The Worthy Woman’s Guide to Impeccable Self-Care

Makena: Hello everyone, Makena here, and I am back with a solo episode today talking about something I love to call impeccable self-care. 

Impeccable self-care. 

So there’s a lot of talk about self-care these days, but we’re going to go a few levels deeper today. And the truth is, even though we talk about self-care, not everyone is practicing what they preach here.

It can be difficult to do when you have a busy life. This is something that I’ve gone on a big journey with in my own life, which I’ll share, and it’s a huge value of mine—self-care. 

So when we thought about what are some things that I could really share with you, Gigi said, “I think you should talk about self-care.”

Now, I do want to say that the two biggest obstacles that I see—and we see—to practicing impeccable self-care are time and money. I mean, that’s so true of so many things, right? Those are the obstacles. 

So you may be in the “more” category where, “I just don’t have the time,” or you may be in the category of, “I’d love to, but that’s a lot of money,” or maybe some combination of the two. 

I’ll share some tips along the way today that can help with both, especially time, which is what many of our clients struggle with.

They may have a little more financial freedom—of course, they’re always looking to continue to grow—but often they have a lot of that dialed in to some degree. But time is really the resource that is more challenging for them. 

So we’re going to look at: how can you do this, right? How can you practice more self-care in your life? And why is that even important? We think about getting our nails done or whatever, and it’s like—yeah, is it really that important?

So we’ll talk about why. But before we get into the how-to, I want to touch on something, which is just this idea of making yourself a priority—and making yourself, in many ways, the top priority. I’ve had quite a journey with this over my lifetime.

Going all the way back to childhood, I was a very low-maintenance kid, I would say. I didn’t go to school; I was homeschooled K through 12. So I didn’t learn a lot about hair and makeup or fancy beauty products, and we didn’t have the internet much back then—it was just starting. 

So I wasn’t around other kids who were doing all of that. And in many ways, I still feel like I’m catching up in these departments. But I was pretty low maintenance. Like, that just wasn’t a big thing. And clothes and fashion didn’t matter all that much to me.

Once I got into young adulthood and I went to university, that’s when iPhones just started. I’m going to date myself here, but that’s when iPhones were just starting—right about the time that I got into university. So we were starting to have more of the internet and all that, but it still wasn’t what it is today. 

At that point, my biggest hurdle to starting to practice more self-care was money—financial—because I put myself through school. I had tons of student loans.

Thankfully, right when you’re in university, if you can get a student loan and you go to a residential school like I did, then everything was covered by that student loan—my food, my housing. 

So really, I worked multiple jobs while I was in school. I did that to just have a little spending money, to be able to buy some clothes and things like that.

I was at a very different stage in my life at that point, and everybody else, it felt like, at school was being put through school by their families and had spending money and everything else. 

So I was in a very different position. I did not have a lot of extra. That was really formative for me at that time. I couldn’t do massages or chiropractic, or get my hair and nails done, or take a lot of supplements.

Now, looking back, when we’re talking about money as a constraint, I do see that I definitely could have taken better care of myself, right? There are ways to do it on a budget. But I just didn’t prioritize it at the time. First of all, I didn’t really know how. And then for a long time, I was just kind of at the bottom of my own priority list.

So my journey around this wasn’t just being low maintenance. And again, I’ll just mention what I’ve said in multiple podcasts lately, which is: I’m constantly out of breath these days being pregnant. So if you hear me gasping for breath, that’s why.

It’s not just that I was low maintenance. When I was younger, I just really felt like everything else was a higher priority than taking care of myself. I put school first and I got straight A’s. I worked really hard at my jobs and wanted to perform well there. I wanted to have a social life, so I would go out and spend time with my friends.

Thinking about me and taking care of my body and the way I looked and the way I felt—those were not things that were entering into my brain at that time. 

Even though I made it through those years, it took a toll on me and it took a toll on my body. By the time I got out of school, I didn’t put on the freshman 15 like most people—I put on the senior 15 because I was just under so much stress at that time.

I was drinking too much. I was not taking care of myself.

Where all of this really started to change—or when all of this really started to change—was when I moved to California after university in my mid-twenties. I started my own business about six months later. I don’t know what it was. 

Even before I started that business, I was working in a job for a few months, and something about California just made me want to take better care of myself.

I have this visual in my mind of working in that first job before I started my business. 

I was living in San Clemente, just a little north of San Diego, in this house that was up on this hill—maybe five or ten minutes from the beach. I would go into work every day at this job, and the weather was beautiful here. I started eating more simply, but healthfully—cooking my own food again. I would go for walks in the hills every day.

I would listen to TED Talks, I remember, and I would walk through these very big hills and get up to the top and see the sunset, and then I would walk back down. That was sort of my first baby step in the direction of starting to care for myself—eating more healthfully and moving my body.

I was able to lose the senior 15 pretty easily. I was still working really hard and not really taking care of myself in that way in terms of rest and breaks and things like that. 

But something shifted where I did start to prioritize myself a little bit more.

As I continued forward and I started that first business, I was working a lot at some points—I would say 60+ hours a week in that business that I started—but I started to make more money too. This is where I moved down to San Diego, and I started to see a chiropractor regularly. Some of you know that I have some conditions that make it where I really need regular body care to just be out of pain and function normally.

So I was able to start seeing a chiropractor regularly. These were the first kind of steps. Then I eventually hired a personal trainer for a little while. 

I hired somebody to teach me yoga. I had done yoga when I was in my teens, but then, because of some of my neck and back stuff, I couldn’t continue without hurting myself. So I finally hired somebody to teach me how to do it in a way that I could do it—and it was great. 

I started getting my hair done regularly and so on from there.

This was my late 20s—starting to have more money at the time. Not much time, but more money to take care of myself and starting to really just prioritize it more.

So one thing I’ll say about self-care is: you have to see what you value. It’s not going to be the same for everyone. 

You might not care at all about having your hair dyed or wearing makeup, but maybe you love clothes and fashion. Or maybe health is super important to you.

If that’s the case, you want to maybe write down—or think about it right now as you’re listening to this podcast episode—jot it down: what are those values?

One way you can look at your values is—people say—look at your bank account or your credit cards and look at your calendar. Where are you putting your time, and where are you putting your money? That tells you, a lot of the time, what you value.

But sometimes we’re not really fully spending our time and our money in alignment with our values. So it’s good to think about: what is most important to me? Where would I like to be investing my time and my money?

So think about that for a moment.

One of my top values is health—very much at the top of my list. I’m going to share some ways that I live out that value and some little tips in there as well for you. 

But whatever your values are, once you see what those are, then you have to decide that you are worth it—that you are the most important person in the world.

You have this one body that’s going to carry you through this entire life. The question, I think, is: how are you going to care for her or him? How are you going to care for this vessel? And not just for your body, but also for your heart and your soul.

How are you going to care for yourself?

That’s really, to me, what self-care is about. 

It’s not just getting a mani-pedi. It’s how do you care for your mind, your body, your spirit?

If you’re in the habit of self-sacrifice and you put everyone and everything ahead of yourself—whether that’s your career or your family or your partner or all of the above—this really has to stop. 

Or at least you need to start to make some baby steps in a different direction.

Now, I’m saying “have to” and “need to,” and these are very much absolutes. I don’t believe that I’m the person who has all the answers whatsoever. You have to see for yourself—is that something you want to continue to do, or are you ready to start to make a change?

Because if you think about it this way: if you burn out or if you break down, then they won’t have you to support them anyway. And sometimes people have to wait for it to get to this point. But you don’t have to. You can make a change before you get to that point.

Another way to think about this—if you are a parent—is: what’s the example you’re setting for your kids? It’s great to show up for them and try to be Super Mom, but what are they going to model as they get older?

What are they going to follow in the footsteps of? What they saw you do?

Are you modeling what you want them to do in terms of caring for yourself and prioritizing yourself?

I’m guessing you would love for your kids to grow up and to do that. And if that’s the case, they will not do what you say—they will do what you do.

A lot of times, that’s a big motivation for people to make a change in this.

I’m a huge stand for this. 

Worthiness is one of my favorite topics. It’s one of the things that is most important to me. I believe we are inherently worthy of caring for ourselves, of living great lives, of charging rates that are in alignment with that, of just having richness in all the parts of our lives.

And this starts—if you want, let’s say, a raise in your job or you want people to pay you more money—it’s important to look and see: are you valuing yourself first?

Because if you’re not—if you’re self-sacrificing all the time—then energetically, it’s not going to be a match for other people to value you.

You may not have made that connection before—that “My gosh, I want other people to value me more,” or “I’m trying to set boundaries in my life,” let’s use that as an example, “but it just doesn’t seem to be working.”

And it’s like, well, do you have boundaries and standards for yourself and how you care for yourself? Or are you breaking your word to yourself left and right and always putting yourself last, and then expecting other people to somehow do something different?

I just feel like I want explosion sounds—just like mind blown.

And for some of you, you may have thought about this, but for many of you, you haven’t. So just take a deep breath there. This is a lot.

This is where it begins. It begins with your own inner worthiness and how you treat yourself.

So we’re going a long way from just getting a mani-pedi or taking a bath here, right? We’re talking about prioritizing you, about putting yourself first, and about knowing that when you do that, you can show up more for others.

Now, of course, there is a spectrum here. I’m not saying everything needs to be about you all the time, always first. There are times where we’ve got to set our own needs aside—or we choose to—and show up for other people. 

That’s okay, if you choose that consciously and you’re not a victim about it.

But doing that continuously over time, and over and over again—not a healthy thing.

So we’re going to go a little more practical here, take it out of these big perspectives. But if you need to pause this episode and do a little journaling on what I just talked about, then do that. Really give yourself that time and space to think about this.

Where am I prioritizing myself—or not prioritizing myself?

How do I put myself last?

Where am I expecting or asking other people to show up for me, or to value me, or to pay me more—or whatever it might be—when I’m not fully doing that with myself?

These are big, big things to look at. 

And if there’s someone in your life that you’re thinking of as you’re listening to this episode and you’re going, “Oh my gosh, they need to hear this,” then take a moment and share it with them. Just take two seconds, pull out your phone, send them a text. 

There’s always a little share link—whichever platform you’re listening on, whether you’re on Spotify, or Apple, or YouTube—and share this link with them so that they too can do some of the self-reflecting on really putting themselves first.

So now, as we look at what are your values—my top values, I would say, in terms of really some of my top values in general, but also in terms of caring for myself—number one is health and feeling good. I would kind of put those in the same category: the way I feel physically, emotionally, energetically—and my health is a part of that. That would be number one for me.

And then I do also value beauty, but I like a mix within beauty. I would say a mix of taking care of myself and being able to get glammed up when I want to, but I also like to be able to keep things really simple and easy. So for me, beauty doesn’t mean just “every day.”

You kind of have to define—what do these values mean to you?

For me, it’s not every day that I am dolled up or whatever. I love having my days where I wear no makeup or I’m in pajamas all day. That’s one of the things I love about working from home.

And then I have my days where I do get a little more, let’s say, dolled up—like when I’m recording the podcast a lot of the time, or if I have certain calls. So I really value this mix of ease and accessibility—same thing in my clothing and fashion—and then also being able to go, like, “Wow,” and really have fun with it and self-express.

These are things that have developed over time. But I would say again: health and feeling good are my number one.

So think about what is your number one—your number one value—in this area.

Now, once you know what that is and you’ve kind of defined what that means to you, then you can go, “Okay, how do I live in alignment with that? How do I organize my self-care in alignment with those values?”

So I’m going to give you examples from me—and maybe some tips along the way as well if some of these are important to you.

Number one is sleep. I could do a whole episode on sleep—and maybe I will at some point. I actually created a guide for this a couple of years ago where I put all my favorite sleep hacks and products in it because I got asked this so many times—by our clients or by friends—because I have such a… not even a ritual, but I just have a lot of things I do to optimize my sleep.

If you’re curious about that, you can get the little free guide. It’s at wayofthemuse.com/sleep. Just a free PDF you can download. It has everything I use and love that really helps me optimize my sleep.

Sleep is so pivotal. In fact, I think I have the guide up here because I was looking at it before this episode, and I say in the introduction:

“Good sleep cuts your risk of cancer in half. It decreases your chance of Alzheimer’s. It regulates blood sugar and weight. It boosts your mood, enhances your thinking, and so much more.”

There is so much research on sleep.

In my opinion, it’s really the number one thing you can do for your overall health and well-being. It’s always been important to me. I used to sleep super deeply as a kid, but as an adult, I’ve had to learn ways to allow me to sleep—even when I’m stressed, or I have a lot going on, or my partner’s up in the middle of the night, or whatever it is.

I’m about to have babies, so it’s going to be a whole new world with sleep for a while. So I’ll have different kinds of tips to share once I go through that journey myself.

But even though sleep feels like it takes more time—those of you for whom time is the main hesitation here—it does actually save you time in the long run.

It’s funny, I was just listening to a podcast—Mel Robbins’ podcast—and she had this one on the habits of billionaires. She said one of the habits of billionaires is great sleep. I think it was—gosh, I’m not a sports person, so I hope I’m naming this person right—I think it was Kobe Bryant. Hopefully, I’m naming the right person.

But she had this clip of him, or a couple of clips, of him talking about how he gets like 10 hours of sleep a night, especially during busy game seasons. And not only is he an incredible—oh my gosh, I think it’s basketball player—you guys, I’m really showing my level of sports knowledge here—not only is he incredible at that, but he’s a billionaire. 

He has so many businesses and has been super successful, and he credits sleep as the number one thing that supported him with that.

So sleeping more—yes, it takes time—but you are so much more effective in the hours that you are awake if you get good-quality sleep.

That’s the time piece.

And then on the money piece: it’s free to sleep, right? Or maybe you invest some amount in some items that can help improve your sleep. But really, it’s not a huge—I’d say the value for the money you might invest is astronomical.

So I’m not going to go much deeper into that right now, but that is one of my top priorities and a way that I live in alignment with my values of health and feeling good—I prioritize sleep.

Another one is food. For me, eating healthy—that started way back. I mean, I grew up actually with this, which I’m really grateful for as a value. But also, once I moved out to California, like I said, and I started eating healthy again, I really value eating organic.

There’s something I do here to save time: I batch cook a lot. This actually saves time and money. But I batch cook—so I make a lot of something at a time and I eat that throughout the week, or I make a lot of something and then I freeze it. 

I just did this yesterday. I made healthy meatballs and then I had some of it that I put out for the week and then the rest I froze so that another week—when I don’t feel like cooking or when I want more variety in my meals—I can just pull it out and thaw it and reheat it.

So that’s a big tip that I have for you. This can save you a lot of time and it can also save you a lot of money versus eating out a lot.

Another way to save time if you don’t want to cook is you could do a meal delivery service, or you can hire somebody to cook your meals. I’ve done this at different parts of my journey—I’ve hired someone to come in and do batch cooking for me a few hours a week. They go get the groceries, they plan a menu, and then they make lunches and dinners and snacks and whatever. So that’s something you can also do.

So sleep, food—those are a couple that are really important to me.

Supplements is another big one.

So I work with a naturopath. I had many years where I worked with different health coaches or did different things to try to optimize my health or heal certain things that were going on, but it always kind of felt like stabbing in the dark.

But when I really started getting certain levels tested and found a naturopath that I really love—that’s when my health really turned around for the better.

So we tested my hair to find out what minerals and nutrient levels were there. Then we tested my saliva to find out my hormone levels. We tested my blood to find out other levels. And then according to all of that, she came up with a plan of supplementation.

Of course, eating healthy and exercise and all that is the most important thing, but then there were certain things that we found that we were like, “Okay, we need to get these levels in alignment,” or we knew that maybe my adrenals needed some support on an ongoing basis, or whatever that might be.

At that time when I did the testing, I was having mood swings all the time—this was many years ago. Mood swings, I was very emotional, crying a lot and just having a hard time regulating myself, and my digestion was really off.

We healed, I would say, 70% to 80% of that—or more—just with food and supplements.

So for me, this is a big financial investment on a regular basis because I take a lot of supplements. But it is so worth it. It has really turned my health around. And I don’t just keep going that way—I retest every couple of years to make sure, “Okay, do I still need these supplements? Where am I?”

To save time in this arena—if that’s something that’s important to you—I buy little reusable Ziploc kind of bags. They’re much smaller. They’re like two inches by two inches—you can buy them on Amazon. So I reuse these little bags, and I pre-portion all of my supplements out for two to four weeks at a time.

I sit down while I’m watching a show or something and put all of them out. I make 14 or 20 piles of supplements and pre-portion them out. Because if I have to sit there every day and open all those bottles, I’m just not going to do it. But if I have a little baggie that I can grab and just take those supplements, then even when I travel or I’m on the road, it’s really easy to keep going.

There are pill boxes too, but honestly, I take too many supplements for that—you guys would be astonished. But hey, it works for me, and it’s a value of mine. This may or may not be one for you, but if it is, that’s a little tip to make it easier.

Alright, movement—let’s talk a little bit about this one.

Even though health is a big value of mine, there were many years where I did not prioritize movement. And it’s really just in the last couple of years that it’s become a higher priority for me again. That was a choice. I consciously said, “Okay, I’m ready to start to take better care of myself in this way. I’m doing it in all these other ways, but I’m just not moving my body enough.”

For me, the doorway into that was—at first—it was Pilates. And then eventually, I found barre. B-A-R-R-E classes. And they were so hard at first! I remember going to my first barre class and I was like, “This is so hard. They should make this easier for beginners.” I had this whole mental dialogue going on, and I was like, “I’m not going to go back.” And then I was like, “You know what? Maybe I just need to get stronger.” And that thought kept me going.

And after a while, I fell in love with it because I got so strong. So barre classes are usually my main thing. And then I love to walk. Those are typically what I do.

Right now, being pregnant, it’s more just walking. I’ve stopped barre—some people do it all through their pregnancy, but it didn’t feel right for me. And I do kind of easy at-home workouts.

Movement too can be free or very inexpensive. There are ways you can do it that are very expensive—hiring personal trainers and things like that—or if you need to do it inexpensively, you can. And it’s a huge piece of caring for your body—self-care.

So find the movement that really works for you. Try different things out. Or just make it a goal to move your body in some way for 30 minutes every day.

Okay, another fun one is baths. Gigi would love this one because I inherited my love of baths from my mother. And this is one of my favorite daily rituals. I take a bath every day—and I love it.

I will literally call ahead to hotels we’re staying in and try to get a room with a bathtub. It is free or relatively inexpensive to take a bath, and it’s just so calming to me. I love being in the water. It’s one of my rituals—usually at the end of the day—to unwind. So this is, for me, a big part of my self-care.

Getting into a little bit more of the enjoyment side, right? This isn’t so much health and wellness, but it is feeling good. Baths are definitely about feeling good for me. And I can also do other beauty things in the bath, which sometimes I do.

Now, if we take it to more beauty, then we could talk about things like getting your hair done or getting your nails done or eyebrows or whatever is important to you.

For me, the things that I’ve really landed on are: I love to get my hair dyed every three months or so, and I love to get pedicures every three weeks or so. Those are kind of my staple, standard things.

I’ve had times in my life where I’ve done a lot more—where I’ve done those fun fake lashes. Now I know how to put on the strips, so if you ever see me with fake lashes, that’s what they are. I’m pretty good at it, so most of the time people can’t tell that they’re strips.

I love that because I can wear them on the weekend or when I want to glam up—but not all the time—and I don’t have to go sit in these long appointments. Because again, remember, I like the low-maintenance also.

So I do eyelash strips. I get my hair dyed every three months. I have my pedicures. I’ve had times where I’ve done the fancy nails, but right now that’s not been a huge priority for me.

So I’m always looking at: is this a value of mine right now? Do I want to be a little more low-maintenance? Do I want to be a little more glammed up? And that’s one thing you can think about—versus just always doing the thing to do the thing.

When it comes to these types of sessions—let’s say getting your hair done, your nails done, or some of the other things I’m about to talk about—I am going to share some ways to be more effective and efficient to make sure that you get these things into your calendar. I’ll talk about that in a few minutes.

So really look out for you in each of these categories I’m sharing. What is important to you?

Is sleep important to you, and how could you prioritize that more?

Is food important to you?

Supplements? Movement? Baths or showers or whatever it is for you?

Beauty?

What is important to you in this category—and what’s not?

Bodywork I would say is the next category for me. So this is massage, chiropractic, or whatever kinds of bodywork you get.

This one is big for me because, again, of some of those conditions—let’s call them—that I have. I have pretty much settled into a cadence of—it was every other week before getting pregnant—that I would do a session with a bodyworker of some kind.

By that, I mean bodyworker not as in a spa massage, but more along the lines of almost like physical therapy or myofascial work. Those kinds of things that really support my physical body in being aligned and out of pain.

This is a big one for me. Being pregnant, I go at least once a week, actually, because I need a little bit more tune-ups. So this is a huge value of mine and it’s somewhere I invest a lot of time and a lot of money—but it makes an enormous shift in the quality of my life and an enormous impact. So that’s something that’s worth it to me.

Then, mental and spiritual health is another category.

This could be things like going to church, if that’s something you do or that’s important to you. It could be going to a therapist or seeing an energy healer you love—so your mental and spiritual health, whatever is right for you in this category. I have a lot of different things that I do, and all of these really are priorities to me.

Now, this is not a comprehensive list. You might think of other areas that are important to you.

I do want to share a few other things that you can do that are free or inexpensive:

One is just getting dressed for your day. Do you ever do that and just feel so much better? Like, we used to all go into the office every day or go into a job every day or go to school every day—and so there’s this ritual of getting ready, putting on your clothes, maybe putting on some makeup if that’s something that’s important to you, and it just makes you feel so much better.

That’s something you can do that does not take a lot of time or money, but it can really impact the way you feel.

Another thing that I wish I could tell my younger self when she was in a very different financial position is: do some face masks or do a spa night at home. It can cost very little. Get together with some girlfriends and do something fun there.

So that’s something you can do to care for yourself. Or even just lighting candles in your house, creating a nice environment, putting on music—these are all different ways that you can create more moments of self-care.

Those are money-saving tips. 

Here are some time-saving tips—and this is my big one. This is like the big takeaway from this episode. So get ready.

Schedule all of your appointments three to six months out.

Schedule all of your appointments three to six months out.

This is the one I tell all of our clients, and it is a game-changer for them. I say, “You’re busy. You’ve got a lot going on. You want to get massages every three weeks? Schedule the next three to six months of massages. You want to get your hair done every three months? Get at least one or two of those on the calendar. Your nails? Do that. Your bodywork? Whatever it is—put it on the calendar so you don’t have to think about it.”

Then, when you’re getting kind of close to the end of those appointments—a month out or whatever—book another couple of months of appointments.

This is, above and beyond everything else, how I have managed to really prioritize and keep my word with myself around taking care of myself at an impeccable level.

It just makes everything easier. It’s easier to get appointments further out—you’re not trying to fit in around somebody else’s schedule because they have more availability. You can put it where it really works for you and your week.

So that is like—if you take one thing away from this episode—I hope that you start scheduling your appointments three to six months out.

When you put it on the calendar, then you don’t have to think about it. You just show up to your appointment with yourself, just like you would show up to any other meeting.

Another tip I shared time-saving-wise was food prep or freezer meals or hiring help. Those are some different things that you can do to save time and money and really step into a new level of impeccable self-care.

So I hope you’ve taken something away from this episode. 

And other than the scheduling three to six months out, the other big one is just:

How are you valuing yourself?

What is the example you’re setting for others?

Are you asking others to really value you when you’re not valuing yourself?

Are you ready to make a change in that and really stand in your worthiness and say,

“I am worthy of caring for myself, and this is important to me. And within the time and the money that I can invest in this, I am going to absolutely do that”?

Or maybe it even creates the motivation for you to create more time or more money when you listen to this episode.

This was once a dream—to be able to take care of myself the way that I do today. I literally remember writing it on lists of my future dreams, where I would say, “I would love to be able to get a massage a couple of times a month,” or, “get my hair done,” or “do this” or “do that.”

And that’s really my reality these days.

And I know it can get even better. I’m sure if you talk to me in a few years, there will be even a new level of impeccable self-care—although going into motherhood, I get to really discover how to do this.

I will say that I see examples of people who do this really well, and who continue to prioritize themselves. I’m consciously walking into motherhood going, “Okay, I know things are going to change. I’m not going to get as much sleep, and time is going to be different, but I’m also really committed to not buying into the belief that as a mother, you have to put yourself last.”

And so I’m really clear that, okay, I get to see how to continue to prioritize myself. If that’s hiring a sitter to come in sometimes so that I can go do my bodywork appointments, or whatever that is—it’s a value of mine.

So I’ll keep you posted. I know it’s easier said than done. But again, just don’t buy into the societal idea that you come last. You really can, and are, worthy of impeccable self-care.

So—lots of love.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you.

See you next time. Bye-bye.