Building Lasting Legacies: From Power Couples to Family Businesses

Gigi: Hello, everyone.

Makena: Hello.

Gigi: Hi there.

Makena: You just got back from an amazing retreat. Tell us all about it.

Gigi: So it was the Secret of Power Couples, and it was in Tulum. It was great. Gosh, it was long. I think one of the longest. I think we were there eight days, nine nights. We got a lot of work done, a lot of fun. And yeah, I think the couples went out happy. That’s what matters, right?

Makena: Absolutely. It was beautiful. You kept FaceTiming me from the beach.

Gigi: Yeah. There was this wind that came over because we had a villa right on the ocean and it just was nonstop the whole time we were there. And I love wind.

Makena: I love it.

Gigi: Yeah. But by the eighth day, I was—

Makena: Like, “No more.”

Gigi: A little break from wind. Yeah.

Makena: Yeah. Well, we were just talking about some of the distinctions, I think, that come up in these retreats when you’re working with couples, and you’ve worked with a lot of couples who have family businesses, right? And family legacies in some way.

Gigi: I work with a lot of couples who are in business together, yeah. Some of these couples have worked with me for 15, 16 years, and so now, of course, their families are coming into their business. 

So there’s first the dynamic of just the couple and how they are together when they have a lot of businesses together. 

And it’s a challenging thing when you have your business, your relationship, your family, and it’s all mixed together, right?

Makena: Yeah, absolutely. We have a family business, so we know exactly a different kind of relationship, their daughter. 

We were just talking about basically some of the distinctions that you teach that really are so important for people who are in relationships together. We’re talking more romantic relationships right now, but this could also be mother-daughter or whatever that relationship is—the importance of that. 

And then, just really, if they do get the rest of the family involved at some point or other family members, this is the foundation of everything: how do you create lasting relationships and family businesses and legacies there. So what do you want to share about that? What are some of the key distinctions here?

Gigi: Well, first of all, going back to just in terms of couples who work together, that’s the first. Especially if you want to build a legacy and maybe have your children come in or extend that out to other parts of your family, it’s so important for that dynamic, for there to be an understanding. 

We’ve talked about before that when we walk into our business, we go pro, and that takes a lot of discipline. It’s from being personal to being professional because if you don’t, it can cause so many problems. 

I learned early on in my development when I would assist workshops at the minimum, I would walk through the door, I would become a professional.

So no matter what was going on in my life personally, I would set that aside, and I’d walk in and I would absolutely be professional. So it’s basically that skill, and really working with couples to learn how to do that with each other when they are working together in a business, because it just makes a huge difference. 

Conflict—if there’s conflict in the business, or challenges in the business, and they come in with their personal relationship, it multiplies everything.

Makena: Yeah. And so for our listeners, if you’re not in a family business right now or a couple that’s in business together, some of our listeners want this.

I often hear this from people—that they’d love to work with their mom, or they’d love to work with their partner, or have considered that.

So for some of you, this is kind of research for the future, and you can definitely take this into anywhere in your life.

But for those of you who are maybe in business with your partner in some way, or your kids, or your parents, or something like that, this is really, really powerful. It seems so simple, but it makes such a difference.

So how would someone, I guess, first of all, identify if they need to be doing more of this? Is it just that there are breakdowns happening—

Gigi: Or I think breakdowns, and you’re taking things personally in business, or you’re listening to your partner talk and you’re going, “They don’t do that with me.”

So you have this editor going also.

Basically, your view is in there from maybe if you’re outside of the business, you’re having some challenges where you take that view into the business. The way you start to see that is, do you two have a push and pull when you’re in business together? 

Because the truth is, it should be a super clean, clean, clean, clean energy when you are in your business together. When you walk out the door, if you want to have a fight or have something personal, then that’s… you can do that.

But setting that tone of professionalism sets the tone for the spirit of the business, and especially couples that are in business together. Everybody’s watching them, they’re checking them out. It’s like Mommy and Daddy, it’s like seeing Mommy and Daddy.

Makena: So you’re saying all the other employees, if there are other employees, are watching, right?

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: So you really set the tone there. We think, “Oh, nobody else is paying attention,” or “This is just between us,” or something like that. But people—

Gigi: People see it. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Makena: So if you’re having those kinds of breakdowns or you feel like the other person should be doing something, then it’s basically for you to jump in there first, you’re saying, and get professional.

How does somebody do that in practice?

Gigi: The simplest way I know to describe it—because it’s your own inner work—is that you step through the door, and whatever emotional baggage, or whatever fight, or disagreements, you walk in with a fresh perspective and with curiosity, and you walk in there and say, “Hey, we have a job to do here. We’re on each other’s team, and we are going to set the tone here for productivity and collaboration, because that’s just what’s clean in our business.” 

Over the years, because I taught you this years ago when we started working together—

Makena: Yeah.

Gigi: You know, times it would get a little personal and I’d just tell you, “We cannot do that.” And we have a super clean energy with each other, even if we disagree. Sometimes we get a little testy with each other and disagree, but mostly what we do is we theater right in front of people. We make fun of it when it comes up. If anybody’s ever been on—

Makena: A retreat with us, you’ve seen us play this out in front of the room. Gigi will give me a hard time about something, or I’ll give her a hard time about something, and we do our little fake bickering. It’s fun.

Gigi: So theatering is a great thing. Our retreats are not like if you’re going to your business, your accounting business every day. 

But I do believe this element of just going in and being pro, but also a little playful, a little sense of humor, not taking it so seriously.

Makena: Yeah, that’s a good point. How can you bring humor into that dynamic as well? It’s important for the longevity.

For a lot of people we work with, they might be in business with their partner, and often you hear they want their kids to be involved in their businesses someday.

If you want that to be appealing to your children, it’s so important that you apply these principles. Because otherwise the kids see—even if they’re grown, especially if they’re grown—they see the energetic dynamic there. They see everything, even if you think they don’t. They’re watching, and it’s not going to be appealing to them if there’s that whole push, pull, and conflict. 

That’s not going to be nearly as interesting as if you are pro with each other, playful, have that energy, and are having a great time and dynamic. It’s much more likely that at some point they are going to come around to, “Maybe that is something I’d like to do, I’d be interested in.”

Gigi: Yeah. Another distinction there, when we go back to even with employees and when couples are in a business together, it’s a little bit like mommy, daddy.

The same thing if you bring your children in, and people play each other against you—one will side with a parent and not the other, or they will make fun of one and not the other. What happens is people will pull on the different sides, the male or female.

It’s so important there is a sense of alignment, and that is not allowed to happen.

You don’t talk to your children, especially in business, about your partner in a way like, “Oh, see how they always do that?”

People just get careless. What they do is they often take their family dynamic of how they are at home and bring it into the business. That makes sense—most people don’t know how to do anything different than that.

Makena: So you’re talking about alignment between the couple, between the people who are at the core, that you are aligned and that you’re a united front. You talk well about each other, you don’t agree with other people about certain perspectives or views.

That could be employees, that could be family members. I think that’s huge because if there’s even just employees and they a little bit side with one person or like one person better, we’ve had that at times with employees in the past, where they had a certain view of you or a certain view of me, and we had to really go directly in and address that.

That was like, “Hey, that’s got to go out of things for us to be successful here.” There’s truth, of course, to people’s views at times, but it doesn’t matter—it’s got to be pro and it has to be that energy of alignment.

Gigi: Yes, and if people want to bring their children in—think of some of the biggest dynasties, and the most powerful people in the world have created family businesses.

But again, there weren’t really systems set up. They just did their businesses because they were family. There’s a huge amount of, often, this feeling of familiarity with family, which feels good, and if you’re growing something together, it’s powerful.

But people don’t make up any kind of structure, and in the structure, it’s not personal. When there are breakdowns or conflicts, they can really spiral because of the personal aspect. This is where fortunes get destroyed a lot of the time.

So it’s so important to learn. For us, we have systems—often we would do team meetings, we have our “be pro instead of personal.” If that’s not happening, then we bring it up. We’ve set the context so it’s okay to bring it up so it doesn’t feel like you’re being attacked.

Makena: Yeah, and what you’re saying is even, like, if you bring a child or a family member into the business, even to have things like contracts in place—

Gigi: Absolutely.

Makena: And systems in place because people think, “Oh, well, they’re family, we don’t need that.”

But the truth is, the more you can put that clarity, that professionalism into place, the less room there is for breakdowns, which there’s even more on the line when it’s family.

You want to make sure that if things ever don’t work out, or if there is a conflict, there’s a clear path, systems in place for that. And same thing, just that people know their roles and responsibilities, and even if you’re just a couple in relationship, it’s like, what is one person’s role or their wheelhouse versus the other?

So those are other ways, it sounds like, of getting professional and not just treating it like a personal thing.

Gigi: Yeah, and you’re right on. People need to know what their job is. The different areas of the business, and have respect for what the other person’s doing, and just not cross the line there. If there is something that they see, there’s a dialogue that happens.

Ultimately, a lot of times, the person that’s in their area makes the decision.

Makena: Yeah, absolutely.

What about for people who are listening to this, who do want their kids, ideally, to get involved in their family business in some way, maybe now or maybe down the road, and the kids don’t seem like they’re interested at all?

Is there anything apart from going more “pro” here, putting these things in place, being professional with your partner, and having more playfulness, is there anything else you see there?

Gigi: I think it’s fun from a young age, like we did with you guys, allowing you, seeing where you are curious, where you have strengths, and then bringing you in, giving you little jobs.

When they’re younger kids, acknowledging and letting them be part of things often is something that will start to build that stepping stone to interest.

Makena: So let’s take it by different ages.

If people have kids at home, young kids, what can they do to see if they might develop curiosity down the road or foster that curiosity?

Gigi: I think to bring them into the business. Start bringing them in, giving them little jobs, and paying them. Kids always like that when they get paid!

Giving them responsibility, really acknowledging them, making them part of the team. If you’re an administrative team—remember you guys used to do the little receipts, right?

Makena: Yeah.

Gigi: The whole system and everything.

Makena: Filing the receipts. We had to write on them what they were and what card they were on and put them in—that was when everything was paper.

Gigi: Yeah.

Makena: Help in the office, answer phones. I’m pretty sure we did that—or check messages, voicemails.

Gigi: Yeah, did the mail.

Often, children that are younger just love that because it feels like they have some kind of power.

If you set it up where it’s fun, then they’re going to want to do it. And like I said, they’re earning something.

Here’s the mistake people make: it’s really set up as a system.

So, first they come in and do it, then you see if they liked it and say, “Would you like to do that more? I could really use the help.”

If they say yes, then, “Okay, we’re going to do it five hours a month,” or something like that, and commit to that.

Set the time frame, this is when you’re going to do it, and this is just like a job—you have to come in and really do it and be consistent.

What people do is they get lax—they bring them in one time, then don’t do it, so right there it starts to become personal.

Makena: Yeah.

Gigi: And then the parent asks, and the child says, “No, I don’t really want to do it.”

So from the beginning, set it up with structure, but also with structure that doesn’t feel like pressure.

You can even ask them, “I see that you really liked it. Maybe you’re wanting to buy something. So how many hours would you like to work a month? I’d love to have you in there.” That’s one way with younger kids.

Makena: Another thing there, too, is to talk about what you’re doing in your business, some aspects of it. Not everything maybe, but I think some people just keep it very separate from their kids and family, and then later they want them involved somehow.

I think if you just bring some aspects of that into the conversation sometimes—”This and this happened today,” or “we’re working on this project”—they naturally get curious. I think that sets up a different kind of dynamic.

As they get older, into their teens, is there anything different, or would it still be kind of the same thing?

Gigi: It’s kind of the same, but also you’re getting curious about what they really want to do.

If it seems like there’s anything around something connected to your business, again, I think you just go in and start to show them what you’re doing, talk about it. Maybe it depends on the type of business you have.

For us, with the seminars, I would take you guys to the seminars and travel with you, so there was this element of adventure, which was interesting and enticing. Maybe they have a brick-and-mortar business, but they also travel to different places, so you just bring kids along and show them things.

Through your curiosity, tell them stories, how you got into what you did, talk about what’s happening in the world, where the world is moving to, and what kind of things your business is going to do as it evolves.

It’s not trying to get them to do what you do—it’s sharing your business and how it’s going to be growing in the world so they could choose a lot of different things. I often say, I’m not trying to get you to have the same business as I’ve had. I’ve worked with you so we could work together; you could learn from me, so you could create something of your own.

If you had a legacy business, your legacy with me is going out and doing work that—however you decide to do it. It doesn’t have to be seminars, it doesn’t have to be any of that, but taking the information of what you’ve learned in your character development and sharing that in some way in the world.

For other people, it might really be a legacy business that is actually the business—it’s pins, and that business is growing, growing into decades, years of developing.

Makena: It does. What else kind of ties into this is as they get older, maybe you’re still hiring them, but it could be hourly or it could be by project.

You brought me in when I was in my teens to help with writing projects, and that ended up launching me into my first career in copywriting and marketing strategy. I learned a lot of online stuff through basically working with you and doing projects with you.

So, let’s say one of your teens is really into AI. Maybe they want to come in and help you apply more AI in your business. That’s a project you create together—what would the project be, how would that work, how many hours?

You still set up the container that’s very professional.

But it could be around something they’re interested in or have a natural knack for. Or they might just want to go in and be with the people—it just depends on what kind of business you have. But I think that’s a really interesting thing, to maybe hire them in to do something, but to do it more around a project or something they’re interested in.

You can be more creative there.

Gigi: Absolutely. You want to tap their intelligence and see what they see. Like you said, create some kind of project—”What kind of project do you think here?”

Or you can have an issue and say, “Hey, I’m trying to solve this. What would you do?”

Makena: Absolutely. With kids that are grown, say in university or in their early jobs, and parents maybe haven’t done this, what we’re talking about, in terms of getting them involved up to this point, but they are desiring for them to be involved in some way down the road.

Is there anything they can do at that stage to inspire them to want to be a part of things?

Gigi: I think we’ve already talked about the project part, but seeing where their interest or skill set is.

Even if you think about it later on in your career, when you’d been working at many jobs, I went to you and said, “Hey, I’d love for you to help me with the mastermind.”

You had a skill set that you had developed from working in marketing in several companies. I hired you for part-time, you could still keep your job and do everything. In that, we started building our relationship working together, so there was this evolution, and I did it around what was already your strengths. So it was natural for you, and that’s a great way if you can do that.

Makena: Absolutely. If there’s some kind of project they can do on the side, or maybe they’re between jobs and want to try a test period with you—like, “Let’s do three months and see if there’s something here, if we could make that work.”

The other thing, at some point, is just having the conversation to see if they’re curious.

Gigi: Yeah, I think just asking. If you feel a sense or you would love it, just say, “I think about this sometimes, and I really see that there would be a place for you if you’re interested,” and sit with that.

Where people get in trouble is when they say, “You really should come work for me!” It’s like this final thing—no kid wants to hear, “You’re not doing well in your life and so you should come work for me!” 

Right away all the rebelliousness kicks in, “I am doing fine!”

That’s important—ask open-ended questions, use your curiosity, and don’t have an agenda.

Makena: What if they say they’re not interested? For most parents, that’s going to be upsetting if they had that in the back—

Gigi: The best thing in the world is to say an open-ended thing: “If you ever change your mind, I’d love to talk with you about it.”

Again, there’s no trying to influence, and as a parent, you have no idea down the road.

Makena: So much changes, and even adult kids change. Especially in those earlier decades of our lives, we change a lot.

We think at a very young age that we know who we are and what we want. That’s part of being a teenager, being a young adult: “This is who I am, this is what I want, and that’s not going to change.”

But as most of us know from our life experiences, it changes a lot, and it evolves a lot.

So just because they say one thing now doesn’t mean that’s going to be the way it is forever. You can’t think of it as having that same conversation with an adult in their mid-thirties or something. It’s a very different thing.

In that, there is, again, not taking it personally.

Gigi: Right.

Makena: Being professional and not putting pressure on, not trying to get them to do something, but just leaving a door open and watching and waiting.

Having fun with it yourself and with your partner if they’re involved in the business with you.

Gigi: Right.

Makena: Yeah, yeah. Those are some really great points for people who either have the family businesses or the relationship—couples working together.

Is there anything else you want to share just back to the couples side of things about people who are working in business together? That’s a challenging dynamic for a lot of people, right?

Gigi: It is for a lot of people, it is challenging. I have some clients, they’re just extremely professional. They’ve got that way of just being pro with each other, and they see each other in a very great light, even when they’re having challenges.

Most of all, they keep it clean. It’s a practice matter. If you’ve been doing it one way for a long time and you’ve never heard of this before, then to shift it, it’ll take time, and you just practice. Somebody has to lead the way.

Makena: The flip side too—I hear a lot of couples who are in business together struggle with only being in business with each other.

Gigi: Yes.

Makena: Do you want to just touch on that?

Gigi: Yeah, that’s another conversation. That’s where I tell couples, you have to have times, if that’s certain days of the week, that in the evenings, no talking about business is allowed, or on your weekends at certain times, again, that’s structure.

If you’re going to be in business together, you have to put structure to that as well, because otherwise, your whole life will become about the business. In the beginning, when we’re younger, that’s fun, but over time, that gets really—people get bored.

I think a lot of times, especially women, I see they get tired of it after a while.

Makena: It works both ways. You want to have your time to be professional with each other and then your time to be more personal—but personal not in the way we’re talking about here.

You want your time to not be talking about business, but even in your personal life, you don’t have to take things personally. You don’t have to be personal in that sense.

Gigi: We always tell people, be pro instead of personal. Be professional. Also in your personal life, I think if you think of your time off from business as a time that’s more intimate, and it doesn’t mean intimacy in the bedroom, it means intimacy in terms of connectedness when you’re out and not talking about business.

You’re talking about your relationship, your dreams, what you two want, how you’re growing your family, things like that. That’s really important to separate from the topics of business.

Makena: Absolutely. Awesome. Well, I think that’s a great start.

Gigi: Good.

Makena: Okay, we’ll see you all in a couple of weeks on our next episode.

If you haven’t already checked it out, we have our book, The Wisdom That Raised Me. You can hear a little bit more about Gigi and my journey, and the lessons I’ve learned from her. But really, it’s a book for anyone who is ready for something more.

If you have a great life and you’re looking to really step into more of what you want and really become more of who you were meant to be, it’s told through my story, but it’s basically what we do with all of our clients.

There’s great exercises and everything else in there, and it is the story of a family—family business in some ways, and a family legacy.

So it fits well with this topic. You can check that out on Amazon; it’s The Wisdom That Raised Me, and please leave us a review after you read it. Those really help.

We’ll see you all next time.

Gigi: All right. Thank you.

Makena: Thank you.