Become the Woman You’re Meant to Be… Confidently Create Your Biggest Dreams.

Makena: Welcome to episode five!  We are recording this a few months after we recorded our first few episodes because we took a little while to get it all pulled together. 

Gigi: Yeah. So that was back in November in Costa Rica, right? So now – we’re launching this week. Yeah, which is awesome. 

Makena: Yep, and now it’s April. Yay!

So excited to finally be sharing this with you and bring regular episodes wherever you listen to your podcast. So thank you for listening if this is your first time or if you’ve been listening to the first few.

So today we’re going to talk about “Become The Woman You’re Meant To Be And Confidently Create Your Biggest Dreams.” 

So this is our tagline for the show and we wanted to just share where did this come from?

Gigi, you want to tell that story of how we came up with this?

Gigi: Yeah. So as we started writing the book – which we’re still working on. We went out and talked to several of my clients. A lot of those had been with me for many years – over 10 years. And what we saw is there was a common theme that emerged from the interviews that we did. 

The women said that they felt they were more like themselves than they had ever been. They also felt they had really become the woman they were meant to be. And they were living the lives that they had dreamed about previously.

The other factor that really showed up was that they also had more confidence in themselves and confidence to really go for what they wanted.

They had a lot of clarity too. 

Makena: Yeah. For those of you listening, I don’t know if you’ve ever tuned in in this way – but maybe you have. Where you get this deep down feeling of, “Am I on the right path in some way? Am I really in alignment with the life I’m meant to be living?” 

And sometimes it’s just this niggling like, “Ugh, something needs to change!” Or sometimes it’s like, “Yes! We get that full body yes feeling.” 

If you’ve never tuned into that, maybe it’s something you can start to do a little bit now. But we do know from working with women, that the more they step into the lives that are in alignment for them, they have this feeling – “I am becoming the woman I meant to be. I am living the life I meant to live.” 

So we want to talk a little bit about that today. How do you step more and more into that version of you? Then, how do you get the courage and the confidence to go for your dreams? 

In our story episodes, we touched on a high level on a lot of our stories. And in this episode, we want to go a little deeper into how we both began going for our bigger dreams and becoming more of the woman that we meant we were meant to be. 

And so we’re going to do this through “A Tale Of Two Women,” as we’re calling it. 

So Gigi, in her story, shared that she at first was living kind of on autopilot in her life,  and then stepped really onto her path and began to follow her aliveness. But for many of you, you might not know what we mean when we say “follow your aliveness.”

So Gigi, take us back again. Where does this all begin? And how did you start to learn to “follow your aliveness?”

Gigi: Yeah. As I shared in my story, I attended a workshop in 1985. At that time, I was single, I had two small children and I had been on autopilot for years. Because, I was basically just trying to survive – I was raising my kids and working.

Then I had this opportunity to attend a workshop, which I never even really heard of. When I went to this workshop, the fascinating thing that happened was I sat up in front of the room and the trainer at that time asked me simple questions like, “What do you want?”

At that moment, I was stunned because I’ve never really thought about what I wanted. I’m just in my life, trying to go, trying to survive. And as I looked around in the room, there were so many curious people just waiting for my answers. As I sat there I started to think about, “What did I want?”

I started to share some of the things that I wanted. I would love to travel.

When I shared this, the people in the room said, “Oh, she lit up.” And what they meant by that is when I talked about it, there became more light in my eyes. I could actually even see it in people. I noticed this as I went through the workshop and I observed other people.

I got more animated. There was brightness in my eyes. Sometimes when people sat in front of the room and shared what they wanted – they lit up, their face changed, they got younger.  And so people were giving me this feedback.

I think I shared at one time I’d always dreamed about living on an island and having my children and being married. And again, people said, “Oh, you light up there.” 

So having this experience, and sitting in front of the room was so powerful. Because the first time I felt, “Oh my gosh! I can actually choose what I want to do in this life. I never had even thought about that.” 

Then the other profound thing that happened in this workshop, is when I set out and I watched other people. They would share something that was really dear to their heart – and you would see them, the eyes would get brighter, their faces would change. Sometimes they would become animated and excited. And the other thing is, sometimes you could even feel it in the room which was profound.

You could feel a change in the room when people said what was truly honest for them. So I sat out in that room too, and I was so fascinated by it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought, “Wow, I would love to do something like this with people. I love to work with people this way.

So you can imagine when I left there, I was on fire. 

I felt like I had found the key to the universe. I was excited and happy. I started to look at life differently. My perspective shifts. 

And I started to look at it from this lens of, “Wow. If I can do things that I want to do, how could I travel? How could I go to an island?”

And so that’s the way it started for me.

Makena: Yeah. I love that story. I’m curious for people listening, because we’ve heard this term, “What lights you up?” 

But at the time when you first heard this, nobody was talking about that. 

Gigi: No, actually the trainer that was leading it, he created it. Yeah.

Makena: Yeah. But now it’s everywhere – “What lights you up?”

But I feel like people don’t really know – sometimes we kind of know.

But what you were getting at that moment was an actual real time reflection of your “lighting up” when you talk about this thing. And that gave you clues to what was really close to your heart and soul. What you had aliveness around, right? 

How is that different though? Because I think most of us have seen people really animated, really lit up, really doing something they love. And we’ve seen that – we’ve had that experience. 

But sometimes people can be smiling and very animated, but they’re not actually lighting up.

Can you just make that distinction? What’s different there?

Gigi: Yeah. You’ve seen people who are talking about something and they’re smiling but not conducting. Somehow you can sense or feel – it’s not really authentic. We all had that experience – it’s like putting on a mask.

Basically we all wear a mask, all of us do. 

But when someone really taps in – first of all, this ends up being my work. I’ve developed it over 37 years – is that we tap into our vitality.

So when someone taps into their vitality and what brings them alive, you can see it, you can feel. It’s contagious.

Makena: Yeah. It’s contagious. It’s like a glow that comes from the inside.

And like you said, it’s not just a smile. It really comes through the eyes. And it comes through their energy. You can really feel the difference.

So you started to learn to measure this basically. That was what you learned in those early days – to follow the clues of what you were curious about, of what brought you alive. 

So you mentioned travel, and this work around coaching.

Tell us a little bit more about how that evolved as you continued. 

Gigi: Well, because I was fascinated about the workshops, I started assisting them. This is something that I’m super excited about. I had such a profound experience. They let me assist them. And then I started selling them because I was just so on fire.

I had my parents come, my friends, or anyone! I could tell that I wanted to share this new feeling with everyone.

So I really immersed myself also in the environment. Through that I started learning more, and find things where I felt alive or things that I was curious about. And I would start to go in that direction. 

And that’s the way I’ve lived my life ever since then. So that’s the way I started.

I started in the workshops. And I had always dreamed about going to an Island. And there came an opportunity where the leader was leading a workshop on Maui with Gary Kraftsow, who is a very famous yoga teacher now and has many books out.

And I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is my opportunity.”

So I figured out a way to get myself there. And that became my first immersive experience in a different kind of workshop. 

And then I fell in love with Maui. 

Makena: Yeah. What year was that? Do you remember? 

Gigi: That was 1985. It was 1985. 

Makena: Yeah. And so you fell in love with Maui. I was born there a couple of years later. So obviously, you eventually moved. 

And you started leading workshops.  And so it became this path of continuing to follow your curiosity and incorporate the different aspects of what you loved. 

It really became like a way of life for you.

Gigi: Absolutely. As I got more into personal development, I started reading things. I eventually went to other workshops and collected tools. But I started developing my work very early on. Through collaboration with my mentor, there are certain topics that I really resonated with.

One of them was men and women. I was fascinated by the masculine and feminine – the dynamic and communication between men and women. So, I followed that and that’s where I developed my first workshops as well. 

Makena: And then later, you talked about in your story, your books and everything really came out of these different pieces of the puzzle.

And one thing we were discussing before we got on here is that – you couldn’t have planned the way that all unfolded.

Gigi: Oh my gosh, yeah. If I look back, I didn’t make a plan. 

We talk about clarity – a lot. And we do that really well with people. But the way I experienced this was I found this tool and I really honed it. 

I think that’s why my work is today. That’s what it is. Because I was so passionate about it. I saw how to use it and every aspect of what I’ve grown and developed has been from that. There was no plan there.

I sometimes sit and think about – I was the girl pregnant at 18 years old. 

I could have never imagined this life that I grew.

Makena: I think that’s such a fascinating thing. Many people would say that, but a lot of people follow the path that they think they’re going to follow. And this opened up a new dimension for you.

Where you began to follow, not the path that was laid out for you, not what you thought you should do, but really to follow this energy, this aliveness and then design this life around that. 

And it led you to all kinds of unique experiences and this work that you do. I just think that’s so fascinating.

How did you get the courage? Because I think a lot about what you did – when I looked at your story, I’m like, “Wow, that was really courageous.” To just go to Maui and move with your kids, start leading these workshops. Start doing all these different things. 

People weren’t doing that back then. Now travel – so many people do it. But you were going to Europe early, early on and leading workshops and taking your whole family.

How did you have the courage to do all of that?

Gigi: It’s a little bit, my personality. So I am kind of flying by the seat of your pants girls. That’s not always good!

I just go for things. I often don’t think about it. It’s like, I see something and I want it. And I just go for it.

I’ve had many people ask me, “How do you travel the world alone a lot of your time?” 

And I thought, “I’ve never really thought about that before.”

Women will say, “I’m scared to do that.”

I’m like, “I’m not scared at all.”

I’m insatiably curious – I think it is one of the things. My curiosity and my aliveness is the thing that I love to follow. I follow that all the time. That’s the way I am. That’s not the way everyone is. 

You’re a very different type of person, right? 

Makena: Yeah, absolutely. But I do think there are people that are listening. I mean, you and I are so different in so many ways. Of course, we have similarities because we’ve spent so much time together and we do similar work.

But you are very much like the visionary, the creative, maybe more impulsive in some ways. But you have this dynamicism and I definitely meet people like that. And that’s their more natural way.

I think there will be people who listen to this, who relate to your approach. But my approach was very different. 

My Tale of Two Women was the one that was really in stress and fear in my teens and early twenties. Then really stepping into the version of myself who was willing to take risks and really pursue my bigger dreams.

So very different.  

Gigi: The other part that I think I should share is I also had a mentor that challenged me and set up situations where I would go out and take risks – I would do it. I did it and maybe that’s what I needed. For me that was exciting. I like adventure.

I had many instances where I was scared. But because it was like a challenge and set out there for me, I went for it.

Makena: A little bit like on the edge there. Not me at all. I’ve gotten to grow into more courage because I was very risk averse.

For me, a lot of that came down to… because we went through that “dark night of the soul” that we both shared about in our episodes.

I had a lot of financial fear because we went through financial ups and downs at that time. And it’s just the kind of person I am. I came in with a little bit more of a risk averse personality.

Security was very important to me. More predictability was important to me. I liked to know what the plan was, what was going to happen – 10 steps ahead. 

That was great. It was in one way a superpower.

But I was also in a lot of pain. I was really longing for something.

Gigi: Yeah. I mean, you made a huge shift, right? Because that was so much of who you had become. But as you discovered, it’s really not who you are completely.

Makena: That was the interesting thing. So this theme again becoming the woman you’re meant to be. I really thought I knew who I was.

I had a fixed idea of my personality – of how I was. 

I thought I was this serious, structured, you know, high achiever, smart. These were the words I used to define myself and all those things were true. I have those elements or those aspects to myself.

But what I’ve really discovered on my journey as I started to follow my aliveness. When I saw that I had always had this curiosity around coaching and I wanted to go in this direction. But I really didn’t know how. 

Then in 2017, I tried and completely failed to start a coaching business. And then for the risk averse person that I was, that was devastating.

Gigi: That was really tough. Yeah. Because there is the evidence. I shouldn’t take the risk.

Makena: Exactly. It was like, “Then this must not be it.”

And the financial piece of it, “Well, if I can’t make this work financially, I just don’t think I can do it.”

I’m going to go back to security for me – which was my marketing business. My marketing career was something I knew. And I knew I could make money at it. I knew I could be successful. 

And then you really helped me though, to see a different path. To see a way to transition. 

Gigi: Yeah. And then you really did transition. We didn’t take the leap. You transitioned by really seeing how could you work in your copy business. Remember what we did?

Makena: I think it’s important to break down. Because I touched on it in my story, but I didn’t go deeply into it. So, I went to you I remember or we were talking.

And I really saw I want – to do this coaching thing. 

I’ve tried this before and it didn’t work. I don’t know how I’m gonna do this financially. I don’t have time. I’m working full time in my business. What’s going to give here to allow me to start to earn and coaching, when I’m fully, fully immersed in my marketing business. 

Do you want to break down a little bit of what you told me to do, or at least what you remember of it?

Gigi: I told you that we needed to see, instead of you working with four or five clients, which you were doing at that time, is to see could you get one client in your copy business? 

So that gave you the opportunity to scale back and not be working five days a week in the copy business. And you could work two days a week – and you found the client. 

Let me say this, I remember you tried so hard.

Makena: This seemed impossible to me at the time. You want me to scale back from five or six or however many clients – I was working with eight or 10 clients.

To ONE who would pay you enough on retainer to scale back and only have to work X number of days a week.

I was like, “That is not going to happen.”

Basically you laid it out for me and I was like, “Well, that would be great. I can at least see that’s what I would want.” 

And it was so crazy because within a couple of months, one of my clients that I was doing copy and marketing work for – I can’t even remember how the conversation came about. But they needed more work.

And I just said, “Would you want to do a retainer and we could structure it this way?”

I don’t think it covered the full amount that I needed to make.

Gigi: No, it was half of it.

Makena: It was half. I could do it by only working two days a week. And that gave me enough of a challenge. I get to earn this other part through coaching or I can fill it in if I need to here or there with some other copy. 

That gave me enough of a challenge, while still taking care of my bases. I didn’t feel that Financial fear and that security fear. 

So that’s what I did.

Gigi: Another part of it I said, “What was your bare minimum?” And it was the number that you got.  Then I said, “Okay, let’s create a project around coaching. You have to go for that.”

That will then end up making up whatever comes in, you can put it toward your salary. And that’s the way we did that. 

Makena: Yeah. We talk about the project, instead of really thinking about it as a whole business. You told me to create a project – create one coaching package, go out there and start offering it to people.

So that’s what I did. I created my “Momentum and Flow Program.”

It was my very first business coaching program. Integrating the business and marketing experience I had at that time and with more of the alignment and the aliveness. How do you build something that really fits you? 

And so working with women, I was terrified. But I went out there and started to move in that direction. 

I think that’s something to talk about with aliveness. Sometimes, people hear “follow your aliveness” and they think it’s always going to be amazing. It’s always going to feel good.

The truth is in those early days, I was scared out of my mind. I was stressed. I do not see how this is going to work. There was a while of that before more energy started to kick in. 

And I started to get confidence as I began to really actually get clients and work with them and the coaching.

So, what’s the distinction there? I’m curious.

Because I was moving in a direction that was my aliveness, but the day to day was not necessarily that. 

Gigi: What’s your question? 

Makena: What is that distinction there for people? 

Because they hear “follow your aliveness” and they think, “Oh, do the things that bring me alive and it should feel good. I should feel alive all the time.”

Gigi: I think the distinction is you were extremely relieved to be out from behind the computer. You had moments where you saw it, you felt it and you knew you were on the right track. And your vitality would increase. 

Of course then you would back up because it was challenging. But you have the sense and feeling you’re going in the right direction.

It’s the same for me when I followed my life – as I had so many challenges when I decided to quit my job. I had no money. But there was still something in me that kept going for it because I felt and knew somewhere deep inside that I was on the right track. 

Makena: I wanted to make that distinction because it is about seeing these clues and starting to move in that direction. But the day to day isn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows.

It’s because it’s out of your comfort zone a lot of the time, it’s going to challenge you. It’s going to stretch you. 

But the main thing is that you are moving in a direction where you have that deep down feeling, “I’m on the right track. I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing.” That’s what kept me going.

And then you, really helping me with the transition plan. Because  unlike you, having more risk tolerance, I needed that step by step, or I would have not stuck with it. 

Gigi: I think just supporting you along the way. Because you would have doubts and questioning. And just keeping you focused there.

I think for you too, it was such a relief. I see this with people.

When you were doing your copy two days a week and you could work on the other parts of the business in your project that was completely new. I had watched you for three or four years wanting to be out of copy and you can never figure it out. It was always a double bind constantly. Because you said, “There’s no way I can work less and do what I need to do here.”

Makena: It was such a relief. I did start to have changes. The anxiety became less, not immediately, but it became less and less as time went on. That told me something right away. I started to feel this kind of relief even though I was scared.

I think an interesting point is that, even though I was scared, I felt more like myself. Really, truly. 

So the fear became less important. I can handle this fear if it means I get to feel this other feeling – which is I’m in alignment, I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing. 

We’ll go more into fears and self doubts and all of that and other episodes. But you helped me so much with that.

It was really also hugely having you there, having a mentor, having a coach to support me.

I think you saw something in me, you believed in me. And that was huge to get that reflection when I didn’t believe in myself. And then the other side of it was that you pushed me, you sometimes just said, “You’ve just got to do it.”

And I trusted you enough to go, “Okay, I’m going to do it. Even though this seems crazy. Even though I don’t think it’s going to work,”

I would have quit a thousand times if not for that. Because I was more risk averse.

So that was really how my journey began – with this clarity of a direction that brought me alive, something that I had always been curious about. And then really making that step by step transition plan. 

I think for people listening, you may not need a whole life change or a whole career change.  But if you do happen to be one of those people that’s thinking there’s a career change that you’re wanting to make. Then some of you need to keep your day job. Like we often talk about. 

Maybe you do a part time job or something, because you need that. Most people need that structure and stability. 

And it’s only occasionally some people or some circumstances where somebody can just go fully out and quit their job and really go for something.

I think that’s important to say. A lot of times the changes are not necessarily around career either. 

Gigi: As we’re talking about the woman you’re meant to be, what we saw when we interviewed those women is, their aliveness and following that – It’s the way they’ve grown, not only their careers, but they’ve grown their families and their relationships. And that’s really been the key factor. 

So for them, stepping into the life that they really feel is the life they’re meant to be living. And that is constantly evolving. Because we change as people and we grow.

But one little skill is so simple and so extremely powerful.

Makena: I remember one of the stories where the woman really saw, when you first started working with her. She had a very successful career and she really saw that family was her top value. That she maybe wasn’t fully living in alignment with that at that time.

She didn’t change her career, but she went into business more with her husband and started creating other projects. She developed beyond what she had been doing. Developed out more in the direction that felt that was where her aliveness really was at that time.

So just to give an example. Because we both stepped into coaching, but that was the first little piece. We continue to follow our aliveness into different aspects that open up different parts of the life we’re meant to live.

But with her, she really saw that family was where her energy was and her values were. And she wanted to really create a life that was aligned around that.

And she’s done that over many many years.

Gigi: She had a very successful business – tax consulting business. She asked me during the first workshop she ever did with me. I really think about going to work with my husband and these projects that he’s doing and growing.

And so we worked on that, she sold her tax consulting business. She went into business with her husband. When she did my work with me, she saw that she really wanted to spend more time with their kids in a quality way. 

So they put together these trips they would do every year. They did all this while the kids were growing up. They partnered in their business and now there are multiple businesses – serial entrepreneurs and hugely successful.

But within the context of family being first. It’s amazing. 

Makena: There’s so many ways that this can emerge for you.

And we want to share a little practice you could start to do. To begin to see what it is that brings you alive? What is your aliveness? 

Because we might think we know what we’re passionate about and you might even know some things. But following your aliveness is a little bit different from the way we want to talk about it.

So Gigi, what’s a way that people can start to track this or pay attention to this for themselves? Start to gather these clues. 

Gigi: All you need to do is take a piece of paper and begin to write down when your vitality is increasing or when it’s decreasing. 

So think of it like this with aliveness, at every moment, your vitality is either increasing or decreasing.

When it’s increasing – is when you’re in more of alignment. So you start charting that. You can chart when I felt like this, I felt so inspired. I was reading this article. I felt very excited. Write that down. 

And start to make these distinctions once you add a bunch of things on there. And do more of the things that bring you alive.

And with the things that drain your energy – we can talk about those later. 

Makena: So, starting to pay attention moment by moment, day by day, will be huge in terms of that awareness and then bringing more in or following more of those clues of what brings you alive.

And then just remembering that this is a process and it’s an evolution that is really a lifetime.

It’s not going to necessarily all change overnight.

But as you start to move more and more in that direction – it’s maybe like a percentage thing. Because back then, I felt alive and inspired and in my energy, whatever percentage that was – 30 or 20% of the time. And now that number is 80% of the time.

Of course, there’s still going to be days, challenges, or there’s still things. But over time, through these different things that we’re sharing with you in the podcast, and that we do in our work, you will start to see the overall percentage of that change.

That’s a little bit of how that works. Thank you all. 

Anything else do you want to share, Gigi?

Gigi: Thank you so much for listening.

Just take that baby step after you collect some of the things that bring you alive. 

Take one and start taking action on it – incorporate it more into your life. Because that’s where you begin to make the distinctions.

When you incorporate something in your life that you feel more alive with and you do it for a little while – it also makes your perspective shift. And you start to see life differently. 

You start to see more of what you want and how you want to grow. 

Makena: Absolutely. Thank you all. We’ll see you in the next episode.