to really grow and develop with each other and care for each other in such a way that they learn what. What does this person want? And this is what does this person want? And. And in that, there’s a certain level of compassion that stays open there when you’re intimately connected and when you lose that, there’s an edge that comes into a relationship in a way we view our partners. I’ve seen this happen time after time.

Makena:

That’s a really important one because a lot of people. A lot of people put that one on autopilot or put it on the back burner, especially as the years go on in relationship and sometimes never get it back, you know, and they go, oh, it’s not that important, or whatever. We’re just busy. It’s just the kids. But that’s where people are more, like, you always say, like roommates. Right. As they. As they go further along and something does get lost there, right?

Gigi: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Quality of. I mean, since our senses, you know, the senses close down, you know, and. And you don’t feel life as richly, you know, so. And then there’s the legacy loss, you know, the. The. The opportunity to create something together, this bigger game, to be excited together, to grow together in such a way that your life becomes an inspiration instead of just growing something, you know, and. And waiting for retirement and.

Makena: Yeah, I think that’s something we talked about a lot in the last episode, but in case somebody hasn’t listened to that episode, I don’t think that’s something people are going to understand as readily, like what mean by legacy loss. I don’t think a lot of people have even really thought about that in their relationship beyond maybe like, oh, family is legacy, or, you know, something like that. So what do you mean in terms of. We’re talking about leaks or drains when people’s relationship is on autopilot. So you’re saying what is it exactly that is getting lost there, your connection.

Gigi:

Together and really growing, something that in your later years, you feel like you’re passing something on. You feel like you’re leaving something to the world. And if you have your partnership, of course, you can do that individually, but also as a couple, you know, we talked about in the last episode, you become like a role model and the joy of doing something with your partner, if you’ve been together a long time, the joy of being together in later years and having something that you both feel really great about or a game you have together, it makes the relationship continue to grow. You know, it gives you something outside of just being in a relationship. It gives you something to do together that is bigger than both of you.

Makena:

It’s like that quote, right? If you’re not growing, you’re dying, which is kind of intense. But, I mean, you do see that people just kind of go on autopilot, or like you said, they eventually retire and they’ve built up this whole thing to retirement, and then they’re bored out of their mind.

Gigi:

Right? Yeah. You know, for decades. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that’s everything in life, in relationship, too. You’re either expanding or contracting. And if you’re not growing together, you’re contracting, you really are. You can grow in separate, separate ways, but ultimately down the road the relationship will grow apart.

Makena:

Yeah. So what’s the thing that finally like kind of wakes people up, so to speak? Because again, most people don’t think that a lot of this applies to them or what makes people realize like, oh, we are on autopilot and maybe we need to change something here or get some support.

Gigi:

Yeah. One thing is, you know, people get to a certain point in their life, I often see this, and they’re very successful. They have everything in terms of externally and here they are and they’re with this person and they’ve taken all this time to build this. They put their relationship on autopilot and they wake up one day and they go, I don’t even know this person. And not only that, I don’t even really like them anymore. And, and, and so, or maybe I like them some, but I don’t know them anymore. I don’t know how to access them. I don’t know what they like. And so if they want to stay together and people get to this point, then they. It’s a big wake up call and sometimes a really tough wake up call because both people are going to have to change. That’s all there is to it. You’re going to have to grow. Yeah. You have to do the work that you didn’t do all that time to get to know each other again and to work through and really understand and have compassion for each other. Yeah, that’s a big one.

Makena: How does attach that before they get to that point.

Gigi: Again, going back to what we’re talking about is being willing to set the time aside early on to attend to your relationship that it becomes, I mean, with my couples and power couples, my first thing for them is your relationship is top priority. Because if it’s not, it won’t survive. It will, it will survive, it won’t thrive. And if you’re okay with that, that’s fine. But if you’re not and you really want something exceptional, you want something that you feel loved and appreciated and you feel excited, inspired by this person that you’re, you’ve chosen to spend your life with, then we gotta step back and we have to see how do you make this person your priority? How do you make the relationship your priority? But first and foremost, you have to make yourself the priority.

Makena: Guessing that’s part of what you teach in your program. How do you do that? How do you make yourself the priority and then your relationship, especially when you’re busy?

Gigi: Yeah, yeah.

Makena: You know, so much going on because you said the relationship will survive, but maybe it won’t over time.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: You know, that’s the hard truth.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other thing is, you know, a crisis comes up, you know, somebody, you know, when we have to. Somebody gets sick or there is an affair that happens, and then people are shocked and then hurt. And then. But then a lot of times people say, okay, we really want to make this work. We want to stay together. And, you know, just going back to. The longer you wait, the harder it is to turn it around.

Makena: Yeah.

Gigi: But not waiting. It’s not possible for the crisis. Yeah. Not waiting for the crisis. Yes.

Makena: Yeah. So on the flip side, and we did touch on this again in the last relationship, but I just want to paint the picture for people of like, what’s. What’s the alternative? Right. We’ve talked a lot about how things can go wrong or haywire, you know, but on the other hand, you. You often talk about relationships being like a battery pack. So can you just describe that or define that a little bit for people? Like, what’s possible there if they are being proactive.

Gigi:

Yeah. When you are being proactive and you start doing the work, you know, I’m going to say the work together, putting the time in to have time for your relationship. And that is intimacy. That is the time you spend talking through things, the time you set aside for time together. The. And then you really align with each other. You really get down and get honest with each other. Hey, you know, this is what I need. This is what I want. And same with the other person. And you work together to build something that you. You can work together on, and you do have that game that’s bigger than you, then what happens is so much when the alignment starts to happen, the energy starts to build, when there’s no longer little things left to fester. And if something comes up, like with you and Sunny, that you go in and you manage it and you go, what do we do about this? Or how do we handle it? Or what needs to happen here? Then what happens is you start to build this energy. And that energy creates so much fuel for your life. It makes your connection with your partner feel like fun. And that’s also part of it, is that fun and recreating together and that battery pack and your intimate connection being strong. Oh, my gosh. When you. When I have my couples and they change this dynamic, they have all this Energy come back into their life and this inspiration. They see their life differently. They start getting excited about their businesses. And so everything changes. And it’s not. The truth is, it’s not. Doesn’t take that much to make that change, to sustain. It is what takes the time and energy.

Makena: Yeah. Yeah. And speaking from the inside of this, because I often talk about that, probably because I heard it from you originally, that my relationship does feel like a battery pack that fuels the rest of my life. And it is this experience of, like, it is where I go to refuel, you know, it is where I go to gain strength, to gain power, to have fun, to, you know, recharge. And then. Then I feel like, okay, I can face the world. I can do all the things I need and want to do. And it doesn’t mean that, of course, we don’t have conflicts. Sometimes we do. There will be moments where this doesn’t feel like the case, but for the most part, you know, and again, we’re. We’re young, but we’re 10 years into this, and we. We have so much fun together, you know, and we laugh together. And we often say. I mean, the thing you said about liking each other and loving each other, the other, like, probably two nights ago or something, we were. We were just joking around about that. Like, I like you and I love you, you know, like, we really love spending that time together. And every couple’s dynamic is different.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: But it’s so nice to have that place to go to, know that that is like your haven, you know, that is your place where, you know you’re going to be loved, you’re going to be cherished, you’re going to be celebrated, cheered on, to really see what it is you want. Support each other, have fun together. I’m just trying to speak from the inside so people can get a sense.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Makena: What does that really feel like?

Gigi: Yeah. And through that love and appreciation, you recreate each other. You know, the love makes you into who you’re meant to be. You know, that’s the great thing about having that kind of love and attention and everything. And like you said, it ends up feeling like home because this is the person you’ve chosen to live your life with, you know, and spend your life with. And why wouldn’t you want it that way? Right. Why wouldn’t you do what it takes to make it that way?

Makena: Yeah. And you really can grow together in that way. And then, like you said, help each other become more and more of who you’re meant to Be there is this piece of the person being like home and being this battery pack. And then there’s also this piece of sometimes challenging each other, I think to be the best version of each other. But, but coming from this place of love, unconditional love, trust, you know, fun, together, intimacy, all these things first creates the foundation where you can challenge each other. I think because most people are going around trying to change their partners and complaining and coming from a place of, I say most people, but, but when they want something to change, like hey, this needs to change or they’re complaining or whatever it might be, versus when you come from this foundation, then in my experience I can really then share with Sunny and him with me, hey, here’s an area where maybe there’s some room for growth or you know, but what we often talk about is that it’s like we’ve built this foundation because of the principles you’ve taught us. Where we know it’s not coming from a self centered place or something that we just want. It’s really coming from like I want this because it’s truly the evolution of you and what you want. And, and of course it’s going to be great for me too. Yeah, I just wanted to touch on that because it’s not all just loving spending time together and all that kind of stuff. There’s also, there’s big challenge points along the way.

Gigi:

Absolutely. And there’s like you said, there’s truths and there’s a way that people need to grow. And then when you have that trust built, your partner knows this is not coming from trying to change them. This is coming from something you see somewhere where they’re being blocked or they’re not being their best self. And when you can have that trust together and be able to share that with each other, that’s really powerful because that’s how you both then grow as well.

Makena:

Yeah. And then sometimes that can be difficult to do and you need to bring in an outside person, especially if you have interpersonal dynamics or different things, patterns of communication. So this is where if any of you have listened to our episode about seeing between the Lines, which we can link in the show notes. Gigi has done this for me so much in my life and does it for her clients. And then you really do this for your clients and their relationships. Tell me about being the radar, so to speak. And why do successful people need someone or people in relationships sometimes need someone to come in and see what they can’t or to share in this different way?

Gigi: Well, I think One reason why people come and they work with me is there is also this kind of isolation at the top. You know, there’s no safe place to be vulnerable. There’s nowhere they can really go to share what’s really going on because, you know, they have a certain way that they need to look, a certain way they need to be. And so that’s one of the really important support things that I love to do for people is give them a space to fully, fully emote, say what’s working, what’s not working, really get vulnerable and also vulnerable about their relationship. And that, that allows people so much right there because they just don’t have that opportunity. You know, even if they go to a therapist often, it’s not the right kind of, of listening and then, and then taking them to a point of what are they going to do? Because that’s what I do. We, we go into the listening and everything, but also the action, you know, and then the other thing is just people, you know, we, we all have that blind spots that success creates, you know, especially when you’re really good at something, you’re really good at businesses, you’re really good at, you know, making a lot of money, doing all these things. And then. But maybe in your personal life you’re not so good in a lot of areas. Again, being in somewhere where you can learn and you can be honest about that and you have the opportunity to really grow and learn.

Makena: And can you just define, like, what do you mean by radar when you talk about that when you come in? Because again, if somebody hasn’t listened to that episode on Seeing between the lines, then. Yeah, what does that mean for you to come in and be the radar?

Gigi: So it’s the ability to see things that you can’t see. It’s, it’s having almost like this sense of when people talk to me, I can see the places where they’re not growing, their breakdowns. It’s this, you know, if you think about it, when there’s a plane, you know, the, the planes before they had radar, they could only see in front of them. The minute they got radar on the plane, then they can see there’s full perspective and the radar gives them information. So that’s basically what I do. Because I’m not involved in their lives and businesses. I’m an outside person that I can see. And again, just from my level of experience of working with people for 40 years, when people talk, I see their lives, I see what’s going on. I see the breakdowns, I see the people in their businesses that aren’t fully aligned. I can walk into a business and see that. And so I hope that helps. Does that help with the description? Yeah.

Makena: Or same thing in a relationship. Right. So it’s like. Yeah, it’s having that outside person who. And then you have a particular skill set here who can do that. And it’s not just talking to someone about their relationship and about the problems and about whatever. But you’re really scanning at a high level with couples. And I think that’s why so many people work with you for so long. You know, sometimes a decade, two decades or more, because they just. Over time, it’s continuously helping them see, okay, their vision, but also the breakdowns that are currently there, but also the potential breakdowns and pivots, relationships and their businesses or their careers. And then over time, you know, again, I talk about this a lot in that episode, how I can look back at these certain key points and go, oh, my gosh, if Gigi hadn’t said to me at that time, like, you know, this or this thing, I would have made a different decision, and the ripple effect would have been huge on often my relationship, you know, but often other areas of my life as well.

Gigi: Yeah. Yeah. It’s a. I mean, I don’t know how to describe it. We. We go more deeply into it. It’s just a sense. It’s like this second sense or the sixth sense. Right. That I. I see. And we all have this ability, and especially we talk about this. Women have a natural ability with this. And the. The powerful thing is, because I’m not in your life and I’m not your partner or, you know, not your business partner, then I have no agenda. Right. So what I see can be very clear and very direct and very, you know, I’m not trying to get you to do something. You know, I’m not. I’m not an influence in your life. And that’s huge. You know, so somebody outside of your world who is giving you information. And then, of course, people can choose to do what I say or not do what I say. But, you know, sometimes it’s very frustrating from where I sit.

Makena: Like, I see so much. They would just do this thing.

Gigi: Exactly.

Makena: Oh, every coach, right. We’re like, yeah, but everybody’s got their timing. So for couples who are listening to this episode and they’re kind of recognizing themselves in this autopilot a little bit. Right. Some aspect of what we’ve talked about today, maybe some areas, not at all, but in others, they’re like, yeah, I’ve kind of been letting things slide a little bit, and I really want to have more intentionality in my relationship or I want to start to move towards more of a power couple dynamic. Where do they start?

Gigi: I think looking to see. I mean, a basic thing is what’s working, what’s not working. You know, where. Where do you feel really on in your relationship? And where are you both feeling? Maybe not completely seen or what’s not working? And you know what? Start with those. Start with the baby step. What is the biggest one? And what could you do or set. What system could you set up to start connecting? And as I said, even a simple weekly meeting is really, really powerful to just start seeing what’s. What’s working, what’s not working, our relationship, and then also acknowledging each other, you know, really appreciating each other. That’s. That verbal communication of doing that starts to really change the dynamic. You feel so much more connected when you do that.

Makena: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like a small thing, but both of those seem like small things, but they’re huge over time.

Gigi: Yeah. And they’re huge if you haven’t been doing them.

Makena: Yeah. People think, oh, I do appreciate my partner, but are you really saying it, you know, regularly? And then, of course, we. We won’t go deeply into it here. We have episodes on the topic of acknowledgment, which we can link in the show notes as well. But there’s key distinctions between acknowledgment and just like a compliment or, you know, occasionally saying, oh, I love you or thank you. Right. It’s a very different kind of thing. Yeah. Anything else? For a couple who is looking at where to begin or really, like, I actually really want to step into more of a power couple dynamic.

Gigi: I think, to look at, you know, what becomes possible if your relationship becomes your greatest asset. Yeah. What. 

What would be possible if you’re in alignment, attentive to each other, inspired, really connected. How would your life change? And that’s a big one to look at, you know, so then it starts to give you. Oh, okay. These are the areas that we really, really need to grow in and want to grow in.

Makena: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gigi: Also, just the ripple effect of when you’re business and family and legacy, they all accelerate together. That, you know, that gives you a great reason to want to do this. Right. And so what would that take? You know, what do you see? What. Again, if relationship is a priority and that’s first, and you really start making it a priority, then these Other things become possible, and then the other thing is waiting makes it, you know, harder. It really, really does. The longer you wait, like we said, the more things build up. And so, you know, if you’re listening to this, you say, oh, I just don’t have time. I’m telling you have the time. And it’s a matter of committing, of making the time, Even if it’s 15 minutes a week, 30 minutes a week, whatever, an hour a week. If you’re doing none right now, you start with little bits, and that consistency really starts to build something.

Makena: Yeah, I think everyone, if they’re honest with themselves, probably spends at least an hour a week on their phones mindlessly scrolling or watching a show or doing something where if you’ve really dedicated that time to the relationship and to this kind of intentionality, that would add up huge over the long run.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Makena: So any closing thoughts for the. The people or the couples who might be listening?

Gigi: Yeah. So your life is an art and your relationship is a canvas where everything else gets painted. And so I help couples really create that masterpiece because that’s what you’re doing. You’re creating a masterpiece of your life however the way you want it. You know, no couples, the same. And your uniqueness as a couple is the thing that is so fun to discover and to really work with, with each other and really build something that’s incredible for you, whatever that is for you.

Makena: Absolutely. And then I know we didn’t talk about it so much in this episode, but we did more in the last episode. You have a year program starting in the fall of 2025 called Secrets of Power Couples. And so if you’ve, you know, listened to this one or maybe listened to both episodes and you’re curious, then you can go to http://www.secretsofpowercouples.com and you can check out that program and also the, you know, testimonials. There is an application process. It’s highly curated. But again, if you’re interested, just go forward and see. See if there might be a great fit for you. So definitely check that out.

Gigi: Go ahead. Just if you have any curious curiosity, apply. Yeah, that’s not going to hurt anything. Yeah.

Makena: And then I did want to share that URL I forgot to share earlier in the episode for the what’s on your heart practice, which is wayofthemuse.com connection. So if you wanted that what’s on your heart practice, you can try that out with your partner. It’s wayofthemuse.com connection and Gigi, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today.

Gigi: Yeah. Thank you, Makena. Thank you, everyone.

Makena: See you next time.

Gigi: All right. Bye.

Makena: Bye.

Makena: Hello, everyone.

Gigi: Hello, everyone. I’m so excited to be back. I’ve been gone for two weeks, I guess, almost three weeks, I think.

Makena: Yeah. And Gigi’s actually here in San Diego with me right now.

Gigi: Yeah. Against this beautiful wall behind me.

Makena: So she came in for my baby shower after her trip to Asia, and we are excited to be. Well, we’re in separate rooms because we’re used to recording this way, but we’re excited to be together to record this podcast for you. 

So in a recent episode that Gigi recorded, she was talking a little bit about power couples and mentioned her new program, the Secrets of Power Couples program. And we had a couple of people reach out and be like, What is that? And what is a power couple? And can you tell us more? 

And so we really wanted to do this episode today to talk more about that. What is a power couple? And also, how does. You know, what’s the difference in just being a great couple versus being truly what we call a power couple? 

And especially we want to talk about that in terms of how this really grows your success, your business, wealth, and legacy. 

So, Gigi, we’re so excited to listen to your wisdom and expertise in this area.

Gigi: Yeah. You know, this is one of my favorite topics. Yeah, I love it.

Makena: Absolutely. So where I’d love to begin is that, you know, when I think about some of your clients and couples that you’ve worked with over many years or decades, some of them. 

There are some couples who have this amazing quality where everything they touch seems to turn to gold. It’s like they’ve got lots of different projects and businesses and so much success, and not just financial success, but, of course, other areas as well. 

Well, there are other incredible couples who struggle more. And so I was curious if you could just kind of open up by telling us, what do you see as some of the differences that really makes a power couple stand out?

Gigi: Yeah, I think with my work, it’s one of the things that I teach in the Secrets of Power Couples is it’s just a different level of consciousness, I think, and alignment. 

And what really makes that distinction is the intentional action of aligning and then also being open to growing. And with power couples, when people make that really, that shift, it is. You know, a lot of times people think that a power couple is just somebody who’s a couple that’s very successful. Right. 

They have a lot of wealth, a lot of things working. But I make a lot of distinctions around that, and we can talk about it as we grow. Go. Go. But a simple way of looking at it is aligning and then also being open to growth, and both partners being open to growth. 

And, you know, one way that works is when a couple truly aligns, when they go into their relationship to really get on each other’s team, then what happens is it creates this exponential results versus this kind of linear growth. 

Right. Where of course, we all have linear growth at some point in our path. But when this energy happens, you know, I always call it. It’s almost like a plug-in. When you plug into each other and you get aligned with each other, oh my God, the possibilities increase so much. And there’s this invisible force that kind of separates the extraordinary from the merely successful. And I believe that’s a key to it, this alignment with each other.

Makena: I feel like people might not know. I’m sure you’ll describe this more as we go through the episode, what exactly you mean by alignment. 

We do have a sense when we come across sometimes those extraordinary power couples that are like, wow, there you can sort of feel the difference in a couple that is really aligned in that way. 

So just for people to kind of think about that, have they come across couples like that? It may be quite rare, right, that they really experience that.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What happens, it’s. It’s really beyond the kind of individual success. And what happens is they become committed to each other in such a way that they get on each other’s team and always say, one plus one equals ten. 

They become ten times more powerful when they do this. It’s a matter of really looking to see how to bring out each other’s individual strengths versus competing. You know, a lot of times competing or complaining or, you know, pulling each other down. 

And so what happens is these couples, when they learn this and they learn how to align, they start to really fuel each other’s potential. You know, I say it’s bottom line is this, whatever you want, I’m going to assist you to get it, as long as it doesn’t hurt me or you or someone you know.

But I’m going to get in there and fully get on your team and be with you in such a way that I’m. I’m going to insist that you also go for your personal success along with our combined interest as a team and a couple. 

So together, you know, there’s no shrinking or compromising. There’s only that we expand together, you know, and of course, we can expand separately, but there’s always the togetherness in the Power couple.

Makena: Yeah. So for a couple who might be listening to this and going, like, am I a power couple or what? What else can I do to become a power couple? 

Like, the big thing you’re saying is it’s this level of being on each other’s team, out for each other’s success, both individually and as a couple. Is that kind of what you’re calling alignment here?

Gigi: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Makena: Yeah. So it is this, I guess, just. It’s beyond just having a great relationship or something like that. It’s really taking it also into the realm of. Of business and success, and a career, if they’re in careers or something like that. 

And I love that. Just seeing what would really bring the other person out, and then you as a couple together as well.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah.

Makena: So what else, really? Is there anything else that defines a power couple in your book? Like, beyond again, just two successful people who happen to be together and have a great love. Is there anything else that really sets a power couple apart?

Gigi: Yeah, I think there are many things. And one of the things that I work with couples on is really creating a game together. And it’s something that’s bigger than their relationship. And so they have this also kind of shared vision that goes beyond personal goals. So they are in it together. They’re going for something along with their personal goals, but they are going for something together. And they know what that is.

And then another big distinction is the way they handle challenges. And, you know, a lot of couples, little things become like earthquakes, but with a power couple, they become like speed bumps because they’ve learned the tools and skills because of their, you know, like I said, curiosity to get out and grow. 

Then they learn certain life skills and things like that to where they really know how to navigate the challenges. And they put the time into navigating the challenges where, you know, we’ll talk about another episodes where a lot of times those things get lost to putting the time in.

So what happens is the energy flow becomes that. The relationship becomes this fuel source. It becomes a battery pack because they are eliminating the challenges quickly and not allowing them to build up, you know. 

And so in that, just like with the alignment, there, there are steps to building that energy flow and that alignment and building your connection in such a way to where you’re moving the world together, not as you know, yes, individually, but also that you have a clear path together. 

And as I said before, you’re really on each other’s team and people can feel and sense that, you know, you can really feel that with people. I mean, you and Sunny have that Makena completely.

Makena: Yeah. I think, in a lot of ways. And you’ve mentored us in many, many ways to have that and talk to me about what a power couple is over the years and how do you really empower each other and build a certain kind of trust in the relationship and then also, which we may get into today, or maybe not the differences between men and women and then distinctions and what we each bring to a power couple relationship, I think is also really fascinating. 

But what I’m hearing you say just at a kind of a high level. It does sound like a lot of work. And I think that’s something that is a key piece here is because there’s a lot of great couples who are deeply in love, but what you’re talking about is. 

Is a certain level of intentionality, right?

Gigi: It is, yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s. It’s like building a conscious relationship with intention. Absolutely. And it’s funny because it is a lot of work, but, you know, this is true in anything you build in life, that it’s a lot of work, just like when you’re building your business.

But if you don’t do it, or if you skirt by things in your business and you don’t handle certain things and you don’t address certain things and you ignore them, then they come up later, and then it becomes even more work to put out the fires. Right. 

And it’s the same thing in a relationship is that if you don’t tend to the relationship in a way you put this kind of work in, then often the breakdowns, you don’t see them for a long time. 

And so when they do come up, it becomes a lot of work and a lot of work. Because then there’s already habitual patterns happening that were maybe unconscious. And to go back and redo your relationship, it takes a lot of work. 

The thing about when you put the work in the beginning or wherever you are in your relationship, then what happens is you’re building the foundation in such a way that you’re going to be able to nip things in the bud very quickly and to see things quickly, you know?

Makena: Yeah. For some reason, I’m thinking about, like, compound interest, you know, and they teach about compound interest. 

It’s like making these deposits over time into your relationship bank, but also into, you know, we’ll talk about. Because you always say when couples get their relationship right, then everything accelerates. Right.

Gigi: Absolutely.

Makena: That their success accelerates and all these different areas are so much richer. And so I just keep thinking about like these little deposits over time instead of taking from your piggy bank, so to speak, and that then it’s building this compound interest versus, you know, if you’re taking, taking, taking, you end up in the negative. You end up with these bigger issues over time. I don’t know. 

That just popped into my mind as you were sharing.

Gigi: Yeah, that’s a great, I think it’s a great analogy. Yeah. Yeah.

Makena: So it’s a really long term thing, right?

Gigi: It is, it is. It’s a long term thing. And if you really want to grow something that’s exceptional, it is long term. Right. We do that with our businesses, with our families and you know, mastering these, these things early on or again, no matter where you are, you can make a shift to a deeper connection. It just helps you in your decision making, quality as a couple. And it also, it, you know, you have somebody that has your back instead of it being, you know, often with couples, when challenges come up, you know they’re at each other. Right. And they’re, they don’t like they’re not on each other’s team. 

And if you’re consistently building your relationship from this place of seeing what’s working, what’s not working, putting the time in, then you can just navigate those challenges so much faster and you feel supported in a different way. Yeah.

Makena: So how does doing all of this really, like you’re saying, accelerate people’s success? It sounds almost too good to be true.

Gigi: Well, think about it like this. Think about when a relationship’s not working or you have challenges, the energy and the attention that gets pulled from breakdown.

So I always like to give this example. If things aren’t working in your relationship, and especially for women, also for men. But women love relationship, we’re relationship beings. We want to make our relationships beautiful. 

And when things aren’t working, you color, you carry that with you through the other parts of your life. So when you go to your work, if things aren’t working at home, there’s a little piece of you that’s never quite present to be in there and really go for whatever you’re doing in your career, your business or whatever. 

It’s the same thing there’s a piece of you, if you have a family that’s not completely present for your children. 

When you are doing the things that I’m talking about in terms of building this power couple unit, then it frees you up so much because you have this mental bandwidth that’s freed up. You’re not pulled by all these little things and all these stresses that you know that are pulling on your attention. And same thing for the man in the relationship. 

And so what happens is you you have this energy, this battery pack. And when you go out into the world to work on your career and be successful, you have the backing, you have the energy, and you feel so supported that you have a whole level of awareness and energy and vitality to put in to really grow things. 

Does that make sense?

Makena: Yeah. So, like, what you’re talking about is kind of like, if there’s breakdowns, then there is the strain. There is this distraction. It actually can detract probably from your success and your ability to really put yourself out there in a different way versus when you really build this kind of dynamic. 

And of course you’re gonna break down sometimes, but like you said, you are that battery pack for each other and you’re really helping fuel each other’s success. It’s a very different kind of feeling. I think everybody can imagine that. Yeah.

Gigi: And you feel more confident. You know, you have a believer in your life, you know, someone that at home is there for you and supportive. 

And again, you know, I have to reference back to you and Sunny. I think you both really feel that in your life, feel that kind of support. And you stand out a lot of times as a couple. 

And it doesn’t mean. We’re not talking about that Power couples are better than other couples. Yeah, it’s not that at all. Wherever you choose to be as a couple is perfectly okay. 

What we’re talking about is a different kind of up leveling. And not everybody wants to go there, you know, not everybody. That’s not a priority for them or a value in that matter.

Makena: Yeah, I think that’s a really important point. But there will be people listening who are curious about it, who are like, I want to experience that quality of relationship, or I want to really grow in my own success and my partner in theirs, or maybe even do something together. And so that’s really what we’re speaking to here. 

But I love that you said that, because not everybody wants that.

Gigi: Right, right.

Makena: Some people are content to just have a great relationship and not be that. 

Can you walk us through a specific example? We’re talking about this kind of acceleration factor where having this power couple dynamic really accelerates your success. 

So can you walk us through any examples of this and maybe couples you’ve worked with or. Because I know this is something you’ve. You’ve supported a lot of couples with.

Gigi: Yeah, I mean, it can often be something as simple as I’ve had clients who were doing well together. Like we’re talking about, you know, they worked and they had businesses. Maybe some. 

Some of them, my clients have businesses together. But they weren’t completely on the same page. And so in that, there was always a bit of distraction, there were conflict and things like that. And when they started learning, first of all, communication skills and have the willingness to really get in and align with each other, then what happened is there. 

Oh, let’s just take an example of people that are in business together, then what happened is they were able to first of all, acknowledge their strengths and their weaknesses and see who’s good at what. Right. And really align to say, okay, if I’m good at this piece and you’re good at this piece, then let’s, let’s give each other those roles. 

And, you know, I have more weakness in this area and to really support each other where previously they might have been making each other wrong and going against each other. And so that awareness is huge because what it does is it again starts to create alignment. Right. 

And less time is wasted on why is he doing this or she doing that. So in that there’s an opportunity, first of all, to have more fun in business. And through that fun and through that inspiration, create more opportunities and then also earn more money. Because when again, you’re aligned, that what happens. You have that ability to brainstorm together to look and see what you want to do, and you’re not competing that. “Oh, you know, he doesn’t acknowledge my this or she doesn’t think I’m this.” 

Because you’ve designed tools where you also are in communication all the time to let each other know what you appreciate about each other also and to really get in there and acknowledge each other. 

So it just creates this different kind of dynamic where things can exponentially grow.

Makena: So then with the specific clients that you’ve worked with, how. What are some of the results that that actually creates for them?

Gigi: You know, they have double revenues, tripled net worth. You know, they work less, they have more fun in their businesses, they have more free time, they have new ideas come to them, and these businesses are exciting for them, so they enjoy their work more. 

And then I had a client who, she had a very successful business, and she at one point asked me, she said, “I really want to go into business with My husband, he was building, working in real estate…” And so at one point she sold her business and she went into business with him and they really built, you know, a real estate empire. 

And that was a big decision to make, you know, because she had a very successful business before, but she decided she wanted to go in and really align with him and build something together, which would be a family business. 

The other thing it also creates is legacy. You know, that’s a lot with my clients. As they work together more and they align more, they can bring their families in and there’s that element of, you know, passing on their knowledge and their businesses to their children. 

And that’s a very exciting thing of building something that is full circle, you know, in terms of their relationship, their harmony there, their businesses together, bringing their children in and really bringing something that creates a big legacy in life.

Makena: I love those examples and those are huge, you know, results in terms of doubling, we just say it offhand, but double revenue and triple net worth. Like, that’s a big deal. 

But I’m curious too, for couples who are listening, who are like, well, I don’t know for sure if I want to be in business with my partner. Is their version of this where couples aren’t necessarily in business with each other, but they still have that kind of alignment and are really growing?

Gigi: Absolutely. Yeah. I have couples who have separate businesses, but they have aligned, like I said, game together. And so they also. They’re not in business together, but they still support each other in terms of being sounding boards for each other and assisting each other in terms of vision and seeing what to do. 

So they have that alignment, like I said, of whatever you want, I’m going to absolutely support you to get it. So they are consciously involved in the business, but maybe not actively doing stuff in the business.

Makena: Yeah, I love that. And I know we’ve talked about this a fair bit, but is there anything else you want to share? Just about. Because it is kind of the topic of this episode, how this kind of alignment, again, specifically impacts financial growth. I mean, you talked about some of the examples from your clients. Is there anything else for people who are listening in terms of how they should be thinking about this?

Gigi: Yeah, I mean, the result of when you start to learn. And again, some of what I teach is so, so simple in the communication skills. It’s just a matter of applying them and then being consistent with them. 

So just like in anything, we set up consistent meetings and structure for meetings and things like that. But the, the results of it is, you know, think about it. When you have an aligned financial vision, you’re not two people going, oh, okay, I want this, I want this. And not aligning or talking to each other about it. 

Then it really shifts from having money conflicts to, again, almost having like a game to play together to where you really see what you want. And here’s the thing with human beings, you know, the minute we have clarity, then we know what to do a lot of times, you know, and that’s something that we’re really good at Makena, with all of our clients. Right. Is assisting them to get that clarity. And then for couples to get clarity on what they want and what’s the financial vision they’re going for, because then, “okay, wow, now we know what to do.” 

And then you have the communication skills that assist you when challenges come up. Because like you said, it’s not all, you know, wonderful and everything’s working all the time. 

We have big moments where there’s big things and they still have conflict and all of those things, but we have the tools to shift through those. And we have the willingness. That’s the other thing, the willingness for the growth. 

And I think also really looking at it as, you know, if you’ve ever done anything in your life where you’ve, you’ve worked on something and you’ve grown it over time, it can even be a garden. Right. You just see the return on investment for the time and energy you put into it. 

And it’s the same thing in your power couple unit. It’s having this mindset that this is an investment in our long term game together. In our long term family that we’re building. 

And then like I said, the legacy piece of really thinking about how you’re building something that, you know, first of all is a model for your children, which is awesome. 

I’ve watched couples who really didn’t know how to navigate this and they started learning how to work together and like I said, how to communicate, how to have strong intimacy together and really become this unit of strength to where their children admire it and really say, like, “wow, I want to do this.” 

So you become a role model for your children and for other people.

Makena: How does that show up? I mean, I’m sure the majority of the couples probably have children or want children, but if someone doesn’t want kids, how does that show up? 

Is that thinking more in terms of just building the life they want long term or is it about impact in some way. Like, what do you see there for couples who may or may not have children?

Gigi: Well, it’s a very individual thing. It’s a very. It’s up to you in terms of what do you see as your legacy. Legacy has nothing to do with just having children. It has to do with what your uniqueness or what is something that you’re putting into the world or you’re putting together in the world as a couple that you see will have a create a legacy. You know, it can be buying a piece of land and developing a farmland and creating. You know, it could be anything. It’s just. 

That’s where we have to dig deep and go, what is to unique to you and unique to your partner that you feel passionate enough and that you want to build together. And again, like I said, it doesn’t mean you have to be in business together, but still that you have some kind of game together, that you’re moving with each other. Because the point of that is that that allows you to grow together in such a way and see each other in new light. Where if you’re just having a relationship, sometimes it can get a little, like, boring.

Makena: Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so let’s take all this and make it a little bit practical for people who are listening.

What does communication actually sound like in a power couple relationship versus maybe a regular successful couple?

Gigi: One thing, it’s changing complaints to clear requests. That’s something I teach and teach a process around that again, saves so much time and energy. 

Oh, my gosh. This is an aha moment for couples, because often we just aren’t aware of our pattern of communication. Right. 

And then also the art of being receptive versus defensive, often when things come up, people get defensive. There’s a reaction, it spirals. It goes into an argument again. So what I start to teach is how to be receptive. How to sit. How to really sit back and listen, take everything and then respond.

Makena: That’s a huge one in my relationship, not that we were necessarily super defensive, but you’ve just taught me so much about receptivity over my lifetime. Of course. And then our work together and everything, and just Sunny comments on this all the time. My ability to sit there and be receptive and to wait and to look for the timing and everything, and then that opens up a different quality of communication and a different way for us to navigate where we’re not going up against each other. 

And what’s amazing about that is that over the years, then he became very receptive. But it wasn’t because I told him to or I tried to change something there. He learned through observing me.

Gigi: Yeah. Yeah, that’s beautiful. Yeah. And that’s great, Makena, when you share your actual experience, because right now we’re talking very high level in terms of how to do this. 

But that one is, that’s a game changer, big time for people. And as you said, I love you make. Making that distinction is, you know, when one of you is willing to change and start practicing and even both of you. 

But sometimes, you know, again, not to this is a general statement, but a lot of times I find it’s easier for women in the beginning to do this and then the men really learn from that, you know. 

And then also the other thing is how they navigate business disagreements without personal attacks. And this, if they’re in business together is extremely important. Not always easy. And people go off track. And of course, sometimes they go back to the personal attacks. 

But again, what we do is we set up clear systems too. If there’s a constant communication and meetings happening, then what happens is you don’t let things build up. And that’s a lot too. That is so important. 

And then the skill of acknowledgment, which we teach everyone everywhere. And what that does is it really fuels the expansion of the couple and how they feel about each other and how they verbally support each other, which is so, so incredibly important.

Makena: Yeah. Because so much of this, I think, is unconscious. Like you talked about complaining versus making clear requests or acknowledging. I think people don’t really realize how they are necessarily in relationship. 

They think, “oh, we’ve got a pretty good relationship.” And they do. But part of what happens when people start to work with you, I’ve observed this over the years and then definitely in my relationship and is you become aware of like, “oh, my communication patterns or the way that we’ve been operating with one another…” 

And then you get these tools to start to make these changes. And then it does. It compounds over time the other partner. You know, sometimes they get in there and they’re both working with you at the same time, learning these skills. 

But sometimes it is the woman coming in first or something like that. And then over time the men become curious. That’s often been than in your work as well. 

You work with a lot of couples who are already financially successful, some, you know, at different stages and different versions of financial success. 

But what shifts for them as they move from – we’re taking real, more real examples here. Right. So when they go from individual success or they both have successful businesses, they’ve done well or maybe careers to, again, that power couple status, is there anything else that you want to say about that?

Gigi: Yeah. So what shifts too, you know, I’ve talked a little bit about it in different ways, but from this kind of competition or complaining to collaboration in all areas, again, going back to we’re on each other’s team, so how do we solve this? 

Instead of we’re two individuals with two different opinions or two different ways we deal with things and competing with each other about who’s right, basically. 

And so that’s, again, that’s a big one to learn how to shift into that. 

And then a key element which I haven’t talked about yet is intimacy. You know, I think I say intimacy is one of the main, most important things that often gets put on the back burner, especially for people who are very successful, who are busy. They’re, you know, they’ve got engaged businesses and lives and very exciting. But then the intimacy kind of takes the back seat. And that’s one of the things I put right at the very beginning is this is so incredibly important because that’s. That again, is your healing, your battery pack. That’s the way that. 

That doesn’t have to do with words and, you know, talking all the time. That has to do with your. Your intimate connection. That really empowers both of you and strengthens you. 

And then the other things that shift are just that magnetic quality, you know, that attracts people, attracts opportunities. You know, you can see it when there’s a couple that they like each other. You know, they love each other, they respect each other. You know, they have this kind of sense and feeling together that they really, you know, they. They’re there for each other and there’s a certain kind of energy around them. 

And that’s why I say they become ten times more powerful, because they become this unit, and that unit of alignment is so, so, so attractive. 

And other power couples gravitate to them. You know, that’s one of the fun things when I work with power couples in a group setting and like in retreats and in my program is it’s so fun to have the connection between the couples because, you know, it’s so fun to have these couples that are on the same wavelength as you, even though they might be at different income brackets or different ages. 

But there’s this sense of, you know, you’re up to something. And like I said, you’re aligned with each other and not only with really supporting the other couples, you know, really being there for them. So that’s just a few of the ways. Yeah.

Makena: I love that you brought up intimacy because they say what the two biggest things that result in divorce are. Sex and money.

Gigi: Right, Right. Yep. Yeah, yep, yep.

Makena: So those are both. We’ve talked a lot about financial in this episode, but the other key component, which, again, we have other episodes where we go deeper into this, and it’s something that you go deeply into in the work you do with couples is. 

Is what is that intimate connection like? And has it. Has it kind of gone on the back burner and how to really foster that and fuel that? And there’s so many. What would you say? Like. Like everything. We’re talking about everything. There’s so many things that are so specific to each couple here, too.

Gigi: Yeah. Yeah.

Makena: That’s a super important piece. And what about family, though? Because we touched on it a little bit. 

Many of your clients, because I know them, we work with many of them together. They have complex family dynamics. They have maybe blended families or business partnerships or they have children involved. 

So tell me a little bit about how you help them navigate this or what you see with power couples navigating in those spaces.

Gigi: Well, normally, as we grow in their businesses and as a couple, they want to bring this into their families. Right. 

Because family can be a huge breakdown. And that’s the other thing, is if a couple’s not aligned, children sense and feel that and often will create problems there. Right. Because they sense and feel, you know, they can ask one person and not ask the other person. 

When a couple comes together, then what they do is they get intentional about creating their family also as this super supportive dynamic and understanding and being willing, too, to grow there and go deeply into what’s working and what’s not working in the family, which is so, so, so important. 

And so they learned to create family teams instead of just managing separate individuals. And, you know, I really teach them, and you too, Makena, is how do they make their families into a team. 

And usually the children love this no matter what age they are. And they also really, you know, as they work on themselves and they work on themselves as a couple, they model something for their children, which is this kind of healthy relationship dynamic, which, you know, we always say, kids don’t do what you say. They do what they see. 

And then there’s this integration of business, family, and personal growth, which is awesome, super fun. Because it’s no longer that, “oh, our mom and dad has to work so much,” you know, it’s that the kids are integrated into sometimes even the business. 

Like, you know, we did with you and I did with my other children, as they were part of our business, part of our evolution, involved. And so they got to be part of that experience, you know, and. And then you’re also teaching your next generation about true partnership. 

And this is where there’s legacies from our business, but there’s also legacy from what we teach our children and how they grow as people and how they grow as parents and how they grow as business people. 

And it’s so wonderful for a parent to be able to contribute that way because also, often parents can’t contribute that way because they haven’t built that kind of relationship with their children.

Makena: Yeah. And there will be couples listening to this who have grown children or children that are almost grown and out of the house, or couples with younger children. There will also be some who are, you know, haven’t started having children yet or like us, are just beginning that journey. 

And that’s been such a cool thing for me to be able to watch and observe because like you said, many of the couples you’ve worked with that in this way have been with you for 15 years. 10, 15 plus years. And so I’ve gotten to know them, we know their families. We’ve worked with them on so many different levels. 

And it’s been such a cool thing for me and Sunny both to observe, like, how have they done this? How have they continued to build and grow and, you know, over time, and you’ve really helped them to see that bigger vision and integrate their families. And I think that’s something people are often surprised when they talk to me or talk to me and Sunny is like that. We have a lot of visions and dreams and things, and we think about the longer term. Many people have visions and dreams, but the longer term of not just ourselves, but also our family unit and our relationship and the impact we want to make. And I really think that’s because we’ve had the opportunity to have a glimpse into some of these other relationships, power couple relationships and families over time.

Gigi: Yeah, yeah. And I mean, even with our family, you know, we were just here with just the girls. Right. This past few days, your sisters came in. And if you just look at the collaboration and the special way that we work together and how much fun we have, it’s amazing. You know, it’s something very, very special. 

But we worked really hard to have that.

Makena: Definitely.

So couples who want this, who want to go from successful relationship or happy relationship to power couples status, what are some of the non negotiables? What are some of the practices you see people do consistently or what do you help them?

Gigi: Regular vision alignment conversations. So setting aside time to see what is that next vision, talking about that and the practice, like I said, of this mutual acknowledgement and celebration, you know, it’s so important, you know, in a couple. The recreating of a couple has to do with recreation. You know, recreating together, enjoying each other, making time. Do not say, oh, we just don’t have time. That doesn’t work. It’s, it’s. You do have time. You don’t, you’re not making the time. 

And conflict as a curriculum, how they use these challenges actually to deepen their connection. So instead of when there are breakdowns, just saying, oh my gosh, there’s breakdowns, it’s the end of the world, or we, we haven’t come, you know, we haven’t come any distance or we’ve gone backwards, is instead going, okay, this breakdown teaches us something. And what is it teaching us? What can we do differently? What systems do we need to put in place to where this breakdown doesn’t happen again? Or if it does, we catch it before it goes this far. 

And then just investment in growth is huge. Retreats, coaching, intentional, like kind of development time. Spending time in terms of understanding each other, learning about each other, and going deeper with one another really being. 

Setting aside that time to go deeper.

Makena: Yeah. What about the flip side? So if that’s the non negotiables…

What are some of the mistakes you see couples make when they’re trying to achieve this level of alignment?

Gigi: A big one is trying to change the other person versus focusing on your own growth. And this is a, this is when you’re trying to change someone, they’ll never change. And all you can do, you know, is really change yourself. And through the change of yourself, often you will see the other person really, really changes. And that’s the, that’s really, it’s the one of those counterintuitive ideas it’s really hard to grasp. 

Like how does me changing make them be different? Right. And you’re not trying to make them be different. It’s also the acceptance of who you’re with. And then through this aligned compassion and understanding with each other and honesty Then, yeah, you start to grow together. 

And then the other thing is expecting, like, there’s an overnight transformation, you know, wanting things to change immediately instead of embracing the journey. Like, as a couple, you’re on a journey together. Right. You’ve chosen to be together. You’ve chosen to commit this time, space, a part of yourself to somebody. And it’s just like anything else. If you grow it and attend to it, it’s going to grow in a beautiful way. 

Even though it’ll have breakdowns and challenges and ups and downs, but there will be always an evolution that it’s moving forward.

Makena: Yeah. I’m thinking of a particular client that we have that is early on in a partnership, within a year or so. And this is something that’s come up. Right. And we’ve talked to them about is just like, it. It takes time. 

If it’s got the raw material, the relationship, and you really feel like this could be it, or this could be a great power couple dynamic. Over time, there is this evolutionary process or this growing together. It takes patience. It takes work. 

I mean, Sunny and I are young, and we’re just starting our family and just in many ways, starting our lives. But we’ve been at this for 10 years, you know. Yeah, we’ve been together, and that’s been 10 years of intentionality. And so there is. I just wanted to kind of highlight that there is this element of it does take time and putting in the – I don’t love the word work, but intentionality.

Gigi: Yeah. Yeah. And then the other thing, the mistake is treating relationship work as separate from your business development. 

This is part of everything. This is the core. Your relationship is the core. It is the foundation. Because, as I said, when it’s not working, it can. It will go into every aspect of your life. When it is working, it will go into every aspect of your life. Yeah. 

And then the other thing is avoiding those deeper conversations that create a real breakthrough that are uncomfortable and getting in there and not taking things personally and really getting in there and seeing, what am I doing that’s working and it’s not working, and being willing to have that mirror and look at yourself and being willing to change.

Makena: I think that point about treating your business and your relationship as separate is such an interesting one because. Yeah, I think people just don’t think that way. And so much of the time, you see in couples, successful couples especially, that, like, they’ve really put their focus on their career. Right. Then they continue to, and they invest their time, money, energy. That’s where it goes. 

And of course they invest to some degree in their relationship. I think that’s fascinating. What you’re saying is like really seeing that they’re not separate in many ways, that whatever you can do individually on your own, you can accelerate so much more when you have things working as power couple.

Okay, so I’m curious then you have this program this year, program Secrets of Power Couples, and you’ve worked again with many couples over many years and decades sometimes. 

So what makes you choose to work with certain couples? Like, what are you looking for in a couple that you think, yeah, they really have the potential to go for this?

Gigi: Well, one thing is that financial capacity for long term transformation. They’re willing to invest in themselves. Often again, people think this is the last thing you invest in because everything else is more important. But again, I think it’s the first thing you invest in. So that ability to, and willingness to invest in themselves. 

And then second, that both partners are, are willing to be vulnerable and to do the deep work. They’re willing to… first of all, you know me as a trusted guide, get real and get honest and say, and you know, and most of my couples do in front of me, you know, they say everything and it’s not always nice and pretty, pretty, but being willing to do that because I’m able to sit back and be that receptive guide for them.

Makena: Okay, so for that financial capacity part. So I get that you work with a lot of very successful couples, but I also know that some of the couples you worked with weren’t necessarily rolling in it, let’s say, when they first started working with you. 

So is this more about being willing to invest? Like I, I just can imagine a couple listening that’s like curious, but they’re like, oh, they immediately rule themselves out too when they hear that, right?

Gigi: Yeah, well, like I said, the willingness to invest. Right. So the willingness to make this a priority and to be able to see that the return on their investment is going to be… it might take a year or two years, but it will in the long run accelerate what they’re trying to do because basically that’s what we’re doing here. 

We’re accelerating what would take them a long time to much quicker results.

Makena: Yeah. And again, I’ve watched this with your clients where they’ve just built, you know, they were reasonably successful, let’s say, when they came in, and then they’ve just built some of them empires and just incredible things, multiples upon multiples of what they did before. 

I just wanted to highlight that because I could see some couples going like, “Oh, well, you know. Yeah, I thought maybe something like this was for me, but we’re just not there yet. That’s all I say, like, well, I’m just not there yet. Maybe in five years or something.” 

So that’s a big one. You talked a little bit about being vulnerable and being willing to go deep. What if the part. I’m not going to say the man, because I don’t want to, but often it is the man or one of the partners has a bit of a harder time with this. 

What’s the level of willingness that’s needed to really come in and make this kind of change?

Gigi: Well, often, you know, like, you’re saying, you know, often what happens is I work with women, and then the men see the difference in their women, and then they come and work with me. Right. They see the changes. And so in that there’s already a curiosity and willingness and then to step into something like this, you know, and to make this, first of all, that it feels very personal. 

And often, you know, it is true not to generalize or maybe to generalize that the men feel a little bit more uncomfortable because it’s more difficult to be vulnerable. But, you know, often what will happen is the women will tell them, we need this and I want this, and they’re committed to their ladies, and they say, “okay, then we’ll do it.”

And I saw this in the retreat I did last year. You know, is the funniest thing, remember Makena, is the. The guys were all, like, resistant when they first arrived. When they first arrived into. Exactly. And at first they were like, “oh, my gosh, what do we get ourselves into?” And even up to the point of going. 

And within 24 hours, they were like, oh, my gosh, they loved it. They wanted to even stay longer. And, you know, you can look at the testimonials from a couple of the guys online, and they’re just like, this is amazing experience. 

So, you know, that’s. That’s the thing. It’s hard, but often it comes to just the encouragement of the woman and her just saying, “hey, this is what we’ve got to do.” You know, and they have the level of trust and they go with it.

Makena: Yeah. And I think a lot of what we’re talking about today, too, in terms of that it’s not just about the relationship, and it is also about the financial success and the impact and the legacy piece is often what has the men become more curious as a generalization again, but it’s what we’ve seen many, many times is, you know, if you are a woman listening to this and you want to bring it to your partner, it’s not just to be.  Make it all about, oh, this having this great relationship, which is, of course, you both want, but that it really is, again, this investment in, you know, again, the time to become a power couple. The money investment, whatever kind of investment you’re talking about, is this investment in your financial future as well?

Gigi: It is absolutely in your financial future. And we even have elements of. What we do is we have business elements within the program where couples mastermind with each other around growing their businesses and what they are thinking. 

And so they have these bright minds to work together with them, to assist them if they have a new idea in their business or they’re having some challenges in their business. And I put that in there because that’s so valuable to you have these resources of these people, and then it just makes it more fun for all the couples. It’s not just about your connection and your relationship.

Makena: Anything else that you’re looking for when you’re kind of looking at a couple to potentially work with or.

Gigi: That vision for success, something bigger than just their current success, you know, looking for a game. A lot of times they have a strong drive, they’re ambitious, maybe they want to make an impact or they just have even just financial goals. And so that’s a big one in terms of they have to be willing to want to stretch and grow also in success. 

And then another key element is just that readiness to integrate all the areas of their life, you know, to not to stop compartmentalizing that, okay, this is my business, this is my relationship. This is my family, Ii you have children and to be able to go, “okay, all of these things go together. And how do we grow something together and really grow something that we love, that we enjoy, that we. We feel good about that. Of course there’s stresses and strains, but we know we’re on the right track and we know we’re there for each other…” and that there for each other. A lot of couples don’t feel, you know, that’s the truth.

Makena: Yeah, Right on.

So as we wrap up today, what do you want couples that are listening or people that are listening that are in a couple to understand about what’s possible for them. If we just kind of tie it up with a bow here.

Gigi: Yeah. I think that, you know, the, the exponential versus the kind of linear path, this thing of we’ve all had those experiences of when we decide to do something that feels a little risky, a little vulnerable. 

Maybe it’s big financial or it’s big time wise or whatever, and we jump into it and we fully go into it and something shifts so big in her life. And I know I’ve had those experiences and most of us have, and that’s, that’s that exponential. Instead of waiting, saying, okay, well, it’s just going to grow like this, you know, step by step. 

And also just to know that how your transformation impacts everyone around you. I say that ripple effect of when things aren’t working at home and you go to work, then that goes into everything that you do. You’re not fully there. 

So when it does work and you go into your work again, that ripple effect goes into everything. Everything. The people in the work.

Makena: Ripple effect on your children.

Gigi: Absolutely. On your children, on your family members, on everything. 

And just that legacy of true partnership for future generations. That’s part of my passion is I love when people start to align. There’s this sense of such an incredible energy. It’s such a beautiful thing to watch. It’s a great thing to witness. And it’s so exciting to watch their success grow out of that. 

And that art of creating a life, and love that just keeps expanding that you. Like I said, it gets better over time because again, there’s the, the kind of myth that as we’re together through the years, oh, it’s not quite as exciting as it used to be, and it’s not as alive. 

And I always with my couples are like, no, it gets better. It gets richer. Your sex life gets better. Your intimacy is better. Everything about it can be so much more. 

And when I say better, I think that you feel in sense and you feel alive with your life and you feel alive in your relationship.

Makena: Richer, maybe is.

Gigi: Richer is a good word. And the main thing is that your relationship success is it’s not separate from your success. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible. Yeah, everything.

Makena: Absolutely. Well, beautiful.

Thank you for sharing so much here. We could, we probably could make obviously whole programs about this. Yeah, yeah, we did a lot in one episode. 

But it was so fascinating to hear. And I’m sure for many couples, just a brand new idea for them to even think about what is a power couple and how does their relationship impact their success. So I really love that we were able to talk about this today. 

And, and then we mentioned a couple times you do have a program starting this fall, so it’s 2025, and it’s called Secrets of Power Couples. And it’s really for those who are ready for an elite level of transformation. Just really like profound, deep transformation, not just in their relationship, but as we talked about, in their success and their families, if they have them and their legacy. 

And so if you are curious about that, if you’ve been, you know, curious as we’ve been listening here, there’s an application process for serious candidates and you can go read all about it and watch testimonials at www.secretsofpowercouples.com and like I said, you may listen to this and go, I fit perfectly. Or you may listen and go, oh, I don’t know if we’re there yet. 

But don’t rule yourself out. If you really, really feel curious, check it out and apply, you never know.

Gigi: Yeah. Yeah. You never know. Yep.

Makena: Yeah. So thank you, Gigi, for your wisdom and we’ll have some more great relationship content coming to you guys soon.

Gigi: Okay, thank you, McKenna. Bye.

Makena: Bye.

Gigi: Bye.

Makena: Hello everyone, welcome back. This is Makena and I am doing a solo episode for you today. 

I do just want to say that it is gardening day, so Chloe, my dog, who is an adorable Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, thinks she is the guard dog of the home, and she is barking and barking at the gardener. So if you hear any of that going on in the background, it’s just life “lifing”, and we’re just gonna roll with it, because we’ve got a great episode for you today on how to tell your story and own the journey that brought you here.

I just got off a call with our Wealthy World Changers mastermind, and the women, we did a similar topic in that we took a certain frame on it that we’re not necessarily going to go super deep into in the podcast today. 

But the overall idea of really reflecting on your journey, on your life story and what brought you here, I did want to carry over because it’s so powerful. It seems simple, but how often do you really stop to think about that? 

To think about the pivotal moments, the challenges you’ve gone through, the gifts that it’s really brought, and how that ties into what you’re doing today in some way or what you’re here to share.

So this kind of reflective process can be so impactful, and there’s a lot of different ways that you can use it too. So if you’re listening to this going, “Sounds interesting, but why is this worth my time?” You might want to tell your story if you’re ever going to create a website for yourself. 

Then maybe you’re going to have an about page or a bio. Or if you have your own business and you’re creating social media posts, then you might take different pieces of your story. You might not tell the whole thing in one go, but different aspects of your story. Or if you ever want to give a speech or write a book, and even some version of your story, a very light version, could be for meeting someone at a party or building a deeper connection with someone.

Overall, I would say again, it’s very cathartic to go through this process for yourself. So I highly recommend, even if you’re not sure if this is for you, that you listen in and see what you can take away from today and actually really try it on. Apply it. Do some journaling around this. Do some self-reflection around this. I think you’ll be amazed at what you come out with.

Something that I shared on our call this morning with the Wealthy World Changers is this quote that I often say, which is, “Stories are the language of the soul.” I don’t know if I heard that somewhere years ago. If I did, then I would love to give credit, but I cannot remember. But it’s something I’ve been saying for years and years. 

Many of you know that my first career was actually as a direct response copywriter and marketing strategist. So a lot of what I did was writing people’s stories or writing aspects of their stories into their marketing copy. This was for New York Times bestselling authors and all kinds of people. 

I really got good at pulling the different pieces out and then knowing how to share them in such a way that they could really connect with their ideal audience or reader or client.

So you can use it this way, but you can also just use this again as a self-reflective process for yourself. Something that a lot of the women shared this morning is that when it came to looking at what brought them to where they are today, maybe they had seen aspects of that, but tying it all together was really powerful. 

The other “aha” that a lot of them shared was, “I’m still in this story. What is the legacy I want to share? What are the lessons I want to share? What are the gifts I want to share as a result of what I’ve gone through?” That was kind of this open-ended question that many of them were reflecting on after the call today.

This is something I see people struggle with a lot—how to share their story. They don’t know what parts of their story to share. They’ve lived a long life, right? What do they leave out? Will people even be interested in what they have to share? Why should they care? So this episode is really to talk to you first about how to own your story, because that’s really where it begins.

Owning your story is for you first.

There are a lot of different ways that you can do this. One exercise I did want to talk a little bit about today is going back and looking at what we call your origin story.

Owning your story is really for you first. It’s really looking at the value in your life experiences and what you’ve gone through. A lot of the time, I see people sort of brush over that or think, “Well, it’s nothing special.” But of course it’s special. You are the hero or the heroine in your own journey. It’s so powerful to really look at what is that journey that brought you here, and again, own that. There’s power in that, and that you’ve gone through challenges, and you’ve laughed, and you’ve loved, and you’ve cried—and that’s made you who you are today.

So that’s the first piece: to really own it. Sometimes I hear people say something like, “I haven’t really done anything all that special.” So if you feel that way at all, then I highly recommend you do this exercise I’m going to describe in just a moment. But even if you do own the value of your story to some degree, and you’ve done different exercises around this, this is going to help you go deeper.

One that I want to share is something that we call your origin story. Or you could call it your Genesis story. When we talk about superheroes, they have a Genesis story. It’s like, how did they become the superhero that they are? I’m not really a comic book or a superhero fan necessarily, but we all know that kind of story arc. Spider-Man got bit by the spider and went through this whole thing to become Spider-Man and then go out and help save the world. So what is your version of that?

The exercise I want to share with you is a fun, creative exercise where you just look at your life thus far. You could go all the way back to the beginning if you’d like. 

Maybe you take five-year chunks of your life—so zero to five, then five to ten, and so on. You could do this on a big cardboard poster board, or on Post-it notes, or on a piece of paper. 

But really jot down: what were the key moments, the key events that happened? They could be positive or challenging, in that period of time, that made you who you are today.

This is a fun kind of creative approach to really reflect back and go all the way back through your life story because there might be key things that you had forgotten. 

Think about what were the turning points on your journey—where something really shifted. What were the low points, the biggest challenges, or the high points?

Most importantly, think about what were the lessons out of each challenge. First, you might just look at the key events that happened—the lows and the highs and the turning points. 

Then, sort of extracting the gold is thinking about what did you learn from those experiences? How did they change you?

This idea that “stories are the language of the soul” is really talking about how, through millennia, this is how we’ve passed down information—through stories. This is how we’ve shared around the fire, so to speak. There’s something where stories touch us in a really powerful way, and we learn through stories more than anything else. 

So if you went to a speech and somebody just lectured on a bunch of theory, how would that impact you versus if somebody really told a powerful story—or multiple powerful stories? You walk away feeling touched in a different way, but you also remember in a different way what they shared.

So you have this process of reflecting back on all the key moments in your journey. Then you can really think, okay, if I were the hero or the heroine of my story and I were telling this story, how would I tell it?

The Hero’s Journey—many of you might be familiar with—Joseph Campbell was the first one to really famously identify this. I’m sure maybe people were talking about some version of it before, but he wrote a book in 1949 called The Hero with a Thousand Faces. 

He was a mythologist who really looked at myths and great stories and legends that exist in every culture in the world. He identified this story arc that wove through all of them, this kind of process of the hero or the protagonist of the story feeling the call to something more. 

Then they refuse that call at first, and ultimately follow it. They cross over the threshold from the known world—the world that they know—into the world of the unknown.

This is where they face challenges and trials and obstacles. Those might be external—like dragons and goblins and demons—or they might be internal: their own inner world, their patterns, whatever it is that comes up for them. 

So they face all these challenges, and then through the challenges, there’s some sort of gift or gifts. In the great stories, it’s usually something physical or metaphorical, or energetic or emotional, but some sort of gift or gifts that they gain as a result.

I’m synthesizing here; I’m summarizing. I believe he identified something like 12 different steps in the Hero’s Journey, but these can be simplified down. 

In short, they gain these gifts, they come back, they return home with these gifts, and they’re a changed person.

When you’re looking at your story, I believe that we go through at least one arc of this Hero’s Journey in our lifetimes. Probably, you could tell your story in that way, but also you could think about it as maybe you go through multiple smaller ones. 

This is a fun framework, but whether or not you use it in depth, it’s great to just look and see: again, what were the highs, the lows, the turning points, the lessons learned, and how did those lessons make you into who you are today?

This is a really powerful process. 

It’s worth taking an hour or two and diving into and thinking about: if you were the hero, the heroine, the superhero in your story, then how would you tell it? Don’t just tell it like, “And then we moved here, we did this, and da-da-da-da-da.” 

That’s not owning your story. It’s really: “Wow, this is who this made me become. This is what it was all for. 

I see this thread,” and that’s what usually happens. There’s this golden thread woven through your journey, and you go, “Wow.” Maybe you knew that, and maybe you’d never really reflected on it in this way before.

Depending on where you’re going to share your story, you might go into different aspects. So when you do your whole origin Genesis story, there’s going to be a lot there, and you’re not necessarily going to tell that whole story in most places. But you can see all these different pivotal moments along the way.

Let’s say you were creating social media copy. Then you could dive into any of those key turning points, or challenging times in your journey, or really high points in your journey, and you could write a post about that or do a video about it and share: What did you learn? What changed for you? How did that make you into who you are today? What were you feeling at that time?

That’s going to be relatable to someone. And either way, even if your audience—your ideal client—doesn’t directly relate, a lot of times your story is where your values got created, the things that are important to you. 

And if the people that you’re speaking to have shared values with you, then they’ll be captivated because they’ll see: “This is why this matters to her, and it matters to me too.”

So that’s just one example. You could take any of those key events or turning points and make it a social media post. 

Or you could shorten your story and look at a certain aspect of your story as it relates to what you do now. Maybe you use the Hero’s Journey as the story arc.

That’s what we did on the call today. The women really dug deeper to see: if we took this framework—or a simplified framework—of the Hero’s Journey to tell a version of their stories, how would they do that? It was so impactful for them to see: “There is this through line woven throughout my journey,” and a lot of times something that would be so powerful to share—whether that’s in a speech or your about page or wherever that is.

So when it comes to actually taking this into something that you can share with others—well, first of all, before we go into that, I’m teaching a lot of theory right now. 

Why don’t I tell you—I’m not going to go into my whole story, my whole Hero’s Journey here, because I’ve told that a lot in previous episodes—but I will share a couple of high-level points that might give you some context.

I could go all the way back to the beginning of being born into a family of coaches and personal development, being raised in that world. But most of the time when I tell my story, that’s not where I begin. If I’m working on a book—which I am—then I’m going to go all the way to the beginning. 

But when I tell my story in, let’s say, a speech or a podcast episode or something like that, typically I’m going to go back to this moment that Joseph Campbell would call “The Call,” which is: when did you feel the call to something more, to something different?

For me, the call really came through challenge. When I was in my late 20s, I’m running my marketing business, I’m successful on paper, and things are going great living in California—and I started having daily panic attacks. 

So I would spend several minutes every day, at least, thinking that I was dying and just really like the walls were closing in, I couldn’t catch my breath, thoughts looping around and around and around. It was this… it felt like I was trapped. I could not get out of these panic attacks and this pattern. I was scared out of my mind, thought something was seriously wrong with me.

This went on for months and months. I didn’t think of it as a call at that time, but looking back, I can really see that this was my body and my soul really speaking to me and saying, “Hey, something needs to change here.”

That was the call. I started to get the message and thought, “What is it I really want to do?” I checked out all the physical things—physically I was okay—so I had a sense that it had something to do with me stepping into maybe different work or more into my purpose. I decided to go out and try to start coaching. So I tried and failed to start a coaching business.

I would go deeper into the story if I was really telling it, but that is really the first big challenge or trial I faced in this part of my journey—trying and failing to start this business. 

That was super embarrassing and disheartening because I felt this call to go for something that I loved. This is what many women that we work with are feeling. Some of them are already doing what they love, but there are others who have a dream on their heart—or even if they are doing what they love, they have another bigger dream on their heart and soul. But the fear is, “What if I fail? What if I go for it and I fail?”

And I lived that fear. I went for it and I failed.

That was the first big challenge or trial on my journey. In my case, I went back to my marketing career for another year. The panic attacks continued. It wasn’t until about a year later that I had my true turning point moment, which is when I would say I stepped over the threshold from the world of the known to the unknown.

I was living very much in my head at that time, very much in go mode. There came this time where I went to Costa Rica, and my mom and I were there leading a retreat together. We went a couple of days early, and she led me through this process that I didn’t even know she was leading me through—asking me questions, helping me really relax and unwind in such a way that my vision started to come through. 

I always say it was like clarity dawned. I started to see glimpses of the life I really wanted and what I really wanted to do.

Again, not going deeply into that story right now, but this was a turning point, stepping-over-the-threshold moment, where there was no turning back. I ended up going for coaching in the end, but this time I had a clear vision and I had support and a believer, which is something that I didn’t have before.

That is the beginning of my story, right? That I would normally tell. 

Then there were other trials and tribulations along the way—the biggest one being, I would say, that I stepped into this work that I loved. I started making money at it. I went through many trials as I was getting that off the ground.

But the next big one that a lot of our clients relate to is that even though I stepped into my soul’s work, and even though I was making good money at it, I was still burning the candle at both ends. I was totally in go mode. I was overworking. I did that for the first couple of years that I stepped into this business. That was really hard, because there’s a saying: “Wherever you go, there you are.” That’s what I experienced. I did the thing. I had the courage. I broke through my fears. I went for it. 

I was successful at it. And yet… and yet, I still had these patterns.

That would be the next part of my story—really going into that. How did I break free of that ultimately? What were the lessons I learned? 

Many, if not most, of our clients relate to this part of my journey in the sense that they may be struggling with being stuck in go mode and wanting to learn a way to approach their life and their work from a different place.

I’ve done that. I’ve fully done that. I’ve integrated those lessons. They are part of who I am. I now have the ability to really dance between go mode and flow mode and to create in the world and be out there getting stuff done, but also to have a lot of ease, a lot of flow, a lot of what you might call balance. That’s something that most of the women we work with are really longing for.

So this is just an example, and I’m not going to go much deeper into my story at this time. 

There are many aspects I could tell, and it depends on the audience I’m speaking to. It depends on how long I have to tell my story. I could tell a five-minute version or a twenty-five-minute version or longer.

This is what I want to show you and demonstrate for you. Maybe you even heard something in my story just now—or you have before—that you relate to. 

So notice how powerful that is when you’re like, “She gets it. She’s gone through something similar,” or “She’s done something that I really long to do.” 

Notice that because I’ve really reflected on my story so much, I can lengthen it or I can shorten it. There’s a two- to five-minute version of it, and then there’s a 20-minute version. It never comes out 100% exactly the same, but that’s okay. It doesn’t matter.

It’s the essence of it that matters. It’s the feeling of it. It’s taking people back into your life experience. And no matter if you think it’s powerful or not, I promise you, it will carry energy with it if you use your story in the right way, at the right time, for the right audience.

So don’t worry about getting this right right now. I’m just giving you examples, and I’m giving you a way to start to think about this—and an example of a little aspect, a little sliver, of my own story.

So when it comes to, if you were going to take your story and then write, let’s say, an about page or bio for a website, then here’s the key: you don’t need to tell your whole life story. 

This is something people get caught up on, right? If I told you the whole story from the time I was a kid and everything we went through and all the trials and tribulations along the way and all the lessons that I learned—it would take a long time.

So I’m not going to go into that for most of the time for these purposes. But the version I just told you—that version, some part of that, or some version of that—I would definitely tell on an about page to really share: these were the key moments.

In fact, if you want to go, as an example, to makenasage.com and go to my About page—I’m pulling it up right now so I can actually look at it—I do this. I tell my story in kind of two main parts.

The first part being—and it says it on the side here—about an old belief I held, and then a new experience or a new paradigm I stepped into. So that old belief in that first part of my story was: I have to choose between making great money and doing work I love. I can’t have both.

And then the new experience or paradigm I stepped into was: When I do work I love, I make even more money, and life keeps getting better and better.

That was true in that first part of my journey—stepping into work that I loved and proving to myself that I would make even more money and life would keep getting richer. That was that first part of the story I told you.

Then I call it kind of my second rebirth. I went from this old belief of: I have to work hard to be successful, and the harder I work, the more successful I’ll be—to this new experience of: When I create space for what wants to flow through me, life and business feel effortless, and everything I desire is magnetized to me.

Believe it or not, I became even more successful by, in some ways, taking a step back—not fully back—but by learning to integrate more of the go and the flow.

So this is a great example. If you were writing an about page, you could look at this as an example. I tell my story here in kind of two parts, and then I talk about where am I now, or what changed, and how does that tie into how I support other people.

That’s one example of a way that you could write an about page and kind of take this exercise. 

So you don’t need to tell your whole life story—only the parts that are relevant to your ideal client or reader. What will they relate to?

And if they don’t relate specifically to your story, again, then what are some experiences that show you have shared values and care about similar things?

That should really be about 75% of what you share—relatable in some way.

Most people focus too much on their about pages or their bios on credibility. They think, I need to list all of my accolades. I need to list all my accomplishments. And that’s only one part of the puzzle.

It’s so important that people feel they can connect to you, can relate to you, or that you have shared values.

I’m doing my out-of-breath thing again. If you haven’t been listening to the podcast lately, I’m often out of breath these days because I am six and a half months pregnant—maybe more at the time that this podcast episode airs.

So think about your bio or your about page as 75% relatability, about 20% credibility—so you can share your achievements and those kinds of things if you want to—and then the last 5% is usually a call to action.

Like what do you want them to do after they read this? Do they book a call with you? Do they connect with you in some way? Do they sign up for a program or check out your programs or whatever that is?

So that’s a little framework for an about page.

And again, if you were telling your story for social media, then you might just take one little story. I could take the Costa Rica story of my turning point, or I could take trying and failing to start a coaching business the first time, or I could take any real point along the way, and I could tell probably many different posts from that one share.

These days, you can definitely use AI to help you. But I don’t want you to go too far into that, because otherwise your copy will end up sounding like AI. 

So if you are going to use this for a speech or a website or a social media post, just know that yes, we can tell if you just use ChatGPT to generate it.

Try to really—here are some of my favorite little quick tips on AI—have it ask you questions. Tell it what you want to do: “I want to write an about page for my website,” or “I want to write a version of my story I could tell in a speech.” Then tell it how long the speech is going to be, how much of it will be your story, and then say, “Can you please act as my speechwriting coach? And first, ask me questions about my story. Ask me questions that will help you help me write this effectively, and ask me questions that will help us really make sure this is in my voice and my tone and doesn’t just sound like AI.”

Then it will coach you. 

It will go back and forth with you and ask you a bunch of questions. Or you can give it examples of other people’s speeches you’ve liked. Put the link in there and say, “Watch the speech—I like this kind of framework.” Or say, “Look at these social media posts—I like this person’s approach.” 

So get really clear on the voice or the tone you want, and take the time to dig deeper.

If you’re going to use AI, it’s interesting. I do most of my writing myself, but on the rare occasion that I do use AI—because I want to just bring in a little bit of a different element or something like that—I always marvel at how it takes me just as long with AI as it does on my own.

Again, it comes out a little differently than it would if I was just writing it myself. And sometimes, because I’ve written for so many years—I transitioned out of copywriting many years ago, but I write all of our copy for our business, so emails, the show notes for this podcast, like everything—I do all that writing. I

 might utilize AI sometimes for ideas, but I always tweak and I always make sure that it is in my voice. So it’s in our voice as a company—mine and my mom’s.

It’s interesting because it takes me just as long. I had this the other day writing some emails. I was like, you know, I always write them kind of the way I write them, and it’s actually quite fast for me at this point to write them myself because I have so much practice. 

But I thought maybe I’d get a little bit of a different lens or a different way of approaching this. And it took me probably longer to write it with AI because we went back and forth on versions. I said, “Lay out how you could do it this way,” or, “Ask me questions,” “Make sure this is in my voice.”

I’ve given it lots of examples of my writing, so this back and forth took a while. I love AI as a time-saving tool, but I like it even more as a brainstorming tool or a way to help you refine and kind of use it almost like a person coaching you, versus just letting it write whatever it writes—and then it sounds like it was written by AI.

That’s just my little soapbox there if you are working on your story, because the story is so personal to you. I really want you to take the time and dig deeper if you are going to share it.

So you could do this just as an exercise for you again and go through your life’s journey, and it can be very powerful. Or if you’re really going to say, “OK, how do I go out and apply this?” 

Then again, use AI—but use it, I would say, the right way. Not that there’s a right way, you can find your own. Just make sure it doesn’t sound like that—it sounds like you, because this is your story and your journey.

So for business networking, if you’re going to tell a version of your story, you definitely don’t need to tell your whole story. But you could tell a super short version. At a women’s networking event, people could say, “Well, tell me a little bit about you.” And I could say, “Well, let me tell you a story.”

I could literally just start that way. “Let me tell you a story. Seven years ago, I was in a very successful career. It looked great on paper, but I started feeling this call to something more. And I didn’t want to listen. And it turned into anxiety and panic attacks, and I could not seem to get clear on what I wanted to do. And ultimately, it really took a guide and a mentor who stepped in and helped me break through and see my bigger vision—and then have the courage to pursue it.”

That was seven years ago, and I stepped into work I loved. It’s been amazing. I love helping women step into their bigger visions.”

I could even end it there. Or, if I had a little more time or wanted to go deeper, I could go into the go mode and flow mode part of things, or whatever that is. 

But notice that was—even just as I told it—a very short version of a story. And it’s absolutely true. That’s a huge piece of what we support our clients to do: What is that something more for you? And stepping into that.

It doesn’t have to be a business like it was for me. It could be a calling, a legacy, traveling more—it could be whatever that is for you. But for many of our clients, it is a business, or it is a project, or it is their next level of leadership.

That’s an example of how you can tell a very short version of your story at, let’s say, a networking event. 

And notice how that’s more powerful than just saying, “Well, I’m a coach for women,” right? That kind of closes off the conversation. You start with a story, then people lean in and often want to know more.

So this is a very—I would say fun, but also kind of dense—topic today. And we’re going to leave it at that and let you play and run with it.

Don’t take it too seriously. Don’t try to get it right. Just reflect. Enjoy. You have no idea where this exercise might take you, what might get sparked out of it.

If you have some interesting ahas, please write in and share them with us. You can write to support@wayofthemuse.com. We love hearing from you. We love hearing how you’re applying these things.

I think that’s it for today. If you know someone in your life who would benefit from this—whether they’re an entrepreneur or just someone you thought of when you were listening to this episode—please sh