The Art of Feminine Success: Go Mode & Flow Mode

Gigi: Welcome back. We have a great topic for you today, one that we love and are passionate about. 

Makena: This is one of my favorites, and we’re going to talk about “go-mode And flow mode.” But most of you listening have no idea what that means. So, to give a little bit of context, you may have heard the terms masculine and feminine when talking about energies that we all have within us.

How this relates to the way of the muse is that I really see the way of the muse as this dance between these two energies, especially for men and women. We mostly work with women. How do you dance between the energies of go and flow at different times in your life? Because we need both. 

The reason we really got away from using the terms masculine and feminine, which have typically been used to describe these energies (or it could also be yin and yang), is because I related to having a lot of go-mode energy. 

In the past, people would say, “Oh, you have a lot of masculine energy.” It just didn’t sit right with me to put gender-related labels on these energies, which, yes, typically, men have more go-mode, and women have more flow mode, but that’s not always true. There are a lot of shades of gray within this.

So today, we’re really going to talk about this because some of you listening have more go energy right now. Some of you are more in the flow energy, and there are pros and cons to each. This is just to introduce you to these. 

Gigi, you’re the one who really taught me so much about what I know about these topics.

Gigi: I taught you so much, it’s amazing how much we cover! 

Makena: Right. Where did we find the time? 

Gigi: You were such a great student, I tell you. 

Makena: Oh, thank you.

You’ve shared with me and talked in your work and trainings for years and years about the history of women going into the workplace and what happened there. 

I think this is a really important context. Would you share a little bit about that?

Gigi: Yeah, I started working with women around this topic in the early 90s, really, when women were going into corporate jobs, working in both Germany and the U.S. because I was already working in Europe at that time. 

What I found was that women went into this very masculine environment because it was predominantly men, of course. They had to change themselves. They really had to shift and become more action-oriented, more aggressive in many ways, to be taken seriously in their jobs because they were new to the game. These were predominantly male companies or male industries. 

In order to survive, they had to make that shift to keep their jobs and be taken seriously in the corporate environment.

When I started working with women in the 90s, I showed them ways of tapping back into more of the flow mode or what you’d call feminine energy and bringing that into their work while still having the go-mode or more masculine energy, creating more of a balance. 

I also showed them that their more feminine and flow abilities could be used in ways that could really assist them in advancing in companies. 

In 2005, I was at JPMorgan Chase in New York City and worked with women through JPMorgan Chase across several states. What I taught them was how they could bring their more flow-based skills into their work. By doing that, they were able to advance by integrating the two energies.

Makena: That’s so fascinating. You even saw it with fashion and clothing, right? 

When women first entered the workplace, they wore suits that looked like what the men were wearing, with big shoulder pads. Some of you listening may not even know about or remember this depending on your age, but if you ask your parents or research a little, you’ll find that this is true. It was not that long ago. 

That’s what always fascinates me about this. I was just talking with someone the other day whose parent was one of the first females to go to a college in Canada. We’re talking just within a couple of generations here, where women were in a very different place when it came to not working much and then entering the workforce. It makes a lot of sense that when they first came in, they felt they had to act like men to be taken seriously.

But what you’ve really talked about for so long is how, first of all, times have shifted, and there’s still some of that going on. But there is this different way. Also, though they felt like they had to act like men, what you’ve shown women is that by bringing in some of these feminine or flow mode qualities, they actually do even better in the workplace. 

It seems counterintuitive, but it’s what you’ve found.

Gigi: Yes, exactly. I went into another company that actually brought me in because they felt like they weren’t advancing. I worked with the top 80 executive women there. They were in the oil industry, predominantly men, and the women’s focus group hired me to help them advance. 

What I noticed was that my work is very self-reflective and also looks at how women had developed certain habits that were counterproductive. They were building resistance by going against the men in their company. 

So, I showed them how to tap into more flow mode skills and how to communicate with the men using these new skills. When they did this, it shifted the dynamic. 

Women no longer approached men like men, but they did so from a more feminine side. 

Often, when we think of the feminine or flow, we may think of it as not strong or wishy-washy, but for these women, it was about being cooperative instead of competitive, which led to collaboration. 

Many of those women advanced within six months. The man who hired me even asked what I did because one of the women was so different in her communication with him. She became more receptive and open, and through that, they started collaborating and working together.

Makena: I love that story because I think women often feel that if they are more feminine or in the flow mode, they won’t be taken seriously, they won’t advance, or they won’t be as successful. 

But what you’ve really found through decades of work is that when they learn to integrate these energies and approach work more cooperatively, they actually advance more, and the company benefits overall.

Gigi: Absolutely. I’ve seen that in every corporation I’ve worked with. Women were shocked because they had been in go-mode for years and didn’t know any other way. 

Now, we have options. The climate has changed, and while some women in companies are still more in their masculine, entrepreneurship has also allowed more women to find balance. 

However, we often see that even women entrepreneurs are in go-mode and are under pressure while building their businesses rather than integrating go-mode and flow mode. 

When you find that integration, as you have, Makena, it’s so different how you approach your life and business. It has a ripple effect in every area of your life, not just in business but also in your personal life.

Makena: This has been one of my biggest challenges in life, and it’s why I’m so passionate about it—I’ve struggled with it so much. I look back and see a couple of reasons why I went so far into go-mode during my teen years and twenties.

There’s nothing wrong with go-mode in itself, but what I found was that being so far on that side of the spectrum had consequences. It led to stress, anxiety, panic attacks, burnout, and hormonal dysregulation. 

My body physically wasn’t made to hold that much go-mode energy. It’s not that women can’t tap into go-mode, but physiologically, it wasn’t working. 

It was like the circuits were getting overloaded. That was the challenging side, but the positive side was that I was a high performer, a high achiever, and successful. I did well in school and had successful businesses. 

It was even harder to unwind these patterns because I thought, “Well, it’s working.”

We see that a lot with women. They know they need or want change, but they fear making a change because they think, “Why would I change if this is working?” 

Gigi: And there’s fear if they do make a change. Often, there was financial fear for you as well. How did that work for you?

Makena: Well, I really saw, looking back, because I went, where did this come from? And I saw two different places where this really originated for me. One was kind of a positive influence, which was I was the kind of kid who loved getting praise for anything that I did.

I realized early on that if I was smart and did well in school, whatever it might be if I were a high performer, then I would get a lot of positive praise from you, from my dad, and from other people. And so that started, I think, the tendency towards being a high performer, high achiever.

When we went through a lot of financial ups and downs in our teens, we went through that family-dark night of the soul that we’ve talked about. This financial fear came into play for me, and I thought, I never want to worry about money again. I never want to feel that feeling. 

And so I thought, I’m going to do whatever it takes to be successful. I went so into this go-mode because I thought I needed to get good grades, get into a good business school, and do X, Y, and Z to be successful. 

So, for me, those were a couple of the roots, but with other women, we see all kinds of places this comes from.

I remember interviewing women for our book, and one of the women said that one of her relatives told her when she was really young that she should never need to rely on a partner for her security. She really internalized that. She was like, it was her dad. She really internalized that and said, I’m going to do whatever it takes to never have to rely on a partner.

For some, it’s really about proving to someone that they’re smart enough or capable enough to become successful because maybe somebody said something, and they want to prove them wrong. Maybe they said they weren’t going to be successful.

So there are all kinds of ways this starts. And I think it also just starts with women, especially women in the workplace. But I even see it in women who are moms, and all kinds of women that get into this go, go, go. 

It’s just somehow the way our society is set up right now. Women think they need to hold it all together and be the superwoman.

That’s really been my experience in terms of where it came from. Again, it wasn’t a bad thing, but I think it got into overdrive or hyperdrive, and that was really, really challenging for me.

Gigi: So, what’s the shift? What’s the shift in you now? And how’s that different? How do you apply go-mode and flow mode in your work and your life?

Makena: It’s a great question. How I experience it now… a lot of times, people talk about the word “balance,” but we don’t use that word very often because balance feels like trying to keep both sides even.

So, I love that you’ve always talked about it as more of a dance between these two energies. That’s what I experience now. There are areas and aspects of my life and business where I really enjoy the go-mode energy. It’s fun. I like to get into that energy of getting stuff done, taking action, and moving things forward in our business or my life.

I do that a lot during my working hours. However, I’m also much more relaxed about it now. That’s a change. You really taught me to come from ease and this other energy instead of stress and pressure. That was a huge change for me.

Gigi: That’s just an approach, and that was an awareness when you started to see that you were approaching every project from stress. 

I would say to you, “You could just as easily approach that from ease.” 

When you wake up in the morning, you can say, “Oh, I’ve got so much to do,” or you can say, “Yes, I’ve got a lot to do. How am I going to approach this today?” 

It can feel intense, but the way we approach it is huge.

I think some of those differences are that the “go” mode is about making things happen, which we have to do in business, and the “flow” mode is more about letting things happen. 

So, there is that when you make something happen, and as you said, you feel good about getting things done. But then there’s the approach of allowing things to happen and not always being under pressure to make them happen. That’s a big distinction. 

Being more receptive also means more flow mode. It’s not about trying to control everything and making everything look the way you think it should.

We often see this with perfectionism, which is more of the go-mode. flow mode is about allowing things to happen, being receptive, and tapping into your teams, allowing them to really participate instead of always being the one who has it all and is making it all happen.

Makena: That’s a collaborative approach, right?

Gigi: Yes. I work with you around this all the time—even to not taking everything on and tapping into your team, allowing them to make mistakes and then come to you. That’s more of a receptive, flow-oriented way of growing your business.

Makena: So, my day-to-day experience is that there’s more ease. I feel more relaxed. I’m not physically as tense and tight as I used to be. 

There used to be this feeling, as we’ve talked about in previous episodes, of “Oh my God, if I don’t get it all done…” Stress and pressure often come around financials, and there’s a huge stress around time. 

When you feel like there’s not enough time, you start to wind yourself up, or at least I would start to wind myself up and go into that go-mode in a less healthy or more intense way. 

It’s so interesting because what I’ve really discovered over the course of unwinding this pattern—and let me just say, for those of you listening, this has taken years, though I don’t think it necessarily has to take as long as it took me—is that there were levels and layers to unwinding this pattern and really finding my way to dance between both energies. 

Something that I really have found, and you always told me this, but I don’t think I really believed you, was that it feels like you’re getting more done when you’re in go-mode all the time. But in the end, you don’t necessarily get more done, or you do get more done, but it’s not always the right things.

Or let’s say that you’re so in the go-mode that you get so exhausted and have to stop everything because you burn out, or you need to take a few days off, or whatever it might be, and you end up losing energy and time in the long run. 

So, there’s this really counterintuitive, surprising dynamic where it feels like being in the go-mode all the time is necessary to be effective. 

But over time, I’ve found that it’s not always true. You need both energies.

Gigi: And to go fast, you have to slow down—slow down to go faster. When you slow down and are more attentive and aware of how you’re spending your day, you avoid just winding yourself up and doing, doing, doing. There’s no thinking in that, no strategy. 

When I started to slow down and become more easeful, the other thing was that I remembered that with women, we see things, we feel things, and we are intuitive. Then, you can tap more into your intuition instead of just being in your head all the time.

Makena: I might see opportunities I didn’t see otherwise or things that I should be approaching differently instead of just checking things off the list.

Gigi: Or just think about that person. We’ve had these conversations before, and I’ll sit down with you and say, “Talk to this person, do this, do that,” and you’ll be like, “How did you see to bring all these people in that are going to support us?”

And that’s because I sit back and take action, but I first look to see in that more receptive mode, “What’s the overall picture here? What’s the more easeful picture? What needs to happen? Where’s the strategy that needs to happen?” 

When you’re always in go-mode, you can’t see that. You’re blind to it completely.

Makena: Now, there will be women listening. We’re speaking a lot to the go-mode side because that’s what a lot of people we work with experience, but we also come across women who are really far on the flow mode side of things. That is a struggle and a challenge in its own way. I think being too far on either side of the spectrum can be a challenge. 

Can you speak to that a little bit? What do you see when women are really on the flow mode side of things, yet they want to move a dream forward or start a business? What do you notice there?

Gigi: In the flow mode, there’s a sense—and I see this, I see things that are out there and are written—that when you’re in this flow and just letting everything happen, things should just work. And if there’s any kind of pressure, then you’re going in the wrong direction.

For women who have that tendency, it’s important to understand that if you’re trying to grow a business, business involves pressure. That’s all there is to it. There are ups and downs and all kinds of experiences we go through. That’s where the masculine or the moving something forward comes in—you have to integrate that into the way you build your business.

The flow mode becomes addictive, and then what happens is there’s a sense that anytime there’s pressure or something just doesn’t feel right, then you’re not supposed to do it. 

If you’re building a business, that’s a recipe for disaster. No real success can come from that because we must integrate the two. 

When we talk about this, no one’s wrong. If you’re in the flow mode and you’ve been caught up in that, and going more into the go-mode feels stressful, we’ve worked with some women who have come into our masterminds, and they’ve been more in that flow mode. 

It’s a muscle to learn—to take the action and move your business forward. But when they practice this over time, they start to get results, and they can still integrate that beautiful flow. 

It’s easy to be in flow, but you really need both, especially for business.

Yeah, especially for moving ahead. So, that’s what I see. What do you see in terms of working with flow?

Makena: Again, it’s a spectrum, and you’ll have to identify for yourself where on the spectrum you are and where you want to be. There’s no right or wrong way. But if you are on the side of being very connected to your intuition, very much in the receptive, receiving, and seeing ideas, but you look and realize you’re not getting the results you want—whether in business or moving something forward—then that might be a sign there’s room to develop the other side, the go-mode side.

And if you’re on the side where you’re in the go, the stress, the pressure, maybe getting results but sensing there’s a cap on those results or feeling like you just can’t keep it up anymore because you’re exhausted or having anxiety, then that might be a sign you’re more on the go-mode side. 

Again, it’s not about one being right or wrong or good or bad. It’s about the way we see and work with women to move their dreams forward, grow their businesses in a way that not only makes them money or helps them create an impact in the world but also feels good and fits the life and lifestyle they want.

This integration between the two is something we go deeply into in many of our programs. We did want to mention that in The Collective, our monthly membership program, at the time of this episode’s airing, we’re going into a season around this topic—feminine success or feminine business. How do you learn to dance between these two energies? So, if that’s something you’re curious about, you can go to wayofthemuse.com/collective. That’ll be a course and season we go through together.

Gigi: I think you should describe that a little more. The collective is a group, not really around business, but around different topics where we have programs that Makena and I have developed. You go in; there’s a membership site where you can listen to those programs and learn from them, which is super helpful and fun. There are a couple of weeks a month where you get together with the other women, have dialogue, do exercises, and do things like that.

Makena: Yes, we have live calls, a community, and different topics and seasons we go through. The topic we’re going into now is feminine success. 

There’s only so much we can dive into in a podcast episode, but I think the big takeaway here is to ask, “Where on the spectrum am I right now?” and identify one piece to focus on. 

If there’s one takeaway for someone on the go-mode side of things, I think you really shared the piece about coming from more ease and coming from that energy.

Gigi: That’s a keyword. When I’ve given women the word “ease,” it really triggers something. Most of us can sense what ease feels like. If I start approaching 10 percent of my day with more ease—going into the office and handling my to-do list in a more easeful, playful, and lighter way—that’s part of the flow. There’s more enjoyment in your life and business.

Makena: And if someone is more on the flow mode side of things and they feel like they want to start integrating more of the go-mode, I think a great way to begin is to choose whatever it is you want to move forward with, whether it’s a project, business, or dream, and stick with it for a certain amount of time.

Gigi: That’s a good one. Take action and, no matter how you feel, go for it.

Makena: Otherwise, we see the sort of jumping from idea to idea, which can be a downside, and never really moving anything forward in a big way. 

So, pick something, choose an amount of time—say six months—and really stick with it and take the action. That’ll start to develop more of the go-mode side of things.

Gigi: Yes, and I will say the flow mode, or the more feminine… it’s always tricky because everybody has a different definition of feminine, but feminine in the sense that if you are a woman and you relate to being a woman, and you’ve been acting more like you feel masculine, it’s so important to see how to tap into that feminine side of yourself and to make that your base from where you live. 

Then learn the go-mode or be in the go-mode at times when it’s important, like we said, to make things happen because your natural skills as a feminine, and as a woman, are your gifts. Those will enliven you, and they will ultimately take your projects much further.

And I think in other episodes, we’ll go much more deeply into the power of the feminine and how to use that in a way that it really is part of your life and helps you get ahead and find your sweet spot.

Makena: Can you explain what you mean a little more there? So you’re saying for women or people who identify as female, there’s something about tapping more into our feminine. I’m not sure if I followed that completely.

Gigi: Well, it’s about tapping more into the receptivity, gathering information instead of always being out there and making things happen, and being in action because our systems are ultimately not wired to do that all the time.

Women are wired to take breaks. We’re wired to be more receptive. We are wired to allow things to happen. 

If you are never in the mode of receptivity, there is burnout. That’s what you dealt with, right? Because you were constantly in this kind of male, masculine way of being—this go-mode—and you never had the time to fully be receptive or easeful.

So, the go-mode is important, especially for business. But I do want to say your flow mode or your more feminine side is extremely important. If you’re not accessing that, it’s good for your health. It’s good for so many different pieces of your life, for you to fully live and enjoy being a woman.

Makena: And I’m on the continued journey, I will say, with this. I’ve come so far, and the day-to-day experience of this, as I touched on before, is more relaxed, more in my body, more present, more connected—like you’re saying to intuition, to seeing things in a different way, to kind of that deeper knowing of what I want and where things can go. While still having those strengths that I’ve developed of getting things done and moving something into action. 

So, that’s to come, speaking from the place of what’s your experience. 

I’m curious because you are different than me, with a different system and a different body. When you have that integration, what’s the experience that you speak from? Is it the same, or is it different than mine?

Gigi: Well, I think my experience… we talked about how when women relax, they become wise. That was part of it. I was in go-mode for so many years, running my business, even while teaching women how to step more into their feminine. I was growing a successful international business and was so busy. 

My trip to Thailand really changed that for me. I found a different approach, and when I integrated that into my life, oh, my life became so much better. I became a better coach because I was able to teach women both—the go and the flow.

My experience is that I had much more richness in my life and personal life because I didn’t take that go-mode home every day. I find that often, when women are in go-mode, and it becomes a habit, they do take it home, and it often interferes with relationships as well.

Makena: I definitely experienced that. That’s been a big shift as well, the difference in not only my romantic relationship, and my marriage, but also in friendships. I’m so much more present and connected than I was before because, in go-mode, it was like I had blinders on. I wasn’t connected to the seeing, sensing, feeling, and presence with people the way that I am much, much more now.

Obviously, we could talk for days and days about this topic, but I think that’s a great introduction for you all. If you are curious to go deeper, you can go to wayofthemuse.com/collective and learn about our monthly membership program there in the course we have going on around feminine success. 

Thank you, Gigi.

Gigi: Thank you, Makena. And thank you to everyone listening.